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“It is about sex.” I smirk, hooking my heels behind his thighs and pulling him more firmly against me.
A short grunt escapes his lips as I press my hips into him. “You’re killing me, Soph…” He traces his finger through my hair and then trails it feather-light down my cheek. “It’s also about so much more. I’m still yours tomorrow, no matter what happens. It’s important that you know that.”
I lift my hand from his neck and touch his fingers on my cheek, interlocking them with mine. Bringing them to my lips, I kiss each digit gently before looking at him again. “I know that.” I smile. “But I want this, Kai. I want you. I need you. I think I might spontaneously combust, otherwise.”
His eyes burn dark and impassioned, but he chuckles gently and squeezes my hand. “Well, now, we can’t have that, can we?”
I hold his gaze and slowly shake my head. I know this will change everything. Until now, our entire relationship has hung on the moment I pushed him away in his Long Island hotel room. But, if we make this decision, everything will shift. This is our new moment.
Kai’s chest rises and falls as he studies me. I keep my eyes on him, unwavering, showing him that I’m serious about this too. He leans in and kisses me again, lifting me from the counter in his arms. My legs hold tight around his waist as he carries me through the room, and then he’s lowering me to his bed, following me down in one swift motion. When he breaks our kiss, he takes my hands and pulls me up to sit. He kneels between my legs and hooks his fingers under the hem of my shirt, and then he slowly slides it up my torso, letting the heat of his fingers brush my bare skin ever-so-gently as he goes.
I lift my arms so he can pull it off my head, and once he’s tossed it to the side, he does the same with his, revealing his bare chest, firm and toned, with a smattering of perfect dark hair. I drink him in, running my hand up his arm, across the curve of his bicep, to his shoulder, and then across his chest with the lightest touch.
He watches me patiently as I go, allowing me the moment to admire him. But then he leans in again and his lips find my collarbone, trailing hot kisses all the way down to the swell of my breasts as he pushes me into the bed again. He begins to unbutton my jeans and I lift my hips so he can tug them down my legs and toss them aside next to my shirt. His eyes never leave mine as he does, and they remain steady as he removes his own too, so slowly and measured.
The atmosphere is so different from the one last year. There, we felt the urgency, the time-restraint, and the frenzied exhilaration. Here, we feel the connection and the battle-tested trust. There, we knew nothing about each other. Here, we know everything. This moment is so much sweeter for the history we share.
Kai lays down next to me, propped up on his elbow as he traces his opposite hand down the center of my chest, past the small bit of material that joins the cups of my bra. His fingers continue all the way to the waistband of my underwear, and then back up again, torturously slow.
I roll toward him a bit, placing my palm flat against his chest. His heartbeat is strong and quick beneath my touch. I lift my eyes to his. “Your heart is so fast,” I whisper.
“I can’t help it,” he breathes. “You’re absolutely gorgeous, Sophie. I don’t want to mess this up…”
I trace my fingers through the short dark curls just below his collarbone. “Impossible.”
He smiles, but his eyes are still anxious. “I haven’t let myself feel like this in such a long time. I barely know how to anymore.”
His words, though hesitant, are warm and honest, spoken openly in the safe space between us. I understand his apprehension, and I don’t mind, because it means he cares. I take his hand in mine and squeeze it gently, reassuringly, exactly as he did for me. I guide it to my own chest, placing it above my heart, on the soft swell of my breast.
“I trust you, Kai. Feel me. Feel me like you already know how to.”
In that moment, my words change something in him. The anxiety leaves his eyes, and they turn deep as molasses as he pulls me into him again. His mouth is everywhere all at once, and so are his hands, reaching behind me to unclasp my bra and pulling it off my shoulders. It’s a frenzy of kisses, and touches, and caresses until we’ve lost the rest of our clothes and the rest of our reservations.
I can’t get enough of him, grasping at every inch of his skin. He leaves no part of me untouched either, giving every bit equal attention and sending me spinning into a whirlpool of ecstasy. His fingers are practiced and possessive as they travel between my thighs, just as they were the first time he touched me. Except, this time, I don’t stop him. This time, his name comes in a whisper through my lips, begging him not to stop.
“Sophie…” he sighs against my mouth.
“Please…” It’s all I can manage as the crash of the waves within me is already sending me toward the edge.
His touch retreats just briefly as he reaches into his nightstand drawer to retrieve a condom. He quickly rolls it on and watches me carefully. “This is different…I promise. You aren’t just a conque-”
“I know.” I smirk and touch my fingers to a curl that hangs across his forehead; the same one that always misbehaves. “Please, Kai. I need you.”
He gazes down at me for a long moment, his chest rising and falling heavily. There’s something there in his eyes that I’ve never seen before. I can only describe it as an unsuppressed yearning, not just for my body, but for me. It’s the look I’ve always been searching for, the one that makes me feel wanted, truly and deeply.
He doesn’t speak, but his eyes express every emotion with perfect clarity as he slowly presses into me, changing everything between us in an instant. The slight sting of his entry reminds me of my own innocence, but it also makes the act that much more profound and intimate. Nothing else has had me quite so vulnerable.
He moves slowly at first, deliberately touching the deepest parts of me as he stares into my eyes. He locks his fingers with mine, pressing my hands into the bed as he supports himself above me. My eyes flutter closed at the feel of him, but he leans down to kiss me and says clearly into my lips. “Look at me, Sophie. I want to see you.”
His words, like a gentle command, stir something within me, and I respond at once, opening my eyes and locking them with his. Nothing could have quite prepared me for the exchange; sweet and primal and passionate all at once. His eyes stay trained on mine, watching my every breath and every sigh of pleasure as he moves in me. I’m perfectly bared and exposed to him, and it should terrify me, yet, with Kai, it makes me feel whole.
I cling to him as he picks up his pace and drops his hand between my thighs again. His other grips mine tightly as he lets himself go, revealing himself to me as I have done for him.
Frenzied breaths give way to our shared, guttural release, and he crashes his mouth into mine; open, desperate, and relieved all at once. The world disappears around us and I sigh his name against his lips as he steadies himself. I lift my hands to his back and dig my fingers into the ripple of taut muscles at his shoulders. I’m probably leaving marks, but he doesn’t seem to mind, slowing as we catch our breath. My eyes meet his again and I see my own thoughts reflected in them. The connection, the devotion; it’s all there. A knot forms in my throat, and I squeeze my eyes shut to hold back an embarrassing flood of emotions that threatens to overflow.
“Sophie…” Kai whispers, resting his forehead against mine.
But as hard as I try to hold it in, a tear escapes down my cheek and a sniffle slips through.
