AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I mean that I’m not even sure I ever really wanted a gold medal. I think I’m going to have to do some pretty intensive therapy if I want to find out why one day.” Chandler shook her head at herself.
“You don’t want to win an Olympic medal? Since when?”
“That’s my point, Cat. When I was little, Mom put me in skates. She did the same thing to you. We didn’t have an option. It’s not like she put us in other activities and let us choose what we wanted to pursue, if anything. She just said we were skaters, and we both thought we were skaters. You might be different than me here, but I don’t know if I ever wanted to be a figure skater or if I thought I did because Mom told me to.”
“Where is this coming from?”
“I’m in love with Belle.”
“What?” Catalina asked, eyes wide.
“Belle and me, we liked each other back then. We kissed, and we got caught, so I freaked out, and I joined the girls who were picking on her. I told them she kissed me, but she didn’t. I kissed her because I wanted to. I liked her.” Chandler smiled. “And I still like her. No, I love her, actually. I know her now, and she’s amazing, Cat. If my skating got any better recently, it’s not because of you. No offense. It’s because of her. She makes me want it again. She calms me. She even makes me feel like I can get on the ice solo in a competition and put everything else behind me. I’m in love with her.”
“Oh,” Catalina said. “Well, I guess that makes sense. You two do have chemistry.”
“We do. And when I got the call from Lincoln, she told me to come here. She wants me to have this dream. And I thought I did, too, but I want her more.”
“Wait. You’re together? She likes you, too?”
Chandler nodded with a smile.
“Yeah, we’re together. She told me she was letting me off the hook right now so I could go for this; no pressure from her side. But I want the pressure, Cat. From her, I want the pressure. From this…” Chandler looked around the rink. “Not so much anymore.”
“I’m confused. You’re dating a woman, and she told you to come here, but you don’t want to be here?”
“I really don’t.” Chandler laughed a little. “I’ll skate with Lincoln today because it’s the right thing to do. He called me. And I guess if I have fun and like it, I’ll stick around to see what could be. I owe at least that much to myself after everything. But if it’s not what I want, I don’t want to force myself to do things I don’t want to do anymore. I want to live the life I want now. If Mom is pissed, fine. If she wants to kick me out, tear down the rink, take away my trust fund, the cars, and everything else – she can do that. I have a feeling I’ll be happy in some small-town ice rink with Belle, counting down cash drawers, restocking arcades, and skating with the woman I love whenever I want.”
“That’s what you want for yourself? Manual labor?”
“What do you call this?” Chandler motioned to the ice as she laughed.
“Elegant manual labor?” Cat suggested.
Chandler laughed and said, “I love skating; I do. I know that I love it as an activity. And I can’t even say that I regret Mom pushing me, because I never would’ve met Belle without that, but I don’t know if I want to keep skating at this level anymore. We’ll see. This is all kind of hitting me at once.”
“You’re still going to skate with Lincoln today?”
“Yes. I made a commitment, so I’ll keep it. But, damn, I miss her, Cat. I saw her yesterday, and I miss her. I think I’ve always missed her. Ever since she left the program, I would sit on the bench, missing her, wishing I had been braver. She would’ve left anyway because her mom got sick, but now, I wish I had been there for her through that. She was too young to lose her mom, and I should’ve been there, even as just a friend. I wish so much had been different. But at the same time, I’m so happy we’re here right now. Well, I’d be happier if she were on that ice instead of Lincoln, because I haven’t felt that good in years, even skating with Walker, but I felt amazing on the ice with her.” Chandler touched that spot on her cheek.
Catalina nodded and said, “Skate with him today and see how it goes. If you still want to leave, I’ll book you a flight, and I’ll handle Mom.”
“You’ll handle Mom? Doesn’t she usually handle you?”
“Yes. But I’m going to handle her this time, so if you tell me you’re done, I’ll tell her that. We’ll both probably need to find a new place to live, but I don’t think Dad would let her take the trust funds away. I mean, she’s the reason we both work in figure skating and don’t have a ton of career options outside of it. If she yells, I’ll take it for you. If she still calls you after, I can’t help much with that, but I can recommend the do-not-disturb option on your phone.”
Chandler chuckled and said, “Thanks, Cat.”
“Hey, Chandler. You’re here,” Lincoln said, skating over to her.
“Hey, Lincoln. I’m here, yeah,” she replied.
She just wasn’t sure how long she would be.
CHAPTER 33
Belle had texted Chandler asking her how it had gone with Lincoln, but she hadn’t heard from her since the initial text when Chandler had arrived.
“Well, that was what you asked for, you idiot: no pressure. She’s off the hook. She doesn’t have to text you.”
