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Chapter 1
Juliette
Four Months Later
“You’re pregnant.”
I was certain I’d misunderstood my doctor’s announcement. “I’m sorry, can you repeat that for me please?”
“You’re pregnant.” Nope, the words didn’t change the second time around like I’d expected them to do. Sure, I’d been feeling a little off and had gained some weight, but not for one minute did I ever think the reason was because I was carrying a baby. “Since your cycle is irregular, I’ll want to schedule an ultrasound to better pinpoint your due date. Normally we’d estimate it using the last period, but that isn’t possible with the sporadic nature of yours.”
I shook my head because there wasn’t any need for an ultrasound to determine how far along I was. If I was pregnant, I knew exactly when it had happened. There was only one possibility, I just didn’t know how it happened. But she misunderstood and explained further. “It’s nothing to be worried about. Amenorrhea, or the cessation of periods, isn’t unusual in female athletes. The intensity of your training and diet as a ballerina can negatively impact your hormonal balance.”
I held my hand up to stop the flow of information. “I’ve been dancing all my life. The abnormality of my cycle isn’t anything new to me, but the pregnancy is.”
“Ahhh, yes, sorry.” The doctor blushed and mumbled an apology. “I do tend to prattle on sometimes.”
“And apparently I tend to get a little snippy when I’m pregnant. Sorry about that, but this news has come as a complete surprise to me. I thought the stress of my first international tour was to blame for my irritability and weight gain.”
“I’d hardly call four pounds a weight gain,” she teased.
“Yeah, well, tell that to my dancing partner,” I muttered. “He complained about each additional pound during our lifts and suggested I lay off the pasta when we were in Italy.”
“I’m afraid to say it, but my instructions are bound to make him complain even further since I’d like to see you gain at least twenty-five pounds during the course of your pregnancy,” she advised gently. “And you’re going to need to modify your dancing to accommodate your growing belly. During the first trimester, you may feel like you can do almost anything, but there will be changes you’re going to need to make. I’m not saying you can’t dance at all, Juliette, but it’s vital for you to listen to your body throughout your pregnancy so you don’t push yourself too far.”
It was a good thing I was sitting down or else my knees might have given out as I considered the ramifications of the news she’d given me. I lifted my shift to expose my stomach and was shocked to see a tiny baby bump. How had I missed this? “I’m already four months along,” I admitted softly.
She glanced down at the laptop she’d brought in and hit a few buttons. “That’s certainly a possibility with the date of your last period, but there’s no way to know for sure considering their irregularity.”
“Trust me, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I got pregnant four months ago.” She raised her eyebrows and looked at me questioningly. “It’s when I lost my virginity.”
“Ohhh,” she drawled as understanding hit. “And no sexual activity since then?”
“Only in my dreams since he was here while I was touring Europe.” Those dreams were no joke, either. He’d come to me each and every night I was gone, tormenting me with my need for him. I relived all the things he’d done to my body during the night I’d spent with him. Over and over again. Waking up with your hand in your panties and your heart thundering when you were sharing a room with another ballerina was not my idea of fun. I was just lucky she was a deep sleeper and hadn’t caught me in an embarrassing position.
“It seems we have a different reason to schedule your ultrasound then, since we’re nearing the usual time for a mid-pregnancy scan.” I got a lump in my throat at hearing the term ‘mid-pregnancy.’ I felt like I’d missed out on so much of it already. “Although the main purpose of the scan is to check that your baby is developing normally, we may also be able to tell if you're expecting a boy or girl. You may want to bring the baby’s father, a family member, or a friend with you since it’s such a special moment.”
The baby’s father. I had to be the only woman ever who lost her virginity during a one-night stand, got knocked up, even though they used condoms every single time that night, and didn’t realize she was pregnant for four months! Oh my goodness, this meant I had to face Declan again. How mortifying.
I didn’t have any other choice, though. There was no getting around it since I needed to tell him I was pregnant. I didn’t even have his phone number, which meant my only choice was to drop in on him unannounced at his apartment. He was bound to think I was either lying to him or that I’d kept the pregnancy a secret for the past few months.
The rest of what the doctor had to say went in one ear and out the other as I agonized over what to tell Declan and when. As I stumbled out of the office with all sorts of paperwork in my hand, I glanced at my watch and heaved a huge sigh of relief at what time it was. My visit to Declan would have to wait since my ballet mistress had organized a welcome home party for those of us who’d been on tour together.
The last thing I wanted to do was attend a party of any kind, not after having this bombshell dropped on me, but I didn’t want to let her down. Plus, it sure didn’t hurt that I had the perfect excuse to wait until tomorrow to face Declan. And with my stomach growling, I was reminded of my need to eat for two.
I hurried along the street, choosing to walk the six blocks between the doctor’s office and the restaurant instead of catching a cab. The fresh air helped me to clear my head and focus on what was important. As I walked into the restaurant, I was still scared about all the changes the baby would bring, but I was also tremendously excited. There was a tiny life growing inside me, one Declan and I had created together. I might not have any idea what to do next yet, but I refused to regret this baby. Not even for a moment.
“Europe must have agreed with you, darling,” Serena murmured as she air kissed me on both sides of my cheeks. As the company’s ballet mistress, her job was to give the daily classes for the dancers and to rehearse the ballets in the company repertoire. She was a harsh task master, but I’d always had a good relationship with her. “You’re practically glowing.”
I was sorely tempted to blurt out my news to her right then and there. It was a conversation which was going to happen soon anyway, but we were interrupted by one of the dancers who’d joined the company when I was getting ready to leave for my tour.
“Juliette, this is Lisa Morisette, a newer member of the corps.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt you,” Lisa offered. “I wanted to tell you how excited I am to dance with you. I didn’t get a chance to tell you how amazing you were as Gamzatti in La Bayadère. I looked for you at the cast party the night before you left but never managed to find you.”
“Yes, I left a little early.” I left the ‘so I could go get knocked up by the sexiest man ever’ unsaid, figuring I shouldn’t blurt it out to a virtual stranger.
