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Tasha set down the T-shirt she’d been folding and sat on the edge of her bed facing the screen of her iPad. ‘I need to finish my packing. I’m heading down to Juniper Meadows first thing in the morning. And I already told you I’m not leaving SJW, this is a special project.’
Danni frowned at her through the screen. ‘So you said, but I still don’t understand. Are you on loan to them or something?’
‘Or something.’ Tasha had kept the details deliberately vague because it wasn’t easy to explain, not even to herself sometimes. As her start date at Juniper Meadows had loomed closer, she’d been finding it increasingly uncomfortable to think about how she would have to lie to Rhys and the other members of his family. In the end she’d decided not to think about it. For as long as she was working on the estate, she would do her best and the rest was nothing to do with her. What was the worst that could happen? Simon would make an offer, the Travers family would turn it down and Tasha would go back to SJW and start again on a new project. Whatever the outcome, the estate would be in a stronger position than it was now.
‘The Atkinsons buyout means I’m at a loose end and this came up at short notice. I’m going to help the estate improve their efficiency and do a detailed feasibility study as to whether this could be a new expansion model for the business.’ It was the same story Simon had told her colleagues, and they’d all handled enough of his whims over the years that most had shrugged and gone along with it. Those that had raised questions about it, she’d merely pointed in the direction of Simon’s open door and they’d soon decided they weren’t that interested after all. ‘Don’t look so worried!’ she said to her sister, who was still gazing at her uncertainly. ‘I’m looking forward to working in a different environment, and you know what Simon’s like when he gets an idea in his head.’
Danni pulled a face. ‘I know what he’s like, Tash, that’s what I’m worried about. He tells you to jump and you don’t think twice about it. Look at the way you moved into that flat just because he wanted someone there to snoop on the other residents.’
‘That’s not what I’ve been doing! I was just here to make sure everything ran smoothly. Besides, I like my flat.’ Moving from a house-share in the suburbs into the heart of the city had been an adjustment. But she could walk to the office, and it hadn’t taken long to get used to the sirens and the sounds of late-night revellers enjoying the pubs and clubs. She wasn’t a great one for partying, but she’d made the most of being close to so many great restaurants and was on first-name terms with the Deliveroo guys. Simon had made the right call putting her there; the number of positive testimonials from the residents they’d been able to add to their website spoke for themselves.
‘And now you’re moving to the middle of nowhere on his say-so.’ Danni didn’t sound the least bit mollified by her attempted explanations.
‘I’m moving to the Cotswolds, not the Outer Hebrides!’ Frustrated, Tasha turned her back on the iPad and resumed folding the clothes she’d laid out ready for packing. ‘And I’m trading the flat for a gorgeous lodge set in the middle of the woods. You should see it,’ she said to Danni, warming to the topic as she returned to her seat in front of the screen. ‘It’s got a hot tub on the deck and an old-fashioned roll-top bath! Here. I’ll send you some pictures.’ Tasha grabbed her phone and sent her sister half a dozen of the photos she’d snapped during her walk around with Rhys. ‘It’s like something you see in the weekend lifestyle magazines.’
Danni thumbed through them with a lot less enthusiasm than Tasha had been expecting. ‘It looks lovely.’
‘But?’ Tasha picked up her wine and took a sip. ‘Come on, Danni, tell me what’s bugging you, please.’
Danni took a sip from her own wine, keeping her gaze lowered as she flicked back and forth between the photos again. ‘It really does look amazing, and I’m sure you’ll have a great time there, but when will we see you? You’ll be flat out from the sounds of it, especially at the weekends. Mum’s worried about you. She said you upped and left in the middle of the night after the christening, and she hasn’t heard from you since.’
Ah, so this was the real reason for Danni’s show of concern. ‘It wasn’t the middle of the night. I got up at half-four to beat the traffic and I didn’t want to disturb them.’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘What else did Mum say?’
‘Nothing.’ Danni couldn’t hold her gaze though.
‘Oh my God! Did you know what they were going to suggest?’ The idea that Danni might have betrayed her like that cut to the core.
‘What are you talking about?’ A frown of genuine confusion creased her sister’s brow. ‘She didn’t say anything other than she hadn’t heard from you and I wondered if you were feeling down after the christening. The news about Jonny and Lauren having another baby must have thrown you. It certainly surprised us! I wanted to talk to you about it, but I didn’t know how to broach it so I gave you a bit of space. Then when you do call it’s not to talk about that, it’s to tell me you’re changing your job out of the blue. This isn’t like you, Tasha, you’re not impulsive, especially not about your career.’
Tasha rubbed her eyes before letting her hands drop to her lap as she tried to work out where to start. ‘How many times do I have to tell you that Jonny can do whatever the hell he wants with his life? It wasn’t exactly fun having to stand next to him at the font, but only because I knew it’d give the gossips something to chunter about. He and I were never going to make it, Danni, not in the long run. I could’ve done without the added humiliation of him cheating on me, but I don’t regret us breaking up.’ The only thing she regretted was her family’s seeming inability to get over it as well.
‘Okay, okay.’ Danni held her hands up in a gesture of surrender. ‘I promise I won’t ever mention it again.’
‘And I know it feels a bit sudden, but this work thing is part of a bigger plan, and it’ll all make sense in the end.’ Tasha crossed her fingers out of sight of the screen because she was talking with rather more confidence than she was feeling. Simon had an instinct for a deal though, he had proven it time and time again as he’d clawed his way to the top. He trusted Tasha and she needed to show the same faith in him. ‘I know you’re my sister, but I can’t talk too much about commercially sensitive stuff.’
‘I know. And as long as you’re happy then I’m happy for you.’ Danni’s eyes narrowed slightly. ‘What did you mean before when we were talking about Mum? You said she suggested something to you while you were here.’
Tasha felt her insides twist. Normally she told Danni everything, but this had felt too personal, too hurtful to share. It was as if they’d given up on her, written Tasha off as a failure. ‘They want to give me the same amount of money they gave you and Stu when you were buying your place, only they don’t want me to use it as a deposit. They want me to pay to have my eggs frozen instead.’
Danni burst out laughing. ‘That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! You must’ve misunderstood them.’ Tasha held her sister’s gaze until her laughter sputtered out. ‘No, they couldn’t possibly have…’
Tasha shrugged. ‘And yet they did.’
‘But you’re only twenty-nine.’ Danni shook her head. ‘Not that that’s the point. Whether you decide to have a family or not is up to you.’
Tasha wanted to point out that it was easier said than done. Danni had done everything right in her parents’ eyes. Met the right man, settled down in the perfect imitation of their life, had the prerequisite number of babies. But saying so would hurt her sister and make it seem as though Tasha thought she’d done something wrong when that wasn’t the case at all.
Danni had made the right choices for her, she was just lucky they also happened to be the right choices as far as their parents were concerned. ‘They think it’s time I stopped prioritising my job over everything else.’
‘They didn’t say that, surely?’
‘Not in so many words, perhaps, but Mum made it clear she holds me at least partially responsible for Jonny cheating on me. I neglected him, apparently, so it’s no wonder he sought comfort elsewhere.’ She took a slug of her wine to wash away the bitter taste of the words. ‘And there was me thinking I was working hard to build the best possible future for the two of us.’ Tasha tried to smile as if it didn’t matter and failed.
She’d meant what she’d said about not regretting splitting up with Jonny, but knowing her parents thought she’d brought his behaviour on herself had been a brutal blow. It was that more than their stupid suggestion about freezing her eggs that had kept her awake all night until she hadn’t been able to stand it a moment longer and had fled from their house into the still-dark morning.
‘Oh, Tasha, I’m so sorry! Why didn’t you tell me? Wait till I get my hands on her!’ Danni looked ready to burn down the world for her. The way she had her back made Tasha feel better and she wished she’d spoken to Danni about it earlier instead of letting it fester inside.
‘It’s fine. I mean it’s not, but I’m fine, I promise. They are who they are and it’s time I accepted they aren’t going to change. If Mum and Dad want more grandchildren they’re going to have to wait because I’ll be damned if I give up on what makes me happy just to try and please them. Maybe I’ll meet someone else one day and fall in love. Maybe we’ll even have children together, but that will be because I want to, not because they expect me to.’
