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“I’d do the same for you. It might make me crazy, but we’re all a little mad.”
“Hey! I’m not!” I laugh and immediately feel guilty for being anything other than sad.
He rumbles with laughter, sending vibrations through my body.
“You stalked a mafia boss, kicked him in the balls, stuck a knife into his throat, and killed two men.”
When I press my palm over his mouth, his eyes pierce into mine.
“Okay, okay, no need to continue–”
He licks his lips as I remove my hand,
“I love your crazy. I’m damn proud of every single one of those things. It’s what makes you so perfect. Mine.”
Sitting up, I press my lips against his, and the sensation of his fingers tangling in my hair heightens the intensity. It isn’t our usual hungry and ferocious kiss. This is us, showing each other how much we truly love one another.
I squeeze my legs together. The urge to go to use the toilet is starting to make my lower belly ache. I’ve held off for as long as I can.
In the hospital, the nurse changed the pads for me. I don’t know why, it made everything more real.
Seeing the blood as the loss we’ve had.
“I need to pee.” My voice trails off in a silent plea for his help.
After a few seconds, he rolls out of bed and pulls on his boxers before making his way to my side.
He scoops me up with ease, his strong arms effortlessly carrying me into the bathroom.
“Sit. Keep your eyes on me. Don’t look anywhere else.”
The weight of his actions brings tears to my eyes, their meaning overwhelming. He knew my fear without me even saying a word.
As he pulls down my shorts and panties, his gaze remains fixed on me. I take in a trembling breath and settle onto the cold seat.
I close my eyes and try to relax, ignoring the pain in my stomach as I do.
“You’re okay, angel.”
As he opens the packet of pads, the crinkle of plastic echoes in the room.
My tears free fall down my cheeks. Wiping them with the back of my hand, I sneak a glimpse of him.
This moment is completely raw.
Bending to his knees, I stare into his loving eyes as he swiftly changes me. He hands me one of my cooling wipes, holding onto my fingers before I can take it.
“You are incredible, Zara. Truly.”
I can’t control my sobs, bowing my head to bury my face in my hands.
I don’t feel incredible. I feel useless. I’m a failure.
“Come on, baby.” He rubs small circles on my bare knees.
“I failed, Frankie. I couldn’t do the one job I have as a mother: protect our baby.”
Frankie helps me to my feet and pulls up my shorts for me. I wrap my arms around his waist and press my face into his naked chest, letting his steady heartbeat soothe me.
