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Guess that’s all the greeting I get after four years. I try to throw a shield back up around my heart to keep the sting of it away, one that I let down over the past months for Walker.
Walker pulls the chair out next to Beth for me to slide into before settling in the last remaining spot.
The table is quiet for a moment, awkwardness filling the air as we look at each other. Four out of the six of us are tied together by blood, but you wouldn’t know it looking from the outside.
“Walker’s an interesting name,” my mother says, breaking the tension, tone indicating she in fact doesn’t find it interesting but instead finds it mildly distasteful.
“Walker is my last name actually. My name is James, but I’ve been called Walker my whole life.”
“James is a lovely name,” she says, showing her preference and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s how she chooses to address him the rest of the night.
Walker gives her a small smile, likely not sure how to respond to that.
I direct my attention to the menu in front of me, the font small and slanted, hard to read in the low lighting. But it’s a small menu, not many choices to pick from and not the kind of food I would typically go for. My eyes sweep past some of the items with a cringe, before settling on a steak just as our waiter appears.
“Good evening.” He inclines his head to our table, white buttoned shirt pristine. “My name is Ethan and I have the pleasure of serving you all tonight. Can I get everyone started with something to drink?”
Ethan looks at my parents first. Iced tea for my mother, sparkling water with lime for my father.
Water for me and Beth, Diet Coke for Walker, and Coke for Christopher.
Looking around, we’re one of the only tables without a bucket for champagne stationed at its side or long-stemmed glasses filled with red wine.
Ethan asks if we have any questions on the menu before disappearing to get our drinks. While we can all still avoid conversation with a valid reason, everyone looks over their menus again, reading the same items over and over.
My parents lean over and talk softly to one another, pointing out various things on the paper in front of them. While my relationship may be strained with them, I can’t help but watch them, admiring the way they listen to each other intently, sharing small gestures of affection and finishing each other's sentences. They may not have modeled a life that I wanted to live growing up, but they never made me question that true love does exist.
“Do you know what you’re going to get?” Walker leans over and asks. I inhale the puff of cologne that comes with his movement, letting it settle over my skin and calm my mind.
“The sirloin and grilled asparagus. You?”
“Sirloin too, but I’m getting the potatoes. Need some sustenance after that car ride.” He pats his stomach.
“That was barely a road trip.” I roll my eyes and turn to Beth. “How’s Ruth? Where is she tonight?”
Beth folds her hands neatly over the table in front of her. “She’s amazing.” Her face lights up at just the mention of her little girl. “She’s with Christopher's parents tonight, but I can’t wait for you to see her tomorrow. She' finally is getting enough hair for me to clip a bow in it.” She reaches to the side for her purse and pulls out her phone, scrolling through recent photos.
My heart swells looking at them, her eyes round and crystal blue, skin soft and squishy. She looks just like Beth, to which I tell her and she smiles. “She’s my mini me.”
“She’s beautiful,” I say. “And I’m not just saying that because she’s my niece.”
Beth laughs, the sound light and airy. “I don’t mean to be prideful, but I would have to agree.”
“Never,” I assure her. While Beth may still maintain a close relationship to my parents and their faith, she’s never once adapted their air of superiority.
Ethan returns with our drinks and takes everyone’s orders before taking our only distraction device away and leaving us all with no option other than to talk to each other.
“So tell us all about the tour,” Beth says to the table but directing the question to me and Walker. “What’s been your favorite city so far?”
Walker inclines his head to me, letting me answer first. “It’s been good,” I say, then correct myself. “Great, actually. We’ve gotten to see a lot of really cool places, play in some really incredible venues. It’s opened a lot of doors for me so I’m very grateful I’m able to be a part of it. Seattle was a cool city, and I liked the sightseeing I was able to do there.”
I turn to Walker, letting him speak. He clears his throat. “Dallas was my favorite city so far. It’s where Scar finally agreed to let me take her out on a date.”
Beth smiles at his answer, as do I. “Did you know each other beforehand?”
“Nope, met the day of our first show in L.A.”
“Are you also a singer?” Christopher asks, clearly out of his depth here discussing music that isn’t hymns but I appreciate the effort he’s putting in.
