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‘No one is sure yet.’
He thought his situation with Emily was dire. But how bad would it get for him to act like that? If custody of Emily was ultimately awarded to Lisa, would he want to end his own life? What good would that do because then Emily wouldn’t have a father? But would life be worth living without her? Thinking about it made his heart heavy.
‘Is your group only fathers?’ Ava sipped her wine, the mood now sombre.
‘Fathers have only attended the meetings I’ve been too. I guess mothers are welcome, but the men seem to need the support.’
Ava’s cheeks had turned pink. ‘How is your case going? Any news?’
Noah shook his head. ‘The report interviews have concluded. Luckily, I only had to travel to Brisbane once. The social worker is writing their report apparently. I’m trying not to think about it. Everything hangs on the result. My lawyer says that the judge will follow the recommendation because that person is the expert on knowing what’s best. So, I wait. In the interim, I’m seeing Emily as often as I can.’
Noah was glad Ava didn’t make the usual platitudes that everything would be okay. It was far from the truth. His lawyer had warned him, he had to brace himself for the worst, the cards were stacked against him. He hoped every day for a good result. Surely, the court would see what a great dad he was and how much he loved Emily?
‘I’ll grab the meat from the fridge. I hope you’re okay with another barbeque. My mother dropped around some potato salad, so we’ll have that with our sausages and steak. Back in a tic.’
Ava stood next to him at the grill when he returned. ‘You never mention your parents. Are they still local?’
His stomach clenched and he concentrated on cooking the meat. ‘Yeah, mum is local. Getting on now. She’s lived in Bellethorpe all her life. Done it tough but stuck it out. She does a bit of cleaning work and I help where I can. Lives back over yonder, not far.’ Noah didn’t lift his eyes, he didn’t want to see sympathy or any other expression on Ava’s face.
‘And your dad?’
‘Left when I was five.’
Ava’s glass was empty and he reached for the bottle to refill it. ‘This is wine from Blake’s vineyard, his prize-winning Verdelho. He’s put years into it and now it’s making waves in the industry. Delicious, too.’ Their hands brushed and heat blazed along his arm, radiating to his torso.
‘Blake is new to town, he told me. Made a joke about having to live here for twenty years before being accepted. I think that sounds about right.’
‘No, honestly, it’s a joke. Often cited in the country.’
‘You like Blake. Why, he’s from the city?’
‘He’s making a real go of it. He has long-term plans and is committed to the local community. He’s become a part of us, is a coach of the local footy team, is making the estate something special and now he’s had Adele join him and they make a great team.’
‘But he might leave, too?’
Noah gazed at her then, stared a moment too long. Was she jesting? Making fun of him?
‘I’m just reciting the facts, Ava.’
‘I guess you’re waiting for me to become one of those statistics, too? Gosh, I didn’t realise your level of animosity to newcomers. You must really resent me. First, I take your property and then you must think that I’m here for a good time, not a long time?’
He didn’t reply. Yes, he had thought those things, deep down he probably still did, but things between them had changed. They’d kissed. He was attracted to her and it seemed, no matter what he did, he couldn’t stop those feelings. God damn if he hadn’t fallen for a city chick. Bloody hell, of all the things.
But he wasn’t an idiot. Things had cooled between them, become a little formal. Add in his uncertainty, his doubts with his practical head reluctant to entertain taking a risk on desire and attraction. He got the sense Ava felt the same.
‘What about your father, was he from here? Where did he go?’
‘My father came to Bellethorpe for a twelve-month working contract on one of the cattle properties. It’s quite common now, wasn’t so much back then. The young fellas graduating high school apply to be a stock hand on properties usually out west and experience life on the land.’
‘Sounds like a great program.’
Yeah, maybe.
‘During those twelve months he met my mother, they fell in love and he stayed on. Flittered around between jobs, nothing ever really suited him. He didn’t like the hard yakka of cattle work or farming after a while. Had a few office jobs, milk run, retail. Nothing ever stuck. I was too young to remember much, of course. I couldn’t articulate it back then because of my age, but I understood he was unsettled. Even a kid could sense that.’
‘So, he left. Went to the city, I presume?’
‘Yep.’
