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Shots ring through the air, skimming past us. I feel the skin on my arm tear open as one grazes me.
My brothers and I start firing back while trying to take cover. Alexander’s men panic and shoot wildly. I fire two shots at Alexander, one hitting him in the leg. He slumps to the ground squealing like a wild pig. I stand up amidst the back and forth of bullets to take another shot, this time aiming for his head. I am tired of his games.
A loud shot snaps through the air and a force slams into my chest. I am thrown off my feet, skidding backward across the gravel, and all of the wind is snatched from my lungs. The world spins in and out of focus for a moment and the shouting around me distorts. Then my brother leans over me, yelling. I can’t make out what he is saying.
“Kiril, get up. Get the fuck up!” Fyodor is shouting right at my face. I snap back into focus, biting against the shock of what just happened.
Shots are still being fired back and forth. I lean forward, in immense pain, and fire three shots towards Alexander and his men. I cannot aim properly, though. My hands are shaking and my arm feels heavy. Nonetheless, his men are scattering in all directions. One of my brothers drags me to my feet as I fight for my breath and my chest feels as though it is going to collapse inward.
I hear Alexander screaming, “Get me the fuck out of here, now! Get me the fuck out of here, I’ve been shot!”
I am pulled away from the chaos and gunfire. It follows us as bullets fly into the gravel at our feet and shoot stones into the air. My brothers fire backward as we move towards the car.
“Start the fucking car,” Paval is yelling to the driver.
I am thrown into the backseat and pain shoots through my body. My brothers pile in after me and the bulletproof doors slam shut. Tires screech and the smell of burning rubber fills the air as we scream away from the scene.
Paval grabs the neck of my Kevlar chest plate and pulls my face towards his. “Kiril, are you alright? Did it get through?”
I groan pushing his hand away and slumping back against the car seat. “I don’t think so.”
I pull at the straps on my side, trying to undo the Kevlar. I feel hands against my ribs and when the Kevlar plate slips free, air rushes freely into my lungs. The vest was pushing hard against my chest where the bullet had indented it.
Paval pulls my shirt open and his hand presses against my chest.
“Ow, for fuck’s sake, that hurts.” I try to push him away again.
“No blood. The bullet didn’t get through.” He breathes a sigh of relief.
Maxim squeezes my shoulder. “You really pissed him off, hey?” He chuckles.
“I guess so. Do you think he got the message?”
“We will have to wait and see. He isn’t going to be able to walk for a while. You hit him in the thigh.”
“Do you need to see the doc?” Paval asks me.
“No, just drop me at home. I’ll have my car collected from your place tomorrow.”
“You need stitches in your arm. You got grazed by a bullet.”
“I will sort it out. Just drop me home.”
I rest my head on the car seat and run my hand over my chest. It is going to bruise.
I don’t know who it was who shot me, but they aimed to kill. If I had not been wearing that Kevlar I would be bleeding out right now, perhaps drowning in my own blood. I take a slow breath and feel the air stretch my rib cage open. I am alive. I was so close to dying tonight, yet here I am, alive.
And the first thing I think about when I realize that is Jennifer. My little rabbit.
Life is too short to fight how I feel about her.
What if I had died tonight and never had the chance to truly love her? To show her what she means to me? What if I never had the chance to meet our child? I know my brothers would have made sure she was taken care of. She would have had everything she needed financially. But that is not the same as having everything your heart needs. I have been so focused on taking care of her in the sense of making sure that she is safe that I have not paid any attention to the emotions behind everything.
My own and hers.
I don’t even know what she wants from me, ultimately. I don’t know how she sees me. What she thinks of me. I have never asked her.
And I have never even mentioned how special she is to me. She deserves to know. I could have died tonight, and she would never have known how I feel about her.
