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“And how do you know that?”
“Because if they had, you wouldn’t be here with me.”
I stare up at him, feeling as if his eyes are looking into my soul.
This can’t be fake.
Every fiber in my body wants to ask him how I’m supposed to ever let another man touch me after the way he has. He traces his tongue around my neck and breasts, my body fully surrendering to him.
Chapter 18
Atlas
One week later…
Stella: Just call me Farmer John!
I laugh at the picture that accompanies her text. A big smile on her face as she stands with a gardening rake, a straw hat, and her overalls. Oliver must have taken the picture. She’s grown very fond of spending time with him out in the gardens.
I type out a flirty message back and hit send with a smile on my face.
Me: Hmmm… can I plow your fields? ;)
My smile fades momentarily, a feeling of unease taking its place when I think about how things have changed between Stella and me in such a short amount of time. I had convinced myself I could handle having her in my space, that I wouldn’t cave to my desires for her. But after that quickly went out the window just a few weeks into our arrangement, now I’m struggling to stay afloat without falling for her.
I run my finger over the image of her on the screen.
You are in love with her.
I pull my hand back as if the photo burned me, an image of Eleanor flashing into my head. A pain shoots through my chest at the thought of her or maybe it’s the thought that I still miss her and I’m trying to fill that void with Stella.
They’re nothing alike and part of me wonders if that’s the appeal of Stella. She’s different than the world I’m in, the world Eleanor comes from. She’s optimistic and fresh, not afraid to speak her mind and enjoy all the silly moments in life. In the last week alone, she’s shown more of herself to me than Eleanor did in the first two years of our relationship.
I stand and walk over to the far window in my office, staring out over Lake Michigan. Something inside me wants to run home to Stella now, to tell her that I’m falling in love with her and I know she’s falling for me too. That we should throw caution to the wind and go for it, actually stay in this marriage for real. But then panic grips my chest at the thought.
Is she in falling for me or is she doing exactly what you told her she needed to do… make the best of this situation and follow the contract?
My stomach curdles at the thought that I’m playing myself. Anyone would fall in love when they’re surrounded by endless luxury, money, and good sex. But what happens when the reality of life sets in and I’m not home every night for dinner like I have been this week? Will she leave like Eleanor did? No warnings, no second chances… just gone.
“Mr. Knight?” Florence’s voice startles me, and I turn around to see her shutting my office door softly after stepping inside.
“Yes, Florence?”
“There’s someone here to see you.”
I glance at my watch. “Unscheduled meeting?” I walk back over to my desk and roll my chair back.
“Something like that. She said she just needs a few moments of your time.”
I pause. “She?” It’s not that uncommon to have business associates drop by unexpectedly for a quick chat, but the look on Florence’s face tells me that’s not what this is.
“It’s Eleanor, sir. Did you want me to send her in?” I stare at her, unsure I heard her correctly. “Sir?”
“Yes, Florence,” I say, “send her in.”
She’s practically floating when she crosses the threshold of my office, her ethereal presence still a commanding one. Everything about Eleanor is appealing. I don’t know if she’s designed herself to be that way but it works.
“Hi, Atlas.” My name still sounds the same on her lips, breathy and sophisticated. Eleanor was raised in the same world as me; she knows how to hold herself, how to remain soft and feminine yet cold and unbothered. It’s a true talent, one my mother also perfected.
