As we all head out, I pull Hayden under my arm and tuck him close to my side. “It’s gonna be okay,” I tell him.
He doesn’t seem fully convinced, but he nods anyways. I’m already proud of him making it this far and being willing to get back out here like we are.
It’s a short walk from our greenroom down the dimly lit corridors until we spot everyone huddled together backstage. Boone stands facing us, arms wrapped around Naomi, both smiling and joking with one of the stagehands. A pang of jealousy runs through me at the sight. Not jealously over Naomi herself, but at the love and admiration between the two of them.
I need to get laid.
Scarlett’s back is to us, unaware of our approach. The way her long hair is curled reflects more of the purple on the ends. It’s the only pop of color that I can tell that she’s wearing.
“Ticktock, boys,” Boone calls out as we approach, checking an imaginary watch on his wrist. I know without having to reference my phone that we can’t be more than a minute or two behind.
There’s a large group gathered and as soon as we enter the fold, Boone rattles off introductions.
We have a crew of stagehands that will be traveling with us for the whole tour so they’ll know our routine as well as we do. Arun’s off to the side with Vik and they’ll be joining us for many legs of the tour. Boone introduces Naomi to those who haven’t met her before and I offer her a warm smile and she shoots me a familiar one back. I’ve gotten to spend a decent amount of time with her since she moved here to be with Boone and as the two of us have grown closer.
Boone then introduces Scar to those who haven't met her yet and Nikolai and Reid cross the circle to offer her a handshake. Reid seems slightly standoffish as he does so, but I don’t think twice about it as that tends to be his nature with new people. Nikolai, however, always one with a flair for the dramatic, mocks a bow and kisses the top of Scar’s hand in lieu of a shake. She only stands there looking bored, not even a flicker of surprise crosses her face. She watches him with indifference in those sharp eyes of her.
A flair of satisfaction jolts through me as I see her unaffected by Nikolai’s presence.
Two unfamiliar faces jog up to the group, both dressed in all black and carrying different cameras.
“This dynamic duo right here,” Boone beckons them closer in the circle, the man immediately stepping in front of the woman with him, blocking her from fully entering the fold and edging his way closer. “This is Daniel and Carter. They’ll be with us the whole time taking videos and pictures for all of our social media. Daniel’s shot shows and festivals with me before and does really sick work. And he brought Carter to help him out with everything, so we’re very lucky to have them on the team.”
“Any content you need, you just come see me, all right?” Daniel grins and puffs his chest out, as if trying to measure up with all of the tall people surrounding him.
It doesn’t slip past me that he either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care that Carter can’t seem to get around him to also introduce herself.
I already don’t like the guy.
Once introductions are over and Boone’s rallying speech is complete, Nikolai leads a round of applause and everyone heads off to get ready for Scar’s set beginning in just a few minutes. I’m about to follow her as she steps away from the group, but I’m pulled into a huddle with my bandmates.
We form a circle, blocking the rest of the world out with our arms around each other’s shoulders, heads leaned in so close our foreheads are all almost touching. A mix of sweat and various colognes fill the air while I feel my heartbeat begin to rise. The white noise of the crowd in the background, eagerly anticipating the show's start serves as the backdrop to our moment, just the four of us. The four of us have been together since we were fifteen and sixteen, playing in Hayden’s parents’ basement and begging for shows at local bars.
I close my eyes and take a moment, breathing in sync with my brothers around me, and send a prayer of thanks to whatever resides above that this is my life that I get to live. I don’t know what I did to deserve it, but I’m thankful as fuck everyday.
“I know it’s been a while,” I start, always the one to speak up at moments like these between us. “And we may be rusty, we may make mistakes, but we’re going to put on a damn good show. We’re going to show everyone that a break didn’t kill us, didn’t kill our talent, drive, or love for what we do.”
Nikolai nods to my right, murmuring softly to himself.
“I love you, guys.” I slap Hayden and Nikolai’s backs, then give a pat on top of Reid’s head as we break apart.
“Let’s do this.”
6
SCAR
As our group huddle disperses, Boone and Naomi, unsurprisingly, book it back toward their greenroom. The stagehands all scatter around, buzzing bees all working together to keep the hive up and running. Arun and Vik appear as if they are trying to “out business” each other, pecking back and forth on who was dealing with the most important matters to come out on top. The two photographers are digging around in their large camera bags, the dude barking orders at the girl with him.
He seems like a real treat.
Hope that isn't her boyfriend.
The Whisper Me Nothings guys all huddle close, weaving their arms around each other and leaning in closely, as if they are in their own world, own atmosphere. You can feel it in the air around, as if they are all breathing one breath together, all tied by invisible threads, like four puzzle pieces falling gently into place and locking tight. It’s oddly fascinating and I want to scold myself for watching, feeling as if I’m an intruder even from afar.
You know it’s a funny thing being a solo artist because I love the creative control I get, and as a solitary person, I don’t often wish for company or someone else to attach their name to my own. But as I look around, standing in the cloak of darkness that backstage provides and see everyone around me move with a purpose, and as a unit, my chest grows tight.
Fuck that.