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“Something like that.” Not really. I had every intention of walking here from the conservatory. It’s not all that far, but halfway here, the heavens opened, and I had no choice but to get on a bus.
Andrew wasn’t following me today. After I walked past him outside my flat, I didn’t see him again.
“We might have to find you a raincoat before you send him crazy.” The smirk on his face makes me laugh. He likes the prospect that my stubbornness gets to Henry.
In truth, it makes two of us. I enjoy getting under his skin. Poking the bear has become the most exciting thing in my life. I just wish that he’d poke back. The thought causes me to blush at my unintended innuendo.
“I’ll send up a hot chocolate to warm you up,” he tells me as he continues down the stairs, looking back over his shoulder when he reaches the bottom with a beaming expression.
Today, Hush is busier than I’ve ever seen it. There are suited, important-looking men everywhere and barely dressed girls around them. The sight isn’t all that shocking compared to some of the scenes I’ve seen walking down the street where I live. However, the sounds wafting over the music from the communal room are enough to get my pulse racing. Laugher, moans, and casual conversation bubble around me as I carry on walking up the stairs.
“Here to join us, milady?” A girl stops to look me up and down.
There’s an angry twist to her red-painted lips when I smile instead of replying. From her tone and the way she addressed me, I can tell that she doesn't like me. I’m not sure why since I haven’t spent any time with the staff at Hush. I come in and go up to the red suite, and when my time is done, I leave. Just like Henry instructed me to.
“I’m sorry.” The apology rolls from my lips as she steps in front of me, stopping me from going up the last step.
I’m still on edge from the thunderstorm outside, and a part of me resents my stubbornness for not giving up the ghost and getting in the car with Andrew this morning. I’m wet, cold, and pissed off at myself and the ridiculous British weather.
Today has been a mess of unrelenting thoughts and replays of last night. I’ve never felt so torn within myself. For hours, I debated not coming today, no matter the consequences. But the truth of the matter is that I can’t afford to be jobless. I have rent to pay that barely gets covered by my study grants, along with everything else that I need to keep my head above water.
“You just think you’re so much better, don’t you?” the girl asks, squaring up to me when I try to go around her.
Tucking myself into the wall, I shake my head in reply as she looks down on me. Close up, the woman looks older. There are age lines around her dark eyes that her eyeliner has run into, making them look deeper.
“I-I’m sorry, I—” I try to step back down one step to give myself room to get away.
Given how Henry and I left things yesterday, causing a scene in the middle of the club is not what I want to be doing right now. People are milling around, flitting from room to room. As though we’re invisible, no one looks our way. It’s odd how even in the open view of everyone, we feel so hidden away right now.
“The Duke of Gloucester has himself a lady,” she sings in a mocking tone while taking a deep curtsey. Her stare flashes to mine, as quick as a snake’s bite and just as poisonous. “But you won’t be a lady when he’s done with you. You’ll be like the rest of us.”
“Oh, fuck off, Cat,” a familiar voice groans before the girl that was serving at the memorial dinner appears. “Leave her alone. Go on!”
“You got yourself a new pet, Mary? A pretty little bitch to train?” A disdainful leer paints the woman’s face so that she looks every bit as catty as she sounds. When she steps back, she gives me another top-to-toe scowl before turning to Mary and doing the same. “Suppose you got to keep yourself in their good books. They might drop you otherwise.”
Mary doesn’t respond. Instead, she watches as Cat saunters away with an exaggerated sway of her hips. From behind, her body is completely on show through the translucent fabric of her red robe.
“Don’t worry about that one,” Mary tells me when Cat’s out of sight. “At some point, her pity stay will run out. Maybe that’s why she’s got it in for her. The late Duke kept her here as his little spy. He’s gone now, and you’ve taken her place.”
“I haven—”
“Like I said, don’t worry about Catherine. She’s got something to say to everyone.”
I smile, not sure what to reply. But I can’t help the feeling like I’m on dangerous ground.
“Let me walk you up.” Mary threads her arm with mine. Her perfume is so strong that it burns my lungs, but every time I think I have a chance to put a bit of space between us, she squeezes her arm tighter. “You should come for drinks with us one of these days.”
“I don’t drink.”
A deep laugh bubbles out of her. “Oh God, you better start. It makes all of this a lot easier.” Mary side-glances at me with a wry face. “It can get very touchy on days like today. It’s why Cat’s fretting. They always send off those memos out when they’re about to get new blood in.”
“Memo?” I ask, following her up the second flight of stairs.
“You know, the reminder that we’re to keep our mouths shut or else?” She looks over her shoulder with her brows hitched up high, alluding to the or else. “If information don’t stop being leaked, soon enough, they’ll get the bridles out for a lot more than just play, and if that don’t work, then they’ll turf us out one by one.”
A confused chuckle rumbles in my chest at her exaggerated mannerisms and remark. “A bridle?”
“Oh Lordy,” she laughs, tugging me up the top step before we head up the next flight of stairs side by side. “It’s a popular…toy around here.”
