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She straightens up in her chair and nods once. “Positive.”
Maya, who’s sitting next to her, chuckles before wrapping her arms around her and pulling her into a hug. Becca smiles and squeezes her back.
“Becca, you’re the best,” Maya says. “I’m so excited to be your sister!”
“Me too!”
I smile at the two of them. Maya’s tipsy, but not as drunk as Becca. They’re both wearing cute white tops with jeans and headbands with veils and matching gold “bride to be” sashes.
“We’re gonna be sisters! Yay!” Becca hollers. “But first! I wanna ride the bull!”
Everyone bursts out laughing.
I chuckle. “Okay, Bec. Let’s go.”
I grab her hand and lead her over to the line for the mechanical bull, which is only a couple of people long. As we wait, Becca turns to me and smiles.
“I’m so happy you and Tyler are together.” Her big blue eyes are bright and tender. But a beat later her smile drops and her eyebrows crash together. “I’m sorry I spent all that time warning you not to date him. I feel so bad about that now that I see how happy you two are together.”
Guilt rams through my chest. I wish I weren’t lying by omission to my best friend by not telling her about our fake relationship setup.
But that guilty feeling throttling me also has to do with the fact that I’ve given Tyler the cold shoulder this past week.
I think back to our hookup in the dressing room and that text he sent afterward.
Text me when you’re free. I want to finish what we started in the dressing room.
I had every intention of texting him back, of asking him to come straight to my place so we could let ourselves go wild…
But then I had brunch with Becca and Maya, and Maya made that comment about keeping the sexy stuff in the bedroom…and that reminded me of just how disastrous my experiences in the bedroom have been with almost every guy I’ve been with.
And then I got so freaked out that Tyler and would have a lackluster time in the bedroom…that I wouldn’t be able to have an orgasm with him again and he’d see just how broken I really was…
I got scared—terrified, actually—and never texted him back.
It’s beyond shitty that I essentially ghosted him…but I can’t tell him the truth.
Hey, Tyler! You going down on me was the single hottest moment of my life, I’ve never come that hard, that quickly with anyone, but historically I’ve had A LOT of trouble having an orgasm with a partner, and I’m freaked out that the next time we do anything together, I’ll get in my head and ruin it for both of us. So I think it’s best if we never do it again. Sound good?
I cringe at just the thought of being that honest with him. He’d never look at me the same way, I’m certain of it.
So yeah, I know that ignoring him is terrible, but somehow in my messed up brain, it’s a better option than ever telling him the truth about myself.
Becca squeezes my hand. I look at her and the worry melts from her face and another sweet smile appears.
“You make Tyler so happy, Tori,” she says. “He looks at you with heart eyes.”
My heartbeat kicks up. Does he really look at me like that?
Before I can think too much about it, we move up the line and it’s Becca’s turn to ride. I help her onto the massive mechanical bull.
I hand her the leather strap. “Hold on tight, okay?”
“Okay!” she says sweetly while smiling.
I run to the outside of the pen and turn around to look at her. She waves at me, then waves past me where our table is, all the way across the bar. Everyone cheers and hollers for her.
“Hold on tight, Bec!” I yell.
