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“What?” she snapped. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“How am I looking at you?” Cute. She looked extremely cute, because she looked annoyed and started huffing and tugging at her hair. Crossing her arms, she gave me a small shove against the chest. I wasn’t prepared for that first blow or that it would be my final as I fell backward onto the road and into the snow, pulling her with me.
How cliche.
My heart didn’t stop thudding against my chest despite the lack of warmth on my back—I had it on my front, I had her there, lips parted. I tilted my head. “You make me curious, you’re quite aggressive when you feel insecure, aren’t you?”
“I’m not insecure.” She snapped still on me, me still freezing.
I cupped her chin with one gloved hand. “I didn’t know princesses lied. Better be careful or he’ll hear you.”
Her eyes widened. “Who? Who will? Are we being stalked?” She leaned in, her breath close to my face. “Followed? Who’s he?”
I crooked my finger. She came in closer, then brought her face to mine, tilting the side of her face until I whispered. “Santa. You don’t want a lump of coal.”
“Childish.” She pulled away.
I pulled her back against my chest. “Sometimes we need to play even as adults, and you should let someone do something for you. Just like we need to play as adults, we need to be carried. So let me?” I slowly sat up and helped her to her feet. “Let me carry you.”
Nostrils flaring, her brown eyes suddenly looked down at my outstretched hand. “Nobody’s really ever offered to carry me and truly mean it.”
“Their loss.” I held my hand higher to her. “So? What’s the decision? Can I carry you so we don’t freeze to death?” I didn’t tell her I was already hot down to my core from having her on me.
After a few seconds, she slapped her hand into mine. “If I must.”
Oh, you must be all right.
She helped me to my feet, I nearly tripped turning around, and getting on my haunches for her to jump. “Here you go.”
Her jump wasn’t light, and I loved her more for it, aggressive, clingy, her arms wrapped around my neck, nearly choking me to death. “Don’t fall.”
“Wasn’t planning on it.”
Snow started falling even harder, making me nervous as I lifted her up for a third time and gripped her thighs. “I think it’s getting worse.”
No shit. “Nah, I mean, it can always get worse.”
“Optimism is something you lose while being a part of the monarchy.” She shivered against my neck, probably not realizing that her lips kept touching my skin while she talked. It tickled. “You lose all hope because sometimes you don’t get to make decisions for yourself and sometimes you have dark moments just like right now, wait are we going in the right direction?”
My chest tightened. “I’ll always lead you home.”
“This isn’t my home.”
“The right direction then.” I vowed. “I’ll always lead you in the right direction.”
Even if she walked in the opposite, I’d still find a way not to lose her, even if she didn’t know I was helping.
Even if it was Arthur or Fredrick.
It wasn’t even a depressing thought, it was just how I was made, and the minute I landed in the castle two years ago, I saw her fake smiles, her desperation, her anger.
Because why the hell should I be king, when this woman should be queen—could be queen?
Maybe that’s what I’d negotiate. Marriage for a price. I’d do what I did best, charm the pants off of everyone, and she could do what she’d already been doing and rule by my side. If that meant she chose to be with Arthur or Frederick on cold nights like this, I could look away, right? Monarchies have done that for generations with arranged marriages.
I heaved her up one more time just as we cleared the hill. The cabin was Nordic in style, like a small wooden castle. The late king, my father, had built it with his bare hands—his queen by his side. It was their escape, a small hunting cabin under the protection of the stars.
The blue and red paint drawn over the dark wood had faded, just like any sort of memory I would have had of them.
