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Shadow sits up and starts pawing the door.
“Somebody’s excited,” Lexi says, with a maternal note in her voice. It’s something I haven’t let myself think about since… Yet, I can’t deny it or hide from it. It produces so much longing in me, so much confusion.
Shadow whines again as I pull into the parking lot.
“He doesn’t normally pine,” I tell her.
She looks at me, seems shy for a moment, then smiles in a tempting, playful way. “I guess that makes two of you, huh?” she says, and my smile grows wider.
“I bet he doesn’t normally smile either, right?” she says, and we both know she’s not talking about Shadow. My man’s best friend is smiling at me right now, mouth wide open in a big goofy grin, like he understands everything we’re saying and thoroughly approves.
“It’s easier to be grumpy when you’re not around,” I tell her.
“Yeah, ditto,” she replies. “I was getting really good at the whole resting bitch face thing, but you’re ruining that.”
I reach over and gently cradle her face, feeling the shape of her smile against my hand, feeling the warmth teasing between us. There’s so much I want to say, but I don’t know how. I don’t have the skills to express how much she means to me.
I don’t have the skills to comprehend how that could be possible. A few days ago, I was as don’t-give-a-damn as it’s possible to get. Now, I can’t stop caring, can’t stop thinking about her. How beautiful she is. How sexy. How maternal.
What the fuck is wrong with me, and why doesn’t it feel wrong?
She reaches her hand up and lays it over mine, pushing down so I can feel her heat even more. “It feels better being happy, doesn’t it?” she says softly.
“Yes,” I reply, my voice grave, as the emotions lay as heavy as the night over me.
I don’t think anybody has ever made being happy sound so dangerous. Maybe it’s because I know it can all be taken away. This time, it would be so different. It would cut so much deeper. If the same thing happened to Lexi, it would end me.
CHAPTER 23
Lexi
We walk the trail, deserted at this time of night. Colt has one hand on a heavy flashlight, and the other is braced on my shoulder. He’s not exactly holding me romantically, but his protective aura—there’s that word again—has me leaning closer to him. This feels really couple-ish if that’s even a term. It’s like he’s protecting me from the dark.
I try to remind myself I don’t need protection, but it’s hard to resist my man. My man. What’s happened to me? Yet I don’t want to fight it, even if I know some things will come between us, like Ralph. I almost told Colt. Almost.
Shadow darts in and out of the trees, a flash of darkness across the flashlight’s beam of light.
“What is he chasing?” I ask.
Colt laughs. I love making him laugh. There’s always a hint of surprise in there. Not that he’s shocked I’m funny, but more like he’s shocked he still has the capacity for laughter. Maybe I’m overanalyzing, but I don’t think so. “I’m not sure he even knows. I’m telling you, Lexi. He’s gone crazy since you came along.”
“Shadow,” I call.
A moment later, he appears in front of us, sitting up, his tall nose tipped back, almost like he’s judging us. “I thought that look was meant for dogs, not people.”
Colt laughs again, and it feels like a reward. I’m acting so smitten, but I can’t help it. I always thought when Ruby talked about Luca, it made sense because Ruby is Ruby. She’s always been more emotional, softer than me in a sense. Not in a bad way. With Colt, I feel soft, and I don’t even feel guilty or ashamed.
“He’s waiting for a command,” Colt says, a note of wonder in his voice. “Seriously, Lexi, he’s taken to you like nobody else.”
“Maybe he knows I need protecting from you,” I tease, meaning it to come out as a joke.
Yet when Colt looks at me, there’s genuine hurt in his eyes. He tries to hide it behind a smirk, but I’m sure I can see it. I lean closer to him. “I’m only kidding.”
“I know,” he says softly.
“I meant it before, and I mean it now. I’m not scared of you.”
“Maybe you should be.”
“You’re talking to Screwdriver Girl, remember? Relax.”
“Is that your new nickname?” he laughs, leaning down and kissing me on the forehead. He does it so casually, as if we belong together already.
“I think it fits. What shall I tell this one, then?” I gesture at Shadow.
“Follow,” Colt says, and Shadow walks over, standing at my hip. Colt looks down at him and smirks. “I see how it is, boy.”
“What?” I ask, laughing.
“He’s supposed to follow the person who gives the command, but he’s made his choice.”
