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I shrug. “Trying to get you to question your relationship choices. It’s your life, and that’s absolutely none of my business.”
He’s quiet for a moment before he speaks. “Thank you.”
I bite my lip, trying to hold in my next question, but as it usually happens with me, it still manages to escape. “Why did you leave Maureen the other night? She likes you, you know.”
His body stiffens at my inquiry, and then he runs his hand through his hair, shaking his head. “Ugh, that was a mistake.”
“Why?” I ask, peering at his embarrassed face. “She’d be perfect. You wouldn’t have to see her again after the show ends.”
He drops his hand from his head and glances at me with an ironic smile. “Since when are you giving me advice on my dating style?”
My cheeks burn red as I quickly look down. “No, you’re right. Sorry, again.”
He shakes his head with a smirk. “You are unique, that’s for sure.”
I peer up at him and raise an inquisitive brow.
He smiles. “Always eager to see the good in everyone, even if you detest their life choices.”
I shrug. “I don’t detest your life choices.”
He chuckles this time, leaning back and extending his arms out across the back of the sofa. “Yeah, sure.”
The skepticism is laced in his voice so deeply that I scoff and turn to face him fully. “Really, I don’t. I’m just so stuck in my own ways that I have trouble imagining anyone can think differently than me.”
He looks relaxed finally, sprawled out on the sofa, watching me talk. There’s a twinkle in his eye that I didn’t expect from him tonight. “Your way is probably the right way,” he replies. “So there’s no use in feeling bad about it.”
Hearing him admit such a thing catches me off-guard, and I desperately want to ask him why he can’t just choose the ‘right way’ too. But I manage to stop myself. I look across the sofa at his hand instead. His knuckles are irritated and red. I scoot closer. “Is your hand ok?”
He looks over at it and flexes his fingers, shrugging. “Yeah, it’s fine.”
“Do you want some ice?” I begin to stand up.
He touches my arm to stop me. “No, I’m fine. I promise.”
I sit back down slowly, even closer to him this time as I consider his words. “I want to thank you for something else…”
He watches me with interest.
“For keeping your promise,” I begin. “The one you made at the beginning of all this. I really thought you’d have more trouble keeping it. But I was wrong about you. I’ve actually been more of the problem, myself.” I roll my eyes.
I’m not sure why I’m being so open with him again tonight. Maybe it’s because he just saved me from who knows what kind of horrific evening I might have had. Whatever it is, I like the way it makes me feel.
“I told you I wouldn’t break it,” he replies. “Even if we wanted the same things, I know how important this project is to you. I wouldn’t want to be a distraction.”
I smile. “No, you’ve been great.” Feeling warmer, and more at ease now, I pull the blanket off my shoulders and lay it across my lap, smoothing out the wrinkles. I feel a yawn building in my throat. The evening is catching up with me faster than I expected. I bring my hand to my mouth, muffling it as it escapes. “I don’t really want to stay away from you. Not really. You’ve been a good friend to me.”
The silence that follows has me momentarily questioning if I’ve been too honest, but when Kai finally responds, my heart settles. “I don’t want to stay away from you either. You’re a good friend, Soph.”
There it is again; the reason I trust him so easily. I can reveal the riskier depths of my thoughts and regret saying them immediately, but he’ll follow up with a comforting response and make me feel less alone.
I smile at my blanket, mindlessly tracing random shapes across its fibers. With each movement though, I feel the dull ache in my wrist. I glance back at the door.
“It’s locked.” Kai follows my gaze.
“I know,” I sigh, leaning my head against the back of the sofa, forgetting that his arm is there. When I feel it, we both tense, but I relax and close my eyes, letting its warmth comfort me. It’s firm beneath my head, and I’m reminded of how good it feels when it’s wrapped around me, on and off stage. I wish I could sink into his chest right now, but this will have to do.
We sit like that for quite a while. More than ten minutes at least. I think about Nick. I’m not sure he actually would have taken full advantage of me, but he succeeded in terrifying me enough that I’ve slapped my guard back up, stronger than before. My trust in men is diminishing quickly as I realize how manipulative they can be; even the ones like Nick who claim their only desire is to love.
