That realization hadn’t hit me yet. “Well, it’s not like we talked a whole lot anyways.”
Walker pulls back, staring at me like I’ve grown another head. “Why aren’t you more upset about this?”
I plop down on the couch, shucking off my jean jacket.
Why am I not more upset about this?
“Honestly, I have bigger things to worry about than Reid being some anonymous source when all of my dirty laundry is already out there. Beth texted me a little bit ago.”
Walker’s entire demeanor changes at that last sentence. All anger is wiped from his posture and instead concern washes over him. “What did she say?”
“She asked if I was going to be able to make it to the baptism and sent over the details. Including a family dinner out with my parents the night before.” I pick at a loose thread on my jeans, wrapping it around the tip of my finger until it turns bright red and develops its own heartbeat.
“What did you tell her?”
“I haven’t answered yet, but I think I’m going to say yes. I don’t want Ruth to grow up and not know who I am at all and look back at photos and see her only aunt was never around.”
Walker nods his head, and even though I know he would never tell me, I think he’s always thought I should go.
“Does your offer still stand to join me? Walk into the lion's den with me?”
Walker leans forward and kisses the top of my head. “I’ll be right by your side the entire time.”
I stand and wrap my arms around his waist, enjoying the way my body melds so easily into his, how safe he makes me feel. “Thank you.”
It’s comforting to know I’ll finally have someone who has my back going home.
“How did you all leave things after your meeting this morning?” I ask.
Walker’s arms tighten around me. “Not great.”
“What’s ‘not great’ mean?”
“I said after our summer shows were over, we’re done.”
I rear back, looking up at him, checking to see if he’s serious. Because surely, he can’t be. They’ve been together for so many years. They’re more like brothers than friends. “You don’t mean that, do you?”
He rocks us gently back and forth, silent for so long I don’t think he’s planning to answer.
Walker stares out the window, voice distant as he finally says, “Honestly, I don’t know.”
35
SCAR
The bus has been awkward as hell the past week and a half. After the meeting the guys had with Arun where Reid confessed to talking to the media about me and Walker ended it by basically saying the band is done after their scheduled dates, it’s felt like walking through a cemetery on a rainy day.
I must admit that part of that is my fault, as my attempted conversation with Reid definitely didn’t go…great.
“I find it interesting that the little boy who has barely been able to look me in the eye seems to know so much about me that he can report on my life to journalists. That’s odd, right?” I say, standing stock still in front of Reid, arms across my chest, not budging from blocking his way to continue down the hallway of the bus to his bunk.
Reid stares down at me, eyes cold with icy rage like I’m a bug he would love to squash. He has almost an entire foot on me, but I refuse to shrink under his glare. He doesn’t get to be the one upset here.
“Got nothing to say to me?”
His jaw clenches, and for a moment, it looks like he’s about to open his mouth, but he just cracks his neck side to side and stares over my head, ignoring me.
I laugh, or more like let a strong puff of air through my lips and crane my neck up and down, surveying his entire body.