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With all the drama of recent weeks, my period was the last thing on my mind, and I’d not been taking my birth control pills regularly. This was basic shit and I’d massively fucked up.
Everything made sense now. My extreme tiredness, my bigger boobs, and the weight gain. It wasn’t Quinn’s fault I was getting curvier. At least not in the way I’d assumed.
Fuck, if I was pregnant, who was the father? Dad would literally freak out. He’d only just gotten over the fact I had three boyfriends.
How on earth would I break the news I was expecting a baby and I had no clue who the father was?
I grabbed my phone from the bedroom and rushed back into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. My fingers were shaking as I dialed Tessa. She answered after a couple of rings.
“Hey girl, thought you’d be busy with the boys?” Her throaty chuckle implied busy was a euphemism for other things.
“Tessa, I…” I could barely say the words out loud.
“Stella, what’s wrong?” All traces of humor vanished. “Has one of them upset you? Do I need to come and rip a dick off? Just say the word and I’ll be there.”
I laughed manically. “It’s worse than that.”
“Jesus, just tell me already!”
“I’m think I’m pregnant.” I said it so quietly, I wasn’t sure she’d heard me. I was kinda hoping she hadn’t. Once this news was out there, I couldn’t take it back. Telling her made it real. I wasn’t sure if I could handle real.
Honestly, I’d make a shit mother. I had no role models - nannies didn’t count. The boys were too young to be fathers. I was too young to be a mom. This was insane.
“Stella, breathe.” Tessa’s calm voice cut through the panic and grounded me. I took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly, counting to five in my head. It helped; I no longer felt quite so light-headed.
“What do I do?” I whispered, even though nobody could hear me in here.
“Have you taken a test?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know you’re pregnant?”
“My period is five weeks overdue.”
Tessa cursed. “Fuck, that’s pretty conclusive. But still, you might not be, so you need to take a test. Go to an all-night pharmacy and buy a test.”
“How? I can’t! I’d have to explain why I needed to go!”
“Look, if you are pregnant, you have to tell them. It’s their baby too. Well, one of theirs.” She laughed slightly hysterically. “Pre-natal appointments are going to be entertaining. Shit, sorry, this isn’t funny!”
“You’re not helping!” I hissed, although, she made a valid point.
Tessa sighed. “I’m being a shit friend. Look, you really need to talk to them and figure out what you want. You know things have changed since Roe vs. Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court. If you decide you don’t want this - and I’m not judging you if that’s the decision you make, fuck knows we women have even fewer rights these days - you can’t hang about. There aren’t many states where women can go these days.”
I didn’t say anything. What could I say? She was right. Time was not on my side. I was potentially seven weeks pregnant, possibly eight. Assuming I was pregnant, of course. At this point, it was all conjecture.
“Are you OK, babe? You know I’m here for you. Anything you need, just ask. I will go with you if you decide you can’t go through with it.”
“Thanks, Tessa, you’re a good friend,” I said. She was my only girlfriend, but I suspected she knew that. I wasn’t good at making female friends. I never had been. Any friends, really.
“You’re welcome. Now go and tell those boys. I reckon they’ll surprise you.”
“You think?”
“They love you, Stella, it’s plain as day. They’ll stand by you no matter what, so trust them with this.”
I huffed my answer, but she heard me.
