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If Hazel isn’t going to appear out of thin air and tell me that she wants me, then I may as well get drunk.
There is no escaping this addictive feeling I have for her.
She’s mine and it’s about time that she knows it.
Chapter 15 - Hazel
“Are you alright?” Anna sits down at the table, a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Not a ghost.” I tuck my hair behind one ear, wishing that I had brought something with me to tie it back. “There’s just some shit going on with this guy and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“A guy?” She puts the book to the side and leans forward in her seat. “You didn’t tell me that you were dating again. What happened to that whole needing to be single to focus on climbing the career ladder?”
“Well, sometimes things have a way of happening when you least expect them to, I guess.” My cheeks warm as I stall and take a long sip of my caramel latte.
“You’re going to have to tell me everything about this man.”
“Not yet.” I smile over the rim of the mug before taking another sip. I don’t know how much I want to tell her about Nik, but I know that I can’t tell her everything.
I may be putting my life at risk by first sleeping with him and then misleading him, but I’m not going to put her life at risk too.
And I’m certainly not about to tell her that I’m terrified of the man I’m sleeping with.
Anna rolls her eyes, but a smile lets me know that she will be satisfied with whatever I tell her. “Fine. But one of these days, we are going to have to get together with a couple of glasses of wine and talk about this mystery man of yours. In detail.”
She holds her hands almost a foot apart and wiggles her eyebrows. I burst out laughing and shook my head. My whole body feels like it’s on fire as the images of Nik’s cock flashes through my mind.
“For a virgin, you sure are horny.” I nudge her foot with mine under the table. “I will say that he definitely knows what he’s doing with that part of his body. Which makes the relationship between us even more complicated.”
Her eyebrows furrow as she picks at the cardboard collar on her disposable coffee mug. “How so?”
“He’s not exactly the kind of man you imagine being with for the rest of your life. He’s more the type who’s here for a good time, but not for a long time.”
Anna nods, understanding dawning on her face. “And you don’t want that.”
“I thought I did. I mean, at first, I hated him. I thought the world would be a better place if I never had to interact with him again. But then I spent a little more time with him. I saw a side that I’m curious about, but I don’t know if that’s enough to outweigh everything else.”
Anna squeals and puts her elbows on the table, holding her head in her hands. “I love a good enemies-to-lovers drama. So, tell me, why are you trying to fight this then?”
“Because I don’t know if that’s a good idea. He makes me feel like he's breathing life into me. I long for him like I’ve never longed for anyone before. But I’m not sure if it’s all just a game for him.”
“Has he given you any reason to think that it is?”
“Yes and no. That’s the complicated part. I want to believe that there might be more to it, but then I worry that I’m imagining it all because I just want to be with someone.”
“I think it’s more than that.” Anna reaches out, leaning across the table to take my hand and squeeze it. “You know yourself, Hazel. If you think you have feelings for this man, it’s because it’s true. Not because you are desperate for love.”
“I know. I’ve just been in my head about everything. It’s happening quickly and you know that’s not me. I like to take my time.”
Anna’s warm laugh eases some of the nerves. “You have never made a hasty decision in your life. If there is one friend, I don’t have to worry about impulsively jumping into a relationship, it’s you.”
I know it should be a compliment, but it makes me sound boring. Like I have no passion in my life. It sounds like I’m not the kind of woman Nik would want in his life.
I wish that I could tell her more. Make her understand what is going on in my life.
But I can’t. I never can and it’s still the wedge in the middle of our friendship.
Anna leans back in her chair and toys with the ring on her finger. “I’m sure that whatever is going on between the two of you, you’re going to figure it out soon and you’re going to be happier for it.”
