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“That means someone came up the driveway, let’s go.” She jumps out of bed, grabbing the gun that was sitting on the nightstand. I look at her incredulously when she sees me staring. “You never know. Don’t worry, Nathan taught me how to use it.”
I can’t argue with that logic, so I follow her as she jogs to the front door, peeking out the peephole. “It’s Nathan’s truck.” She sets the gun down on the table by the door, looking back through the peephole. “Wait. Jesse’s with him!”
At the sound of his name, my body goes into autopilot, moving past her and throwing the door open. “Jesse,” I cry out, as he steps out of the truck.
“Thea, don’t…” Nathan’s words die in the air before they have a chance to get to me, I’m already flying towards Jesse at full speed. I collide with him, throwing my arms around his neck, and breathing in his scent.
“Ooof… Ouch,” he moans. My body goes still. Oh no. “Hi, baby,” he grunts out.
“What happened?” I pull back enough to take in some of his injuries. He’s bloody and bruised everywhere. My hands flutter over his upper half, not touching anything but wanting to touch everywhere.
“Come on, inside.” Nathan grabs me around the arm, hauling me back toward the cabin. I let him guide me, not able to unglue my eyes from Jesse’s hurt body.
“We’ll give you guys a minute,” Callie says, pulling Nathan back to their room once we’re all inside.
Jesse moves to the couch, wincing as he sits down. He takes a few short breaths, cringing as he does. “What happened?” I ask again.
“I got ambushed. It’s a long story. Come here, please.” He raises his arm, pain registering on his face, but I slide in next to him anyway. I can’t not touch him.
“I was so scared,” I whisper against his chest.
“I know, baby. Me too.” He groans again when he takes a deep breath, needing a couple of seconds to regroup.
“Are you going to be okay? You seem really hurt.”
“I’ll be fine. It’ll heal up in a few days.” He tries to smile, but it falls short. We sit in silence for several minutes.
Never again do I want to see him like this. I can’t stand the thought of him enduring any more pain in his life. Why is it that the toughest battles go to the ones the least deserving of them? Jesse didn’t deserve this and he surely didn’t deserve the childhood he had. I’m so mad at the universe for doing this to him.
“All I could think about was you, Thea. I spent every minute worrying about what would happen to you if I died. I never want to do that to you,” he confesses. “I’m sorry for even putting us in this situation. It was selfish of me to bring you into this life. I shouldn’t have.”
I don’t know if it’s from the stress or the lack of sleep, but my brain is registering that negatively. “What do you mean?”
“I couldn’t focus on my job. I didn’t care about anything but getting home to you. Maybe it’s what almost got me killed. I don’t know.”
I almost got him killed.
He stares blankly towards the wall, sending my heart plummeting. He’s breaking up with me. He doesn’t want this anymore. My stomach fills with lead as if I swallowed it. I can hardly breathe.
I stand up suddenly, needing space after I just begged to be by his side again the last twenty-four hours. On wobbly legs, I back away from the couch, needing to bolt. He looks at me blankly, blinking slowly, but doesn’t speak.
“I’m ready to go home. If you’re telling me that you need time to think about things, about us, then you can do it here. I won’t smother you.” I turn toward the spare room where my stuff is, but pause before I go down the hall. “I’m glad you’re okay,” I admit on trembling lips.
There’s a weight on my chest, slowly suffocating me while I gather my things. After everything that happened, I’m going to lose him regardless.
The walls that were around my heart for so long had crumbled, finally feeling safe enough to love, now it seems to be all for nothing. My eyes burn with unshed tears. I refuse to cry until I get home. He doesn’t get to see me fall apart anymore.
I rap on Nathan’s door. “I’m ready to go home. I’ll be in the truck.” Then I turn and walk back down the hallway, past the living room where Jesse is standing by the couch staring at me, and out the front door. Don’t look back. Don’t. If he’s done with me then I won’t let him see how broken that leaves me.
I throw my bag into the bed of the truck, not a care in my mind if it blows out on the way home. Yanking the backdoor of the truck open, I climb inside intending to slam it shut behind me to let off some steam. Only it stops short, jerking my arm from the handle as it opens back the opposite way.
“Scoot over,” Jesse grumbles at me.
Thrown off guard, I move over to the other seat without a fight but I don’t turn my body in his direction. I can’t. I’m afraid I’ll cry when I look at his face and see what I’m about to lose.
“Thea. Look at me,” he demands sternly, forcing my eyes to his. He looks tired and pissed. “I don’t know what the hell just happened. I don’t know what I said to make you run from me, but dammit, everything hurts and I don’t want to chase you.” He lets out a breath, wincing slightly.
“I will chase you if that’s what it takes, but please don’t make me.” He leans his head back against the headrest, catching his breath. We both glance over toward the cabin when Nathan and Callie make their way towards the truck.
