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Is it for that very reason that I feel sick to my stomach as I tuck the new note into the back of my drawer out of sight? This is the third note I have received from my father. The first one was concerning enough, but from what my father wrote, it did not seem as though he knew who I had run off with, so I could still believe that it did not carry too much weight. The second and third, however, have really gotten under my skin. According to those, my father now seems privy to exactly who it is that I have been spending my time with, and he is not happy about it. His threats of finding me have morphed into demands now that he knows where I am. Demands that I come back home or risk consequences. He did not give any details about the consequences, but he did not have to. I am well aware of what my father is capable of.
I am also aware of what Theo is capable of, and I have likely not even witnessed or heard of the worst of it. This is why, even though I am sure it must have been the author of the card I received who told my father, I still can’t bring myself to tell Theo. As far as I am aware he still has his men looking into the people he told me about, and I am not sure how much good it would do to tell him the person has contacted my father. I still believe that information would start a war, something we do not have much room for with a baby on the way.
Besides, if Theo saw what my father said, and what threats he made, he would be sure to end his life. Then I would forever know I was responsible for the death of my father. As much as I begrudge the man for how I was raised and how little I seem to mean to him, that is not something I think I could live with. Not because he is my father—heaven only knows he has not done anything to make that title mean a damn thing—but because I am not comfortable being responsible for the loss of any life, no matter how inconsequential.
Knowing that would likely send my father off the deep end for a completely different reason given the world I come from and what is expected of us, but murder is something I could never stomach.
So, I’ve decided not to tell Theo about anything. I just try to enjoy the time I have with him. In the afternoons when he comes home, we share dinner as well as stories. I learn how much Theo cares for his family, and how far he is willing to go to protect them. The more I listen, the harder it gets to stick with my decision to keep my father’s threats from him. Theo has started sharing more and more with me, and it irks me to think I am not giving him the same level of honesty. But then I remember my fear of what could happen if the two families went to war. When I told Theo he should tell my father about us, I meant it. I had thought my idea about us controlling the narrative would work, and it might have, but now that option is no longer viable. Now, no matter how we decide to tell the story, my father will already have his own ideas.
This is why when I receive another message the next day, less than twenty-four hours after the last one, I start to panic. Especially because this one also contains photos with messages on them. There are photos of me in the pool and looking out the second-story window with are you enjoying yourself and I see you scrawled over the bottoms. There are also photos of myself and Theo in various loving positions around the property. The most troubling ones are those of us in the conservatory. Luckily, there do not seem to be any of us in seriously compromising positions, but the messages on those are worse. Is this how you have been passing the time, shanking your responsibilities, and sleeping with the enemy are on them, the writing getting almost illegible and cutting into the material, proof of my father’s anger.
The note must have been written around the same time as the messages on the pictures because that too has deep groves under the letters. My father’s patience is wearing thin, something he’s made evident. In this note, he lists all the different ways I am a disappointment and how I have brought shame to the Patrov name. I can’t fathom why my father would think that information is something that would affect me in any way, especially the part about me making him look bad. The only reason why that was ever something I had cared about was that it would spur him to sell me off to the highest bidder. I doubt my father realizes this, as it would mean he would have had to pay me some kind of attention—something he never did. So, none of that is a possibility anymore.
Unfortunately, he also had more threats and demands. He now demands I come home immediately, or there will be consequences. If my father is to be believed—which he is not—he will spare me any harsh punishments if I leave Theo immediately and come home. I will then share any information I have about the Bratva with him, and I will make it clear to all of his business partners that this whole thing was a ruse, something he cooked up and I executed to gain valuable information about the Dubrovs.
In return, no harm will come to me, and my father will marry me off to one of his younger business partners, one who has not yet had a chance to be fully influenced by the cruel intentions of the older generations. This is sure to mean that the person he has in mind is still very much pliable, and he intends to mold him as he sees fit. My father is not one to pass up an opportunity to gain anything for any reason. Like the notion that he planned for me to get taken by Theo. That would make it seem as though he was the better ally and would probably result in more power.
On the other hand, my father has said that if I do not return home, he is not beyond coming to fetch me. And I believe him, especially since he now knows exactly where to find me. According to him, the consequences of not hurtling my way home would be that he would come to collect me and sell me to one of his sick and twisted acquaintances, who would take me far away from anything I know and likely lock me in a dark room and the only human interaction I would have would be when he comes to play with me. He also promised to kill Theo. But not before torturing him in every cruel, creative way possible.
I am not too sure how well the second half of his threat would work, though. If it were that easy to kill Theo, my father would have done it years ago. My father might have a hard time getting close to him, which means he would have trouble getting rid of him. The backlash from that would also be catastrophic, and my father would make an enemy out of the many powerful people who are loyal to the Dubrovs.
But based on how manic my father’s handwriting gets towards the end of the letter, I am not sure he is thinking clearly. That is what scares me the most. As powerful and seemingly untouchable as the Dubrovs are, if my father is not in his right mind, he may try something without thinking it through and with no regard for the consequences of his actions. He never did take well to someone stealing what was his. If my father gets anywhere near Theo while he is as unhinged as I believe he is by now, it will not end well.
My unborn child will be without a father. And I will be without my lover.
I do not realize how much the latter bothers me until Theo comes home that afternoon, and I pounce on him the second he walks through the door.
He catches me as I jump into his arms. “Whoa, princess. Where’s the fire?”
Wrapping my legs around his taut waist, I grab his face in my hands and slant my mouth over his. His suit jacket abandoned somewhere on the floor, Theo holds my weight with an arm while his other hand comes up to tangle in my hair. I sink into the kiss, letting him carry me over to the sofa where he lays me down and fits himself between my legs. Things do not go much further than that, and I lose track of how long we lie there making out. When he finally pulls back, pushing up on his forearms to hold himself over me, my breath is slow to return to normal.
He looks down at me and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “That was some greeting.”
I try to pull him down for another kiss with no luck. “I missed you.”
Theo chuckles, pressing a kiss to the inside of my wrist. “I missed you too.”
The action is so tender and loving that it knocks me off kilter. This man whom I fell for in one night, then hated when I learned the truth, and now love after getting to know him, is my future. Yes, I love him, something I do not think I have allowed myself to truly feel until now. It is in the way he holds me and the way he looks at me when he thinks I do not notice. How despite everything I learned about his plans for my father and his organization, I also learned about his compassion for those close to him—even though he tries to deny it. Yes, he holds loyalty higher than anything else, but that also means he prides himself on his loyalty to those who earn it.
A hand running down the side of my face brings me back to the moment. “Where did you go just then?” Theo asks, looking concerned.
I plaster on a smile. “Nowhere. Sorry, did you say something?”
The look he gives me tells me he might not believe me, but he does not press the matter.
“I have something to tell you,” he says as he sits back on his heels, pulling me up so I can face him.
“Okay,” I say, my stomach twisting at the thought of what it might be.
Theo holds both of my hands in his, his gaze fixed on where our hands join for the longest time. When he looks up at me, there is uncertainty in his eyes. “I have decided to heed your advice.”
I get lost in his whisky eyes, so it takes me a beat to register what he said. “What? What advice?”
He clears his throat. “It would not be wise for us to continue how we have up until now, waiting for an unknown enemy to decide our fate. I refuse to be exploited by some two-bit wannabe gangster who thinks that using me for their personal gain is a good idea.”
Everything he says makes sense. I said as much the last time we had this discussion, and I am glad that Theo gave some thought to everything I mentioned.
Unfortunately, things have since changed. The package I received now threatens to destroy all the progress Theo and I have made, as well as rip our family apart before it even has a chance to bloom.
