AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I nod my head in agreement, mouth watering just at the thought of those steamed buns that Naomi has made for me a few times before. “That’d be perfect,” I say, shooting her a grateful smile. I’m ready to be in the comfort of my own space, tucked away from people for the rest of the day.
Or at least until I have to get on stage in front of a few thousand of them tonight.
21
WALKER
These hotel curtains aren’t doing shit to block the sunlight out of my room, keeping me away from a much-needed nap. I turn over on my side, throwing a pillow over my head to get comfortable and willing sleep to drag me under.
My phone buzzes on my nightstand and I ignore it. When it falls silent, I breathe a sigh of relief, only to have it start buzzing again a moment later.
“Fuck me.” I sigh, chucking the pillow off my face and stretching my arm across the bed to grab my phone. The screen lights up with Jane’s name, and I slide my thumb across to answer.
“What?” I say as I turn the call on speaker.
A scoff comes through the line. “Is that any way to greet me after you haven’t called for weeks?”
“Sorry Janie, I’m trying to get some sleep here before the show tonight and it’s been a fucking morning,” I groan, rubbing the tension out of my forehead.
“Hit me with it.”
She doesn’t have to ask me twice.
“We’ve been trying to work on the next album and it’s shit. Everything is feeling forced. No one’s visions are aligning, and Hayden and Reid can’t stop bickering long enough to even get a single idea fleshed out. And it’s not helping that our studio time is so limited on the road that when we do get in the studio, we all feel a sense of pressure to make the most out of the time, but we’re all so exhausted from the shows that we’re barely making any progress as is. I don’t know…” I trail off, anxiety churning in my gut. “I don’t know if we’re gonna get this record together.” The words are sour coming out of my mouth.
Never once have we struggled like this to write material together. And I thought all of us taking a break would be a boost we needed when we got back together, but instead it feels like everyone is out of sync with each other, which I’ve never felt in our ten years together.
“I’m sorry,” Jane says, full of empathy. She’s been our biggest fan from the start. From watching our band practice in Hayden’s parents’ basement, helping us plaster flyers for our first shows all across the school, and listening to me play drums for hours on end. She knows each of the guys like they’re her brothers and hearing we’re struggling hurts her too.
“And I’m sure Arun isn’t going to be very giving with pushing back a timeline for it?”
“Hell no.” I laugh, but no humor is behind it. Arun will support us as much as he can, but at the end of the day, this is a business and he needs us to deliver.
Jane doesn’t even try to appease me, knowing full well how this all works. Our label was giving enough with postponing the tour after the shooting and letting Hayden and Nikolai take a breather. They aren’t going to give us any more leeway now that they have us all back under their thumb.
“How’s the tour going otherwise?” Jane asks.
“Good,” I respond on instinct. “Great actually,” I answer more honestly. “It feels so good to be playing live again. I missed it like nothing else.”
“That’s amazing, James. I can hear the smile in your voice as you say that.”
“It’s crazy how we can be so out of sync trying to work on this new album, but then onstage, every night it’s like we’re all one form extended through four people. And you can tell the crowd can see it, how they respond to it. It’s electric, I don’t know any other way to put it.”
The screams, the cheers, the faces lit up in pure joy as we perform. We’re in our pocket each night, all of us giving it our everything to them and to each other. When we’re onstage, it’s hard to think how we could be anything but cohesive offstage.
I’m not sure where that disconnect is lying, but we have to figure it out and figure it out fast.
“How are Hayden and Nikolai holding up?”
I shrug even though she can’t see it. “Eh, I think as well as they can. Hayden still gets pretty anxious whenever we’re arriving or leaving the venue and there’s a crowd gathered that security can’t really check.” He tries to play it off, but I know the fears are still eating at him.
“Nikolai doesn’t seem to even think twice about it anymore, but you know how he is. Smooth sailing on the surface, torrential storm underneath.”
Jane murmurs in agreement.
“How about Reid? I see he’s deleted all of his socials. Not like he would post anything besides a shirtless photo here and there anyways.”
Oh, the cries heard ’round the world when Reid deactivated his accounts, therefore taking with the many thirst traps he posted over the years.
