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“I can’t be selfish just because I love—” I stop, catching myself from finishing that sentence.
But Walker isn’t going to let it drop. “Finish that sentence.”
I shake my head, looking down at our laps.
Walker grabs my chin, and our eyes lock, his blazing. “Finish that damn sentence, Scarlett.”
My stomach flips at him pulling out my full name.
“I love you. I love you, James. And it’s because of that that I can’t. I won’t allow myself to take you down with me.”
My voice cracks, tears returning, blurring my vision and distorting the image of Walker in front of me. Sharp jawline filled with stubble that I love to run my hands across, deep green eyes that hold my future in them, dark hair falling across his brow and curling around his ears. All of it melts together from my mess.
He’s perfect and he makes me want to be perfect with him, but I fear I’ll never be able to live up the good that lives inside of him and shed the darkness that lives inside of me.
“That’s not your decision to make and we decided a long time ago that we were going to do this together, face these things together. I was all in then and I’m all in now.”
His eyes bounce back and forth between mine, voice serious.
“You’re not taking me down with you. If bad press got to me, I would’ve quit this industry a long time ago.” He laughs, but there’s no humor behind it. “And I’m not letting you push me away because you’re scared. Because you know what? I’m fucking scared too. Every day, I wake up and my first thoughts are of you. When I swing my feet over the edge of my bunk, my eyes immediately look toward yours, wanting to catch a glimpse of you. When I get on stage every night, I should be playing for the audience but instead I’m playing for you. Every moment of my day is consumed by you because I love you too, Scar. I fucking love you and I think I have since the first moment I ever saw you sing back at that very first sound check on opening night. And it’s terrifying because whether you know it or not, you hold my entire heart in your hands and it no longer belongs to me. So I’m asking you, please don’t break it just because you’re scared, too.”
I let his words sink in, the plea in his voice and the sincerity in his eyes.
There’s no stopping this. I tried to keep him at arm’s length at the beginning, fearful of this very thing where so much of myself is entangled with him and so much of him is entangled with me. But I’ve spent my entire life being scared, pushing people away and thinking I didn’t need anyone or anything because I had no trust or love to give.
But Walker has shown me I can trust him, proven to me I deserve more than I settle for, and showed me what it’s like to be unconditionally loved. I just revealed some of the ugliest parts of myself, and instead of running away, he’s sitting here, begging me to stay.
I stopped running from my problems that night I was arrested, and today is when I stop running from the man I love.
28
WALKER
My lungs scream for air as I hold my breath, waiting to see Scar’s next move. I just laid it all out there for her, put everything I had on the table and it’s up to her if she’s going to send it all crashing down or choose to be by my side.
When the article broke this morning, my phone immediately blew up with notifications from my various social media accounts, calls and texts from people I haven’t heard from in months. Arun and the guys hunted me down at the local gym I found and got a day pass to lift some weights before it got too busy.
Judging by Arun’s sour expression when he found me, I figured he didn’t know about the article going live ahead of time. I would assume Vik didn’t either or else she would’ve clued Arun in and likely Scar, who would’ve told me.
Or I hope she would’ve told me.
I didn’t touch the article, wanting to hear everything from Scar first. And as she sat here on my lap and tearfully shredded herself apart to bare her wounds to me, I’m thankful I did because she deserved to be the one to tell people about her past when she was ready. Not when some assholes did some digging and wanted their fifteen minutes by exposing her.
Anger on her behalf simmers inside of me, but I try to keep a lid on it on the outside, not wanting her to feel responsible for it when it’s not her fault.
After what seems like minutes but I’m sure is just mere seconds, Scar closes the small space between us and slams her lips to mine, devouring me with a hungry kiss I quickly return.
I grab her hips, pulling her closer and grinding her over my lap, earning a groan from both of us.
“You love me?” She pulls back, breathless.
“I love you.”
Her eyes, so dark they look almost black, search mine, seeing the truth behind my words. Scar’s tongue darts out to wet her lips, and I track the movement with hunger.
Accepting my words for the truth they are, Scar leans in once more and just as she’s about to kiss me, she darts her head to the side, instead peppering soft kisses along my jawline, my throat.
Her lips leave behind shivers, my entire body tuned into each new spot she kisses. My cock strains against her core and by the way she shifts her hips slightly side to side, I know she can feel it too.
