“Martin’s parents have your daughter,” Barry said, an excellent guess, and shook his head sadly. “That’s why you were with them at their house. You were pregnant when I came to see you, and you sent me away.”
“Yes, I was. And yes, they have sole custody.” I bobbed my head, my tears brimming as all those helpless feelings from that time rushed back. Like then, I felt crushed, like I couldn’t breathe. “It was part of the agreement.”
“You fled to them when you left him. That’s why you didn’t come to me.” Barry’s brows drew together. “You knew they’d shelter you and your baby.”
“I thought they would, knowing what their son did to me. But I was wrong.” I twisted my hands. “I was so stupid, so desperate and naive. They pretended to be kind, but they didn’t care about me at all. Only about taking my daughter from me to preserve their family legacy.”
My shoulders slumping, I trembled as I stood there in front of him, completely open and vulnerable, everything on the table.
“Is that all of it?” he asked gently.
I nodded.
“Then come here, Addy.” His expression softening, he pointed to a spot in front of him.
I went to him without hesitation. He was Barry. My rock, my shelter, where I belonged.
“My brave, sweet one.” He enfolded me in his arms and stroked my back.
“I’m not brave,” I murmured into his chest. “I lost her.”
“You are brave. There are many forms of bravery,con bu?m c?a tôi, and giving up what you held most dear and finding the strength to somehow go on is definitely one of them.”
He tightened his hold, and intensely relieved, I wrapped my arms around his hard waist. He understood. I should have known he would. Pressing my face into his solid chest, I inhaled his woodsy scent and soaked in his warmth. That terrible feeling of helplessness receded.
“Is this the reason I was supposed to stop loving you?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said into his chest.
“Because you were an abused and terrified teenage mother who was forced by people more powerful than you to give up your child?”
“Well, when you say it out loud like that,” I mumbled into his chest, “it doesn’t sound as bad as it feels.”
“Who else knows?” He lifted my chin so he could look at me.
“The manager from Winston’s,” I said. “Teresa. She helped me after the delivery when I just wanted to die. She was a good friend for a long time, but she moved away after I opened the bar. Do you remember her?”
“No.” His arms banded tighter around me. “But I’m glad you had someone to turn to.” He studied me a moment. I could see processing going on behind his compelling eyes. “Does Rachel know?”
“No.”
“You’ve kept this burden alone for seventeen years?” he asked, his eyes wide.
“Yes,” I said softly.
“Oh, Addy.” His gaze turned shiny. “I’m honored that you shared, that you trusted me with your secret.”
“You still love me?” I asked quietly, then held my breath.
“I would love you more if that were possible, but knowing this just confirms to me that you are all the things I know. Loving, caring, and strong. Beautiful on the outside and stunning within.”
He lowered his head and touched his mouth to mine.
“Oh, Barry.” I sighed as he stared down at me. “I love you.”
Something that had always been locked inside my chest loosened by speaking that pure truth with no more secrets between us.
“I love you, Addy.” His expression was soft but firm. “And I promise you right now that we will get your Ella back.”