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Not satisfied with my answer, she digs. “For those who have been living under a rock, Scarlett here is currently dating James Walker, Whisper Me Nothings drummer. You’ve both confirmed the relationship. Can you tell us how it started?”
I glance over to Vik, who’s seated in a chair in the corner of the room. She raises an eyebrow at me, silently letting me know I’m on my own to answer these questions if I want. We knew they may arise, and Walker did too. We’ve talked about how much or how little we want to reveal to the public, and after a few discussions, decided we’d stick to the basics. We’re together, we’re happy, but no one else needs to know anything more than that.
“We obviously met when the tour started and got to know each other. And I think everyone else seems to know how that has ended up for us.”
“C’mon, can you give us any details? Maybe a funny moment for the two of you, or how you both realized you wanted to be with each other?”
I think about her question. I don’t know if I can pinpoint a moment when I decided I wanted to be with Walker. It just sort of happened. He slowly became my favorite part of each day, my favorite company to keep, and I kept wanting more. And as he’s shown me what a thoughtful, caring, and loyal man he is, I knew I never wanted to not have him in my life.
But I don’t say any of that to Allison.
“We both understand that we are in the public eye and of interest to some because of our careers, but we’re choosing to keep our relationship more private.”
Allison nods in understanding, immediately flipping to a new card, and I shoot her a grateful look as she doesn’t keep prying.
“Let’s transition then into what I think most people are curious to hear about from you at the moment, besides your relationship.” She shifts slightly, sitting up straighter and voice taking on a more serious note. “A couple weeks ago, an article came out exposing some pretty serious things from your past. For those who haven’t read it, you were arrested and charged for a DUI, which led you to entering a rehab facility for three months. Because the charges were under your legal name, it took some time for these things to come to light. I first want to ask, did you ever plan on talking about them or were you hoping it would stay buried forever?”
I reach forward and take a sip of water, having been prepared that I would be talking about this today.
I didn’t get the chance to tell my story from my lips first, but I can do so now. Taking a deep breath, I answer, “Honestly, I’m not sure. It’s not something I’m proud of or walk around advertising. I think in the back of my mind, I knew that after I started gaining more attention on this tour that there was a chance it would come to light and that maybe I should get in front of it, but I didn’t even want to talk about it with—” I stop myself, not wanting to say that I didn’t even want to share it with Walker because that would be a lie. I did want to talk to him about it; I was just scared to. And fear has a powerful silencing effect if you let it.
I clear my throat and continue, “I don’t know what I was planning to do in terms of ever talking about it, but it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s out there for everyone to know.”
“How did you feel that morning when you woke up and saw the story had broken?”
“Embarrassed. And scared, but mostly just ashamed. That night was the worst night of my life and I regret it deeply. I could’ve really hurt someone and I’ll never stop thanking God that I didn’t.”
“You went to rehab after the accident and arrest. Was that court ordered or something you chose?”
“I chose. I had been struggling for a long time.” My throat burns, tears well in my eyes and I blink them away. “I was an alcoholic, and unfortunately, it took something drastic for me to admit it to myself. But it happened and now I’ve been sober ever since that night.” I raise my chin, proud to be able to say those words.
“Good for you,” Allison says sincerely. “Has it been hard to maintain your sobriety on the road, always being surrounded by alcohol and parties?”
I don’t want to think back to the night when Beth called me and the temptation I felt stronger than I had felt in such a long time.
“I can still have fun without drinking.”
“All the fun and none of the hangovers,” Allison jokes.
“Pretty much.” I laugh.
Allison switches to another card. “Now one of the reasons things took a while to come to light I’m sure had to do with the fact that you don’t use your legal name anywhere associated with your work.”
“I’m not sure how anyone even found it,” I mutter.
“How did you come up with Scarlett Lane?”
“Well, as you can see from that article, my middle name is Scarlett and it always fit me better. And then I pulled Lane from my first name, Elaine.” I shrug. It’s not a very exciting story.
“That’s nice that you still kept the essence of it but morphed it into something else,” Alex says. “Does your family still call you Elaine?”
My stomach instantly twists, the way it always does when the topic of my family comes up.
“Yes.” I keep my answer short, hoping she’ll move on to something else.
She doesn’t.
“I’m sure it’s been an adjustment for them to see their daughter in the media.”
