I chew on that for a moment, letting the truth of it sink in.
When we wrote our first album, we were all teenagers, moving out to LA and trying to make music our reality.
When we wrote our second album, we had found a sense of success and were riding it high, feeling the world at our fingertips and like we were invincible.
When we wrote our third album, we felt like we could finally take full creative control and experiment, decide what kind of sound felt like us and not just what could get us the most hits.
When we wrote our fourth album, we had all finally experienced true love and true heartbreak, bleeding our lust and pain into each melody.
But now for our fifth album, where do we all fall?
I’m not sure it’s the same direction anymore.
How did we get here? How did we get so out of sync, lost our connection as a group?
When we were younger, nothing could tear us apart from each other. We were inseparable, bonded together over our mutual dreams and love of creating music. We rode to school together in the morning and home together in the afternoon, practicing until our parents all beckoned us home. And even then, we would often be texting ideas to each other, lyrics we wanted to fit into a song the next day, a melody that we wanted to each remember.
We hustled each and every day, loading and unloading heavy equipment into Hayden’s mom’s old van she gave us, playing shows for ten people but performing like we were playing for ten thousand. Every day, we woke up and just hoped someone would take a chance on us, and one day, someone finally did. Are we really here prepared to throw that all away?
We moved as one. And now sitting here in this conference room, separated by a table and built-up frustration so thick my eyes feel like a film has coated them, I don’t know how we get back to how we once were.
33
WALKER
“All right, we’ll put the fifth album on pause, at least until we get through the summer shows. If you guys ever find yourselves wanting studio time, let me know and I’ll make it happen.” Arun types notes into his phone, jotting down everything we just discussed.
“But this pause is not permanent, correct?” He raises a dark brow at us, eyes scanning from one to the next.
I cross my arms, waiting to hear what everyone else has to say.
“I don’t want it to be,” Nikolai puts out there, Hayden nodding in agreement.
They both turn to look at me and Reid. “Me either,” I agree.
Now the three of us turn to Reid. His eyes, so dark blue they look almost black, are unreadable. “Sure,” he says, voice flat.
Not the most convincing, but at least we’re walking out of here today still as a band, I guess.
Arun nods his head, relief sagging his shoulders a bit. As much as he wouldn’t want to lose us as clients, he doesn’t want to see us fail on a personal level. He’s been with us since we started, and these issues weigh just as heavy on him as they do on us.
“Last matter of business then before I let you return to your day before the show tonight. You all have a podcast appearance next week. It’s your last media obligation of the tour. This will come up.” Arun gestures to the photos. “How would you all like to address it? And please note that fists are not a viable option.”
I shoot him a dirty look to which he shrugs, as if to say that’s what got you into this mess.
“There was more to it than just these two getting pissed at each other,” Nikolai says. “The guy was a total dick, asking us all sorts of inappropriate questions, bringing up Scarlett over and over again.”
“Walker couldn’t handle his girlfriend coming under a little fire which in my opinion, she most certainly deserves,” Reid says.
My teeth clench, keeping words I so badly want to spit back at him lodged firmly in my throat. I won’t let him get a rise out of me today. I said what I needed to say to him, I’ve made my peace with it. I’m not going to engage with him again.
“Shut up,” Hayden tells him. He turns to Arun. “The guy was a misogynistic dick. Walker leaving that interview was warranted. I mean, c’mon, have you ever known him to do that before?”
Arun shakes his head, giving me a sympathetic look. He knows I’d never explode for no reason or blow up an interview like that unless I was really pushed to the brink.
“I listened to the audio back and I have to agree with you all. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to intervene before it reached that point. I will be there for the podcast interview to ensure no questions like that come up again.”
“Hopefully, it’ll all blow over soon,” Hayden says, earning nods from everyone except Reid.