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At this, he resumed his meal, while I released a heavy sigh.
To my surprise, he wasn’t done with his interrogation, and within a few minutes, the next loaded question came.
“Was the relationship we had in London something of a rebound for you?” he asked, and my entire frame went still.
I was almost afraid to meet his eyes because this question sounded incomplete, and two, I just couldn’t.
I soon found that he wasn’t going to say anymore or elaborate, and so I had to answer the question as plainly and unblemished as it had been asked.
“Maybe.”
“And have you had more since then?” he asked, and I was taken aback, wondering where he could have possibly gotten this idea from. I started to respond but realized that this was quite private, so I didn’t understand why he was asking like this at all.
“No, I have not,” I replied with a smile. I was going to leave things at that, but I couldn’t truly bear not adding some explanation, so I did.
“I didn’t just hop from one guy to the next,” I said, and our gazes met. “I mean, for the record, I got all I needed from you. And now I’m just going to focus on healing.”
“What exactly did you need that you got from me?” he asked, and I almost sighed out loud trying to make my way through this minefield. This was supposed to be a relaxing brunch, but as I looked at him, I wondered why I even thought that was possible. He was purposeful in everything he did, so no, I was not surprised he was suddenly asking me all of these questions. Yes, he was my boss, but now I didn’t want to be the one answering the questions, so I decided to ask one of my own.
“Since we’re being a bit more personal, can I be personal too? I have some questions I want to ask.”
He picked up his glass for a sip of his drink, and then he leaned against the chair in agreement. “Sure.. go ahead.”
“You've been asking me a lot of questions since we sat down,” I said. “That isn’t very usual of you. At first, I thought you wanted to fire me, but since you've said that is not your intention, then I don't know what to think about any of this. It’s a bit disconcerting.”
He stared at me, and my heart began to race in my chest. This was the final leg. Whatever he said now in response would be the baseline, and I could only hope for my sake and Sophie's, it wouldn’t be something crazy.
When he responded and told me in exact terms what his intention was, I was sure that right there on the spot, my heart stopped in my chest.
Chapter 45
Lucien
She looked like she had seen a ghost, and it truly would have been concerning to me if I wasn’t so concerned that she would suddenly pass out.
“Are you alright?” I asked, and she shook her head.
“I-” she began but stopped. “You just-”
It sounded like she was having a stroke, so I calmly repeated what I had just told her. What I had decided on.
“Yes, I think we should continue with our arrangement. I want more days. Maybe even months until we both decide to bring the agreement to an end.”
It took her another long while, but eventually, she responded. “I’m… sorry, I'm quite confused.”
“You don’t have to say yes,” I said. “Your agreement or refusal doesn’t affect our professional relationship in any way. I’m just putting it on the table that if you’d like more… I’d be willing to offer you more.”
She still seemed shocked and I felt the same way. However, there was no going back now. I felt almost compelled at this point to see where all of this would lead. In business, I was used to taking risks but all of it was calculated and based on solid factsand perhaps a pinch of intuition but now it seemed as though the entire sequence of events had flipped. Intuition seemed to be directing me in this case but whether this was accurate or that it was my libido, I couldn’t tell. What I knew for sure at that moment was I couldn’t bear not having her again. There would be consequences of course, but I was more than willing to face them for even one more night of completely losing myself with her.
“What exactly do you mean by more?” she asked.
“I don’t want this in any way to be of any lesser benefit to you than it will be for me, and I know that if we go ahead with a solely sexual agreement, that might be the case in the end. So if that is not something you can or want to do, then I’m willing to offer a relationship.”
She continued to watch me. “Like - an actual relationship?”
I nodded; however, she didn’t seem relieved at all. She seemed thoroughly skeptical, but I remained patient, willing to set things straight as much as was needed for both her and myself. I wasn’t completely clear on the terms, as this was very foreign territory for me, but as long as she was willing to converse with me and work things out, then I would be able to gain clarity.
“It doesn’t…” she started again, and I listened. “It sounds a bit off,” she said, and I cocked my head.
