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I glare at my phone. What right do I have to be angry after how I handled things? Yet the anger burns through me anyway. You were supposed to follow me, I type, then delete. What sort of message is that?
As I ride the elevator down, I struggle to determine what happened. Half the battle went unspoken like he was hiding something, and so was I. Maybe it’s all too much, Ralph, telling Colt, the aftermath. Perhaps I need time?
Why didn’t you follow me? I type, then delete, shaking my head as I walk across the lobby.
Colt
It was the truth, Lexi, I type, as Shadow grumbles at me from the entrance to the hallway in the direction Lexi went as if he’s asking me if he can follow her. I want a family with you. I want—NEED—a future with you. I can’t imagine being with anybody else, but it reminded me of something when you reacted like that. Something bad. Something that happened to me years ago. I’ve had a kid before, and I killed her mother.
I stare at the message, biting down. It’s all true, especially that last line, seen in a certain way. I murdered her. It was my fault. I killed them both, and now I want to start another family?
I delete the message, not letting myself reread it, trying not to let myself think about it too much. I should’ve followed Lexi. The only thing that stopped me was the memory—the idea it could happen again.
Like I’m sleepwalking, I move through the apartment, find the photo, and stare down at the woman, the child, the past. My cell phone vibrates.
It’s Dante. Meet at the diner? It’s for a personal project.
Curious and needing a distraction, I let Shadow out on the balcony, refresh his water, and then head out. During the elevator ride to the garage, I write and delete two messages to Lexi.
I’m sorry, Lexi. I shouldn’t have said that.
It’s the truth. You feel it, too. Your body belongs to me. Your soul belongs to me. Your future belongs to me.
If it weren’t for the photo, maybe I’d send them. Childishly, I think about the fact she hasn’t texted me. The drive to the diner is quick. The sun has come out; the afternoon brightens as I walk across the lot and into the restaurant.
Dante sits in a corner booth with an elderly woman at his side. He touches the woman’s arm and then stands, walking over to me quickly with an awkward look on his face. “Colt,” he says quietly. “I… uh… Thanks for coming.”
“Is something wrong?” I ask. Dante seems so different from the fierce, unstoppable operator at the Serpent raid.
“That’s my ma over there,” Dante replies quietly. “Basically, well, she thinks I’m working too much. She feels guilty. I’m spending too much time earning money so she can survive. So I told her that’s not true. I’ve got friends, you know, a social life, all that crap.”
His tone takes on that emotionless quality again. “So what I’m asking you is… will you come over there and go along with it?”
“Pretend to be your friend?” I ask.
“Pretty much,” he shrugs. “It’s a pain in the ass, Colt, I know.”
I smirk, shaking my head. “Nah, it’s nothing, Dante. I got you.”
“You sure?”
“That lady deserves to be happy. If this is what she needs, then that’s okay with me.”
Dante nods. “Thanks, Colt.”
At least I can do some good after the way I left things with Lexi. After this, I’ll text her. I’ll find a way to tell her the truth. She told me about her past, her shame. I need to do the same.
But first, Dante and I walk over. A kind-looking elderly lady smiles up at me.
“Mom, this is Colt.”
She holds her hand out. She’s trembling. When she speaks, her voice is quiet, ghostly almost. I have to lean forward to hear her. “Hello, Colt. What fun to meet one of Dante’s friends!”
CHAPTER 30
Lexi
The car comes to a stop outside Ruby’s house. When I got into the car, I asked the driver if he could take me there instead. His name’s Matteo. I’ve seen him around a few times since Luca and Ruby got together, and I remember him from the wedding.
“Thank you,” I say, climbing from the car.
“No need to thank me, miss,” he replies with a grin. “Thank the Marinos.”
“I’ll thank my sister then,” I say, laughing.
He chuckles as he drives away. I guess it does sometimes seem funny that Ruby is a Marino. Before I can knock on the door, it flies open and Ruby appears with a big grin. I guess she heard the car. She’s wearing a flowy apron, covered in batter, still with some pregnancy curviness, her cheeks red and somehow tired. She also looks somehow ecstatic, happier than I’ve ever been. My baby sister captures so much with her expression.
