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It’s Lexi.
That’s it—simple and blunt. I can let him pick up the conversation from there. Maybe he won’t even reply. Maybe, maybe… It’s like seeing Ralph has uprooted a piece of me from the past, the girl I was before—the girl who dreamed of finding a man who’d get lost in her green-blue eyes, who’d like her curvy build, who’d help her find her passion in life.
Feeling like a big ball of nerves is twisting in my stomach, I click send.
CHAPTER 4
Colt
I lay into the heavy bag in my home gym, Viking-style music blasting, all deep voices and crashing drums with the sound of the sea in the background. Shadow sits at the door, watching me with his head tilted, my dark Belgian Malinois looking at me as if I’ve lost my mind.
I keep going when the timer goes off, only stopping when the music pauses and a text notification sounds.
Picking up my phone, I expect it to be Luca or Elio confirming payment for the dock job. It was an easy gig: sitting near the water, waiting for the transfer, then driving home. No sign of the Serpents. No sign of the messed-up connection to my past.
“I swear, boy,” I tell Shadow, “this city has a touch of madness. Too much damn fate for my liking.”
I listened closely to the conversations of the Marino men, waiting to hear anything that might indicate they were aware of my connection to the Serpents. I’m not sure how they would be—it was all so long ago, over ten years—but the coincidence doesn’t sit right with me. Fate, destiny, and all that stuff have never meant much to me. It’s always felt too forced.
When I look down at my phone, my chest tightens. Two simple words, but they make me clench my teeth and let out a shaky breath.
It’s Lexi.
Ever since I gave her my phone number, I’ve been waiting for some contact, waiting for my chance to be with her, to see her again, to touch her, to be close to her. It’s the intensity of the feeling that’s made me fight it so damn hard.
I don’t get like this, lovestruck, whatever the hell you’d call it. I just don’t.
Forcing myself to remain detached, I reply, Is something wrong?
I gave her this number in case of emergencies, after all.
Shadow whines and rubs his snout against my leg. It’s wildly emotional compared to how he usually is. He looks up at me with his glistening eyes as though he can sense the feeling burning in me, this new and curious blast of hope, of belonging.
I shake my head, waiting for her message.
…
I never thought something as simple as a typing symbol could cause me to sit forward, staring at my phone like I’m trying to make it explode with my gaze. I’m thrumming all over with hot energy and fierce hunger. How many times have I thought of Lexi since I met her? A hundred? A thousand? More?
I don’t know how to explain it, she types, and I imagine her staring intently at her phone with those gorgeous mismatched eyes.
Try. If something’s wrong, I can help. That’s why I gave you this number, remember?
I almost don’t send this. Part of me doesn’t want her to think the only reason I gave her this number is because I’m some wannabe Good Samaritan doing my best to clean up this dirty world. I decided long ago that I’d keep my distance from relationships. I wouldn’t tempt fate. I wouldn’t let myself hope.
It’s not easy for a person like me to admit I’m scared, she replies.
I stand up, clenching the fist of the hand not holding my phone, my heart drumming with sudden volume, sudden intensity.
Who’s scaring you, Lexi?
It takes her a long time to reply. The message-typing symbol appears and disappears several times. I leave the gym and go into my living room, the floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city. I took a strange satisfaction in buying this absurdly expensive apartment. It was a fuck-you to the Serpents.
It’s difficult to explain, she replies.
Shadow whines at me again, looking up as if saying, We have to get to the bottom of this.
You have to try. I won’t be able to function knowing you’re afraid, Lexi. I won’t be able to live. It’ll eat me up inside. It’ll ruin my life.
I delete the message, reminding myself not to be melodramatic, and then type, Just be honest.
CHAPTER 5
Lexi
Just be honest? That’s what he wants from me, and I guess it’s fair. I’m the one who texted him after all these months, almost a year. Yet when it comes down to the big moment where I could let everything go, there’s this block in my mind.
I’ve spent so long keeping it shut away, out of sight, not letting my thoughts stray there. I’ve buried it so deep that I even felt annoyed that Ruby hid her drama from me. I had no right, but I’ve pushed it down so much.
