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However, none of them had prior relationships with their significant others. They’d built something new and fresh as adults. She might not easily fall into old habits, but with Trevor in a traditional alpha male protector role, the pressure to conform could be overwhelming. Demands for service were easy to push back, and so far, Trevor hadn’t done that, even though he hadn’t thought twice about it in high school. With both of their parents as shining examples of old-fashioned relationships where men made decisions while the wives served their every need, it wasn’t surprising. It also wasn’t surprising that the Navy had driven a lot of that out of him.
But her safety utterly depended on him. If he said jump, she did, or she died. And that was terrifying because, once in that habit, she could keep jumping, even after the danger was long over. And Trevor could easily return to old patterns. Despite her earlier gloomy thoughts, she knew Trevor wouldn’t abandon her. He’d protect her with his life; he’d do that for anyone. But the entire situation was a recipe for disaster.
Even if they could rekindle their relationship, the current circumstances were too fraught to even consider it. They were professional colleagues, nothing more. She had to minimize physical contact because her body was the weak link. Trevor’s touch reinforced the haunting memory of their intense connection.
No more helping with her hair, makeup, or clothing. No more sharing a bed; she’d grab the bag and pad from the car and sleep on the floor. She had to draw the line in concrete, not sand.
Signs warned of an upcoming town and highway intersection; they must be entering Tonasket. “Trevor, wake up.”
He sprang upright, his hat falling behind him and his head turning. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. We’re coming to the intersection.” She kept her voice calm, even with her heart speeding at his reaction. “You asked me to wake you, remember?”
He glanced at his watch. “Yeah. Sorry. Job hazard. There’s always something wrong.” He blew out a big breath and put his seat upright, then pulled the map book onto his lap. “Turn right. If we can find a room in Omak, we’ll stop for the night, but it’s harvest season, so I think it will be difficult to find anything cheap. We’ll probably end up camping in the North Cascades, sorry.”
She sighed. At least she’d be in a sleeping bag, not in a bed. Although that hadn’t helped much their first night in a tent together. Even in the same circumstances, the outcome could be different. She’d make sure of it.
Chapter ten
Sam’s fingers clenched the wheel, slowing when she squinted into the setting sun glaring between the tall trees.
He should find a place to stop. There was no reason to risk an accident when they didn’t have a planned destination, and setting up camp was easier in daylight. He peered at the map on his lap. “Let’s stop for the night at Loup Loup Campground. It’s unlikely anyone would find us there, and we’ve got an escape route out the back on a Forest Service road. Although, we could run into early season snow, so it’s a last resort. And if we stop now, we can get a little exercise, although we won’t have showers, sorry.”
“A walk would be perfect. Just something to loosen all the muscles.” At the sign for Loup Loup, Sam put her blinker on and drove the paved road, turning right for the campground rather than continuing to the ski area. Without him asking, she drove the empty campground loop, then an equally empty spur road, and continued on, emerging on the road to the ski bowl. “Good options. Where to?”
“Turn around, and we’ll park near the pit toilet we passed. We don’t need a picnic table, just a clear spot, preferably behind the trees a little.” They’d set up camp, walk, eat in the car, then sleep. Rising early, they’d find a spot with cell phone service and check in. Information from Aviss and Dahl would help them decide between the North Cascades Highway or south through the Okanagan Valley.
She made a three-point turn and bumped along the potholed gravel road, passing the toilet and pulling into a two-track loop partially screened by browning bushes and huge gold larches. “This one?”
“Perfect.” Trevor opened the door and rose, slowed by the tight tendons surrounding his hips. Sitting all day wasn’t good for him. Sam looked almost as stiff, stretching high and swinging her arms, then her legs, one at a time. He glanced at his watch. If they wanted a walk before dark, he’d better set up the tent fast.
He lurched to the back of the car, grabbed the tent, and found a flat spot, kicking branches and pine cones out of the way. By the time he’d set up the tent, Sam had the sleeping pads inflated and the bags out. He placed everything inside and zipped the shelter shut, leaving the tent fly rolled away from the doors on both sides. Locking the car, he checked his weapons, then turned to Sam. “Ready for that walk?”
“Absolutely.” She carried a water bottle in her left hand, and his backup weapon weighed the right side of her jacket down. At least she was taking the threat seriously. He shouldn’t be surprised; she’d seen and experienced the danger with her friends. She wasn’t stupid.
And that meant he was the problem, not Sam. He was the one underestimating her at every turn, believing she was still the subservient wallflower he’d demanded in high school. With help from her parents and his, of course. No excuse for his bad behavior, although certainly a contributing factor. But he had zero excuses since returning to Marcus. It was his pitiful desire to return to a simpler time when everything was clear cut and the decisions were easy. Back then, his ego refused to hear anything but agreement from her and everyone else. He’d been such an immature, arrogant idiot. He thought he’d grown, but falling into his old awful habits had been ridiculously easy.
The setting sun through the golden larches lit Sam with halos of light and shadow. Despite her clothing, she was a goddess of the forest, an empress of temptation, and he was helpless to resist.
But he couldn’t give into his needs, wants, and desires. Sam had told him no, and that was it. Besides, after the lecture he’d given her earlier, he had to remain professional. He might not be a real special agent, but he had to act like one. And that meant hands and mind off the woman and on the job, all the time.
They strode the campground roads, making the loop three times. Trevor was grateful he didn’t have to explain his reluctance to stray far from their vehicle. Escape was their only safety net. When they returned to the car, he unlocked it and stretched. “I’d like to do more, but it’s better if we minimize light usage after dark.”
“Agreed.” She swept into a forward bend.
Trevor turned away, concentrating on his stretches, especially for his hips and legs. He didn’t need the temptation of watching Sam. Besides, staying limber was key to keeping his muscles balanced, which kept his gait even. If he kept up his routine, it was a stable loop, but if he missed days, he’d get weaker and weaker.
After he finished, he poured water into the camping stove, started it, and pulled out the instant soups he’d bought at the grocery earlier. Not a balanced meal, but better than cheap ramen. “Which soup do you want?”
She joined him at the rear of the car. “Any of those are fine. Good choice. It’s a little brisk.” She wrapped her arms around herself.
“Use the coats, or anything else you want, in the car.” After the water boiled, he poured, stirred, and checked the time.
“I’ll wait. We’ll be in toasty sleeping bags soon.” Grabbing a bottle of water, she turned and rested against the rear fender. “It’s pretty here.”
He nodded. “I’ve always liked this area. Too crowded near Leavenworth and Seattle, but beautiful.”
“It reminds me of the areas near St Regis. All the larches turning, and the trails and roads becoming yellow brick roads. If only they could take us to a home without the Russian mob.” She snorted.
