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“I just feel like everything is changing so fast.”
I soften my gaze as much as I can. “Of course, it is. You are my wife. You hold the fate of this organization in your hands just as much as I do.”
As I say the words, it sinks in how true they are. Kat is technically my equal in this marriage. Pretty soon she will start taking on certain responsibilities and it will be expected of her to make some of the tough decisions. Being my wife means she will always have the full force of the organization behind her and a small army of men willing to take a bullet for her. But it also means she will be expected to hold her own and show the kind of strength expected of a Bratva wife. I know she will be able to—she is more than capable—I just wonder how long it is going to take for her to realize and come to terms with all of it.
Kat looks up at me, uncertainty written all over her beautiful face. I wish I could wipe the worry from between her brows with my thumb and tell her she does not have to worry. But I also need her to understand her role in this world.
“Kat, I don’t think you understand you much power you have at your fingertips, how many soldiers are at your disposal. You have the power to create a safe haven for our child, and to squash anyone you see as an enemy. But it also means you will have to make some sacrifices.”
I press a kiss on her forehead. “It will take a while for you to find the right balance, but I have faith in you. I believe you will be a great mother as well as an asset to the organization.”
A small smile touches Kat’s lips, but it disappears just as quickly as her expression turns sad. “I just feel like I have even less freedom than I did in my father’s house,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper.
That one sentence is like a bucket of ice-cold water being dumped over my frame. My limbs go numb, and my heartbeat pounds in my ears. Every doubt I have been pushing down as I have tried to enjoy the last few weeks with Kat comes to a head. This is the very reason we are taught not to let our emotions get the best of us. We were taught from a young age that it is not wise to let yourself develop feelings for a woman. Because at the end of the day, they will ultimately betray you. They will leave you for dead and dance on your grave.
Here I am pouring my heart out to this woman—as much as I am able to—and she is still unhappy. After everything I have done, and everything I have given her. I have tried to make sure she is safe and comfortable, and yet it still seems as though she thinks it is lacking.
I grip Kat’s shoulders and push her back. She stumbles a few steps, looking at me in confusion.
My body vibrates with anger. Anger at myself for letting myself be vulnerable. Anger at her for saying something like that. Anger at the fact that multiple scenarios are now running through my mind, and it means I can’t think straight.
“Does that mean you want to go back there?” I stare her down, my voice loud and domineering. “Back to your father’s house?”
She looks taken aback. “Why would I want to go back to my father?”
“I can’t presume to know what reasoning would make you decide to do something like that,” I scoff. “But what I can tell you is if you do leave, for whatever reason, you will not be able to disappear. No matter where you decide to go, I will not rest until I have found you. I will destroy anything and anyone that stands in my way. And I will drag you back, kicking and screaming, if I need to. You are mine, now and forever.”
Kat’s brows draw together, her lips pressing into a thin line as one of her hands lifts to cover her chest. “Do you honestly think I would do that?” she asks. “That I would abandon you after I promised to love you in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death do us part, not once,” Kat holds up two fingers, “but twice?”
“You never wanted this to begin with,” I counter.
“That might have been true, but that was before I got to know you. That was before I learned the kind of man you are.” Kat steps forward, placing a palm on my chest and bringing her other hand up to my cheek. “I would never leave you, Theo, not even if I had the choice. Because I love you, okay?”
“And you expect me to believe that you’ve simply changed your mind about how you felt when you first got here. That everything is just okay now?”
In my mind, it makes no sense for her to be happy to leave her whole life behind her. Sure, it was not a great life to begin with, but still. To leave everything you know behind to start a life with someone you do not even know and who also happens to be the sworn enemy of your father. I find it hard to believe.
Kat drops her hand from my chest. “What I expect,” she says, before pausing as she inhales. “Is that you trust me. The same way I trusted you when you asked me to.”
She is right. I know she is. I asked her to trust me, and she did. I should extend her the same courtesy. But again, I find myself questioning whether all of this can be true, and a large reason for that is the blood running through her veins.
As these thoughts roll through my mind, there is a knock at my office door.
“What?” I bark.
There is a brief pause before Kiril’s head pokes in.
“Is this a bad time?” Kiril asks as his eyes flit between me and Kat.
I look from my brother to Kat. Massaging the space between my eyes, I suck in a deep breath and dip my head to her. “Is it alright if we finish this later?”
Kat’s lips press into a firm line again. She does not say a word to me as she turns and heads out of the office, only pausing to greet Kiril.
Kiril watches Kat leave with raised eyebrows as I take a breath and try to calm myself down. After Kiril closes the office door he turns to me. “Do I even want to know what that was about?” he asks.
After a brief pause, I shake my head. “Not really, no.”
“Right.” Kiril nods his head skeptically as he ambles over and stretches out on the couch.
