Page 38 of Lost & Found


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“I don’t know, because I wanted to believe that I could be with someone other than…” I close my eyes and swallow the lump that seems to have formed in my throat. I never really admitted out loud that I never wanted to date Liam. I only ever wanted to date Jaxon, Liam was just a placeholder for someone I didn’t think I’d ever see again. But I did genuinely grow feelings for him, I just don’t think they’re of the romantic kind. I probably never would have realized that if Jax hadn’t stormed back into town like the fucking force of thunder he is.

“Liam was kind to me. I’ve struggled through a lot, Jae. You know that.”

“So, you feel like you owe him?” We both know the answer to her question, but I entertain her anyway.

“At first, no.”

“But now?”

“Maybe so, yeah. I just don’t understand why he’d do this if he claims to love me.”

I guess that is one reason why I feel a little bit of betrayal in this situation. You don’t think about being cheated on until it happens and I hate that he would do that to me. But I hate it more that I’m keeping him in a relationship that he clearly isn’t happy in.

“Well, now’s your chance to ask.” She nods up to hint toward Liam who’s walking into the cafe with a group of friends.

Please don’t see me.

Please don’t see me.

I mentally chant to myself, but the please-don’t-see-me Gods weren’t listening.

“Shit,” I whisper as he makes eye contact with me, giving a shy smile that bleeds with guilt. But he probably doesn't know that I know that he’s guilty of something.

“He’s coming over here, Princess. Better word the fuck up,” Jae quips and I want to melt against the leather and puddle away.

I am not prepared for whatever mess this is going to be. I wanted more time to process this situation.

“Hey, baby bear.” I try not to visibly cringe at the nickname he gave me, as Liam leans down and presses a way-too soft kiss on my cheek. Not that I wanted anything more, but it tells me everything I need to know.

He knows that I know.

“Hi.” I smile at him, and he greets Jae with one of his own.

He always did have a great smile. And thinking about how much of a gentle soul he's become is when the sting of betrayal creeps up.Why cheat on me?

“We should get together soon,” he says when he realizes that silence is all I can offer right now.

“Yeah. We should.” Is all I say back, and I can feel the powerful beams of Jaelynn’s scold burn through me from here.

“See you guys around.” He waves before pressing another kiss to my cheek, then walks away.

“Bitch, where the fuck did your balls go? Straight forward, sassy, take no shit. Those balls. Where’d they go? Cuz that was not like you.” Jae sips on her drink with a fairly annoyed look shooting deservingly in my direction.

“I don’t know, Jae. I just….”

“What?” She interrupts me.

“You know Jaxon is back.” I look down at my lap and close my eyes. The feel of his lips and the smell of his smoky amber cologne. God, I hate that he has so much fucking power over me.

“I remember…” She trails off and I know she’s going to press it. I know she wants me to talk about it, we both know my feelings towards Jax. In fact, she’s the only one who’s ever truly known, until that night with Liam.

God, that was so stupid of me to show my emotions and let him in like that. But I needed to talk to someone else, anyone else. I was doing so good those past couple of years; with therapy and working through my mental issues. I let myself be talked into going to one of those parties, the first since in eleven years…and something in me snapped and I got super fucking sad all of a sudden. A trigger as my therapist would call it.

“What’s Jax got to do with Liam being a sleaze?” She pipes up, a cruel smile on her beautiful face.

“Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. He came to me yesterday to tell me that he saw Liam and whoever that was.” I look back over to Liam to see that he and his friends have left. I try to imagine Jax’s expression when he saw Liam doing what he did.

I can’t picture it myself but I hope he felt anger for me, because I don’t feel it.

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