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“We’re all going to die,” Mom said. She threw her hands up and went back inside. “I should’ve known it was the youngest one gonna get us all killed!”
“Oh my God,” Landon muttered.
“You sent a dick pic to the daughter of Beaston?” Dad asked. “I’m just making sure I got this right.”
“Well…I sent her one dick pic, but in my defense, you said that’s how Fullers show affection.”
“Yeah!” Dad yelled. “To women who won’t fuckin’ kill us in our sleep. You sent a sacred dick pic to a girl who will suffocate you for fun—”
“With her boobs?” Landon asked hopefully.
“Does it matter? You’ll be dead either way! Son, she got her weirdness and her sight from Beaston, and none of the redeeming qualities of her mother. She will eat you alive.”
“I’m down one son!” his mother wailed dramatically from inside.
“She’s got really perky titties—”
“They all do, and then they get old!”
“Hey!” his mom said, appearing out of nowhere in the open doorway with a glare for his dad.
“Not you, honey, you are an eternal boner-maker.”
“Thank you,” his mother said with a bow.
“Gross,” Landon muttered. “Look, I can’t explain it, but I can’t stop thinking about her.”
“Now I have to fight Beaston,” Clinton said seriously.
“What? Why?”
“Because I love you, but you’re going to fuck this up and then Beaston is going to want his pound of flesh. You’re the runt of the litter, and you don’t weigh that much—”
“I’m three hundred pounds, and I’m the biggest one of your sons—”
“And then you’ll just be dead, and your mother will never give me blow jobs again—”
“Okay! You won’t have to fight Beaston. I’m probably not going to fuck this up. I’m taking Lucia out on a date tomorrow. I just came here to ask for advice.”
“Clearly it’s not survival advice,” Dad muttered.
Landon’s eye twitched. “What do I wear, and where do I take her?”
“Hey, Alyssa?” Clinton called.
“Yeah?” his mom asked from inside.
“What should your son wear when he dies, and where should he eat his last meal?”
“I’m leaving,” Landon growled. “This was a waste of my time.” He stood, tossed his unopened beer to his dad, and jogged down the stairs.
“Waaaait,” Dad drawled out.
Landon was good and pissed off now, but he turned and crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for some new annoying jab at his life choices.
Clinton ran his hands through his still-blond hair. That man didn’t gray. In fact, he didn’t even age. He huffed a sigh. “If she has your attention, it’s for a reason, and sometimes it’s not your human side in control of that. Does she have her animal back yet?”
Landon dropped his gaze to the ground. Oh, he’d heard the rumors about Lucia’s inner grizzly disappearing. No one had a guess why though. It was just a bunch of speculation. He didn’t like the way everyone talked about her.
