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“I know you can, but you don’t have to.” Rachel didn’t sound reassured.
“I’d better go.” I heard rustling. Claire was probably grabbing her backpack. “I don’t want to be late.”
“Okay, Claire, but hold on a minute. I have something for you.”
Hearing footsteps, I dove back under the covers. Rachel was a shadow in the near darkness, but I could make out her form as she knelt beside the bed. Sliding out one of the boxes beneath it, she withdrew something and exited the bedroom. Curious, I sat up in bed and listened harder.
“Hold out your wrist,” Rachel said.
“Where did you get this?” Claire sounded like she might cry.
“I found it on the driveway, the night that ...” Rachel trailed off, sounding like she might cry too. “I forgot about it until now,” she said in a steadier voice. “But I thought you might want it today. That it might comfort you to wear it and feel like he’s nearby.”
“Thank you,” Claire whispered.
“You’re welcome.” Rachel cleared her throat and asked, “Are you sure you want to wear a bird T-shirt and those red boots on your first day?”
My brows lifted. Claire loved birds like her father had. She was also fiercely committed to being her own person like Daniel, even if it meant standing out. A brave choice at her old school in Lakeside, but a dangerous choice in Southside.
“You’ll stick out, honey,” Rachel pointed out wisely. “Do you want to be teased here like you were in Lakeside?”
My brows raised. I didn’t know Claire was teased.
“Couldn’t you wear something a little more like everyone else?” Rachel sounded cajoling.
“I am who I am, Mom.” Claire was stubborn, and her strong sense of self made me proud.
“I know, it’s just that ...” Rachel seemed to lose her train of thought.
“Just that what?” Claire asked stiffly.
“Southside High isn’t like your private school, or it certainly wasn’t when I went there.” Her tone hardened. “I know you want to be your own unique person. Your dad encouraged you to be, and I agreed with him while we were in Lakeside. Here, I don’t think that’s wise. You’ll probably get beat up.”
“I can take care of myself,” Claire said stubbornly.
“I know you think you can, honey. But the teachers here aren’t going to help you, and the students will harass you unless you have the protection of a faction.”
“What kind of factions?” Claire asked, and I could hear trepidation in her voice.
“Three main ones,” Rachel said. “Athletes, who look after athletes. La Rasa Prima, who look after all in their family. And a group unaffiliated with those two that call themselves losers, or they did in my day.”
“None of those are like me.” Claire sounded less confident than before.
“I know they’re not, but you can try, Claire. Pretend to belong if you have to. We do what’s necessary to get by, not what we want.”
I felt sad hearing her say that. Rachel was resigned to be unhappy. I’d done that for nearly two decades and didn’t want that for my sister or my niece.
“I know you realize that things are different here,” Rachel said. “Dangerous, even. It’s only one year until you graduate. If you keep up your grades, you can get a scholarship and leave all this behind.”
“I can’t think about this right now.” Claire sounded like she was barely holding it together. I imagined that her eyes were dull, her body still, her expression listless.
I heard the front door close. Several minutes later, Rachel shuffled into the bedroom and sat on the end of the bed.
“I know you’re awake,” she said, and I didn’t pretend otherwise. “I’m worried about her.” A sob escaped. “I could use a hug.”
I threw back the covers. Scooting to the end of the bed, I put my arms around her. “It’ll be okay. She’s strong like you and Daniel.”
“She is, but I’m not so sure she’ll be okay.” Rachel leaned her head on my shoulder. “I’m not sure I’ll be sometimes.”
