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Ayden notices this too, and it seems to increase his fear. He abandons all restraint and puts his hand on my cheek. It feels warm, familiar, and yet part of me cries out in pain, Make him stop! Get rid of him! Anger floods through me, and I just want to shove him away from me.
“Look at me,” he says, banishing my all-consuming rage as fast as it came. “Focus on me. I’m with you. You’re not alone, okay? I don’t want to lose you.”
He’s moved closer. Or maybe I’m imagining it. I can feel his breath on my skin. It causes a strange tingling feeling in me. So does that look in his eyes, which I can’t turn away from. What is this? Why does he have this power over me? Why is there still this part of me that can’t let go, keeping me chained to this world?
Ayden takes my hand and lays it against his cheek. I flinch when I feel the warmth of his skin, the firmness of his jawbone, and the tingling in my fingertips that his touch triggers in me. My heart beats faster.
“That’s good, Tess. Look at me. Stay with me.”
I gulp and have no choice but to do as he says. Part of me wants more of him, to keep hearing his voice and touching him the way I am now.
Ayden looks down at my other arm, which he’s holding, and I look at it too. The smoke has receded a little and seems to be slowly disappearing. That alarms me for a moment. Can I let that happen? Is that what I want? But then I feel Ayden’s hand again. He puts his thumb on my chin and forces me to look up at him.
“It was a huge mistake to break up with you. I was hurt, and I honestly thought that if you couldn’t trust me, then the relationship was pointless. But when I almost died, it made me realize I need to fight for you. If I had just been there for you, then at some point you would have come to trust me. I regret it every day, letting you down like that.”
“It… it wasn’t like that.” My voice sounds strangely hurried and strained. I take a deep breath so I can better express what I want to say. “I trust you. It was just too much in that moment. I would have calmed down and come back to talk to you. But I was so overwrought that I never got the chance.”
Ayden smiles sadly and rubs his thumb across my cheek. “When I was slowly losing consciousness after the fight with Alessandro, so many things could have gone through my mind. But the only thing I could think about was you. How much time we could have spent together if I hadn’t screwed up. But I was happy that at least I got see you one last time.”
His hand caresses my cheek, sweet and alluring, so seductive, and I close my eyes and savor the feeling. I want more. Is that so wrong?
When I open my eyes again, I see Ayden’s beautiful face in front of me. He’s so close, and that look in his eyes pierces my heart. His fingers trace my temple, push into my hair, and a shiver runs down my spine. I smell his wonderful scent and inhale deeply.
“The worst thing at that moment was the knowledge that I’d never see you again,” he continues softly. “It hurt so much that I actually imagined you telling me that you loved me.” The words are only a whisper, but I hear them clearly.
My eyes widen in astonishment because I didn’t think he’d heard that. My heart somersaults. What should I say?
“I’m sorry,” he says when he sees the shocked look on my face. “I know you’re with Noah now, and I don’t want to get in the way of that. I promised to leave you alone. You deserve to be happy, and I’m glad that you’re happy with him.”
He lowers his hand, and suddenly this enormous pain wells up in me again. It’s as if I’ve just lost something existential that I need in order to live. And then the words burst out of me in a panic.
“You didn’t imagine it,” I blurt.
Ayden looks astonished, but I don’t give him a chance to respond.
“I’m not with Noah anymore. We broke up after you were injured.” I falter as the next sentence forms in my head, but I can’t stop my mouth from saying it. “I’m not over you.”
A cascade of emotions flash across his face: shock, surprise, disbelief, but also hope, and then this unquenchable longing.
“Tess,” he breathes, slowly bending toward me. “I love you.”
My blood surges through my body in a single wave. Hearing those words means more to me than I can express. I slowly close my eyes. It’s like I’ve been waiting forever for this moment, when I can finally be with the person I belong with.
His lips touch mine, so incredibly soft and tender. But inside me blazes this gigantic fire, sweeping through my veins and igniting everything, and I give myself over to its immense heat. He buries his hands in my hair and pulls me in close. Our tongues melt into a passionate kiss, winding around each other, and I feel like I can’t get close enough to Ayden. I feel the heat radiating off his body, and I want to surround myself with it.
My hands automatically wander to his torso, caressing and exploring it as if I’m discovering him again for the first time. We both start breathing faster, and he softly nibbles my lip, eliciting a soft moan. I still can’t believe what’s happening between us, but I don’t want to question it.
Ayden’s hand caresses my hip and then pushes up under my top. I gasp and seek out his lips again. I grab handfuls of his soft hair and let him feel all of my desire. Oh, how I’ve missed him, his smell, his closeness, his touch. Everything is so much more intense than I remember it, and I never want this moment to end.
His fingertips trace my ribs, running over my skin as if he’s discovering me anew and wants to explore every inch of me. I hold my breath, melting under his kisses and caresses. I can’t get enough of him.
His lips softly brush my neck, and his tongue licks the delicate bare skin there, and a hot shudder spreads out from the center of my body. I run my hands over him like a starving person, feeling his firm silky skin, the contours of his muscles, and all I can think about is how delicious he feels, how perfect he is.
I don’t waste another thought on transforming. The voice has fallen silent, and my feelings all return to me in full force. And they speak an unequivocal language.
“If you keep doing that, I can’t contain myself much longer,” Ayden murmurs in a deep voice right by my ear.
I don’t want him to contain himself. Every part of me longs for him, his body, his caresses. I don’t care where we are or what’s happening around us. That’s all become so irrelevant. I just want to be with him and never lose him again.
