AllFreeNovel
Share Us
‘I’m sorry. You must be devastated.’
Noah slumped into the nearest chair, looking like a defeated soul. ‘I am. Regardless of what is best, I’m shattered that I have to snatch time with my daughter. That we can’t live together here in the country. I did the best I could to be a good dad and husband. I’m disappointed my marriage failed, but I guess with hindsight brings clarity and I know I could have done things differently, but it’s too late. So, my life looks a little different to what I’d hoped. Ava, it’s so easy to be angry. Because anger puts the blame on someone else. When there’s only me to blame. So maybe I was angry, but now I’m simply sad and that’s the worst feeling of all.’
A sob settled in her chest, stuck there. She was pleased Noah was sad and not angry. She felt for him, but…
‘If Emily was to live with you in Bellethorpe, how would you manage? You work long hours. How would Emily get to and from school? After school sport training? What about holidays? You have no support here. Your mother can’t help. Of course, you could hire someone, a babysitter or put her into the local care service.’ She paused, took a deep breath. ‘I understand, I truly do, that you want your daughter here, with you, but that is what makes parenting tough. Doing it alone with no support isn’t easy. You need to earn an income. How do you do that and parent full-time? It doesn’t work. At the moment Lisa can devote one hundred percent of her time to Emily, drop her to and from school, make her afternoon tea, spend time with her. In Bellethorpe, Emily would be spending time with you in the gaps. You’d be spread too thin … that is the practical reality. No one is diminishing your role. You’re a wonderful father and she loves you dearly.’
‘I could make it work. It is different in the country, there’s always someone to help out. But that’s not the point anyway.’
But he didn’t say how and didn’t sound convincing. ‘Just because your parents separated, and Lisa chose to return to the city, none of that means you aren’t worthy, Noah. That you aren’t a wonderful parent, that you cannot have your own family. You can. This isn’t about city versus country girls, nor the city versus country. Not all women are like your wife. Not all men are like your father. It wasn’t your fault that you couldn’t make Lisa happy here in the country. It wasn’t your mum’s fault your father was unhappy. You can move forward, focus on being a great dad, even if it’s not one hundred percent of the time.’
‘How do you make it work?’
‘I work around Ish. I’ve set my life up that way. That’s a sacrifice too, you understand. I love my work but to do that full-time is not possible firstly, from here, and not if I’m the sole responsible parent for my son. It’s not a sacrifice because I’m happy to do it.’
‘But more importantly, Noah, what about the future for Emily? If she chooses to live here one day, what are her prospects? Where will she work? What will she do? What if she’s worked hard to qualify with certain skills but can’t find employment in Bellethorpe? She’d be forced to live elsewhere. Or what if she has a family but can’t secure childcare, or what if she simply wants to borrow a book for her child from a fully stocked, operational library that is open every day of the week? Preventing development might just drive your daughter away. Don’t you want a town where people are happy and don’t have to grumble about driving two hours for hardware?’
His nod was half-hearted. He wasn’t ready to hear it but now was the time to make him.
‘How do you do it, Ava? How can you not work? I don’t understand.’ His words weren’t accusatory but pleading, desperate for knowledge, for it to make sense to him, to make sense of his own situation.
Nonetheless, it was exasperating.
Ava shook her head. Perhaps he deserved to know. ‘Jamila was affluent in her own right. Plus, she had access to money, lots of cash. To be honest I didn’t ask too many questions. It was better not to know. But she helped me escape. She gifted me freedom, enough to run, enough to survive temporarily. I was lucky to have a friend like her. And not that it’s any of your business but I had some expensive jewellery and I sold it to make ends meet.’
It reminded Ava that she needed to check on Jamila, particularly now that she’d been found and wasn’t in hiding anymore. She could speak to her friend more freely.
‘Noah, I like my work. I want to work. It’s always been my intention to work and I will return to it. It’s a dream, really, a lifeline. With the location of the fossil, I mean. I have plans, Noah, for the site, for work, for the future.’
‘Plans to turn Bellethorpe into a thriving metropolis?’
‘Is it only because two of the people you loved most in the world didn’t choose the country, that you reject any form of development? Is that it? Because otherwise I don’t understand.’ Then she had another thought. ‘If there had been more on offer here, more opportunities, perhaps they would have stayed? I’m not sure, of course, but it’s possible.’
His face became a patchwork of emotion he worked hard to conceal. ‘The country is the country, you either like it or you don’t.’
‘Oh, c’mon, Noah! I’m a city girl. Do you expect me to leave too?’
Chapter Thirty-One
Ava continued talking, not realising he hadn’t responded.
‘There is nothing wrong with having a great local restaurant, good coffee, a cinema, a shopping complex. Those are part of our modern world and aren’t the remit of only heavily populated towns. You have the monopoly on green rolling pastures, flies, an abundance of animals, bushes, fresh air, magic skies, and room, loads of room. No matter what is constructed in Bellethorpe it will always be special because it has those things that the city can never offer. That is the beauty of this place.’ She spread her arms wide to indicate. ‘Paradise.’
‘And you know what else?’ She kept going. ‘Modern life creates different families. Boring old nuclear families are so passe! These days we have single-parent families, extended families, childless couples, stepfamilies and children living with grandparents and other carers. And what about same-sex parents, too. Anything goes!’
His lips curled towards a smile but just as quickly he dropped it. He’d been living in fear for some time now. It was exhausting worrying about the future with his daughter and of the town. But there was more. This new woman to town, she’d complicated things, reopened old wounds so that they festered, caused hurts to resurface, his failings become so obvious, his fear about everything become heightened. She’d been honest with him; it was time to put it on the line and take a risk. He’d faced the worst already; he could handle more. ‘You will leave, won’t you?’ The words caused the air to still.
Turning swiftly in the chair where she sat, she faced him then, the tables turned, her face expressing shock and surprise. The same emotions he was sure she’d seen on his face during this discussion.
‘Why would you think that?’
‘You’ve said it yourself a few times. There are comforts you want that belong in the city, not here in Bellethorpe. Now that you don’t have to hide in the country, you can live anywhere.’ Noah didn’t breathe through the sentence. But now he kept going. ‘You are an archaeologist. Your work is bigger than this place, more than any fossil you might find in your backyard, your life is bigger than here. Doesn’t matter how much money you channel into this house, it’s still a Queenslander on acres in the country with the smell of cow dung in the air. Your signal will remain patchy and you’ll never get Uber eats.’
‘Lucky I’m not a fan of food delivery, then.’ Pause. The gaze stretching between them was long and vast. ‘What are you afraid of, Noah?’
‘Falling in love with you and you leaving.’
Desire, longing, waves of something fizzed in the air between them. Ava rose to stand in front of him. ‘I never ever wanted to fall in love again. My experience of love was being controlled by someone else, to love them so unconditionally that I lost myself. To have to negotiate how I live my life. And more, for me to love them and then they change. We aren’t so different, you and I, Noah. I understand your pain about Lisa. Unfortunately, people change. My husband changed; he betrayed my trust. I never thought I could trust another man, want to trust another man, that I could believe in them. Then in the little old backwater of Bellethorpe, along came highly principled single dad, Noah Hawthorn. Noah who loves his daughter and life on the land passionately; a man who has firm ideas who runs a successful building business and is good with his hands.’ She smiled, paused then, uncertain. She wanted an affirmation from him. He reached for her hand and held it.
