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He blew out a harsh breath, rubbing his hand over his jaw. “Seriously? You want to wear a tie with flowers?”
“They’re not flowers. It’s paisley.”
“It’s flowery. You can’t wear that. She’s going to think you’re stuck up.”
“Or,”I snapped, “she’ll think I have excellent taste. What’s not to like about it? It’s gold with blue. That’s fucking awesome.”
“And fucking pretentious,” he snorted.
“You know what? I’m not taking advice from a guy that got married while bleeding out.” I hung up the other two ties and walked over to the floor length mirror, sliding the tie under my collar.
“You know, you wouldn’t have to go out on dates if you had just married Miranda.”
I slowly turned and faced him. “The option was never on the table. See, most people don’t marry someone they’ve only known for twelve hours.”
“Forty-eight.”
“No, twelve. According to your timetable, you married her before you’d known her twelve hours.”
“Ah, I only said that her dad showed up. I haven’t gotten to the part about us getting married yet.”
I scoffed and turned back to finish my tie. “You should have played the field more. Why would you hitch yourself to one wagon like that?”
“Well, as far as I know, you can only hitch yourself to one wagon anyway. It’s not like I could have multiple hitches.”
“Get creative,” I grumbled, finishing the knot. I pulled the tie a little, adjusting here and there to make it just perfect. Then I walked over to my dresser and opened the top drawer where all my tie pins were. Picking the perfect one was easier said than done.
“Just go with silver,” he snapped.
“I can’t. The tie has gold in it. It’ll clash.”
“Your whole outfit clashes,” he retorted. “How do you even work here?”
“How are you even married?” I asked. “Seriously, you’re now related to the cartels, and for the rest of your life, you’re going to be answering to her father.”
He shrugged. “He has to die sometime. And as a cartel kingpin, that’ll probably happen sooner rather than later.”
“You could have chosen any other woman!” I argued. “Why her?”
He thought it over and sighed. “Well, there was this other woman, but we weren’t right for each other. My life was too dangerous for her.”
“The Utah chick? Didn’t she try to kill you?”
He shook his head. “Not her. Although, she would have made the perfect Mrs. FNG. No, this woman was…everything I ever dreamed of.”
“Do yourself a favor. Don’t let your current wife hear you say that.”
“Ah, she already knows about Giselle.”
I was about to put on my shoes when I stopped and looked up at him. “Giselle?”
He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Ah mi.”
“What?”
“She was…magnifico.” He stood in front of me like a statue, his hand raised in the air with his fingers all pinched together. He looked like an idiot.
I was already tired of this conversation. I needed to get out of here and get laid. “Look, I have a date, so…”
