Page 38 of Lost In Seoul


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“Aw.” Kwan, the main rapper starts to chuckle.

“What?” I ask. “What’s funny?”

“Oh, you.” Kwan responds, taking a shot of tequila. “Feeling yourself suddenly? Didn’t they put you in a pink bow last year… like on purpose?”

“I like pink.” My only response. So lame.

He jerks his head toward me. “You gay man? You ever even touched a girl? No judgement, it’s just good to know where you’re at.”

Okay now he’s being homophobic, I dart toward him only to have Jay of all people pull me back with his hand. “Let’s go for it, but don’t be pissed when your game sucks.”

Suho rolls his eyes while Eric looks between all of us like he was just trying to make friends, when we all know that we will never be friends. None of us will ever be brothers, friends, we’re just label mates and that’s even a stretch. Every label in Korea builds off of successful groups and tries to mimic them to become the next big thing, using the same formula, I wonder how exhausting that must be when you’re the one doing it, because it’s already exhausting being the one experiencing it.

Kai clears his throat. “Let’s play never have I ever… each person gets a shot in front of them, we play only one round so we don’t die from alcohol poisoning, fill the shots halfway, if you haven’t done it you don’t drink, if you have you do, simple, right? Each person gets to say one statement or question.”

Chul’s the first to say something. “Well, that means I get to go first since nobody else has said anything during this extremely comfortable five second silence.”

Kwan speaks up first. “I hate everyone here including my own bandmates.”

“Aw, I feel warm now, in my soul,” Lucas says under his breath. “All right so apparently you are first now, have at it, hater who’s gonna hate.”

Kwan shrugs. “Never have I ever lied to management.”

Lucas looks at me, I look at him, then at Kai and Rae, finally Jay just looks down at his feet while we all silently take a shot.

The other guys just smirk at us.

Okay, perfect, we’re liars.

I hate this game already.

“To be fair,” Rae pipes up. “We didn’t lie to be deceitful but to protect someone.”

“Yes,” Chul nods. “Sex, always use protection.”

I know he’s referencing Lucas and Grace and I want to punch him in the face so bad that my knuckles burn with the need for it, instead I just clench my jaw while Chul goes next. “Never have I ever kissed a guy.”

Everyone looks around while Jay casually like the boss he is just tosses back his shot and shrugs. “What?”

“Was he hot?” Kai just has to ask.

I chuckle under my breath while Jay nods.

Rae just shakes his head like what am I even going to do with these guys and Lucas says nothing, because unlike others there, we know the details more than anyone.

My heart sinks a bit.

This industry is tough.

Peoples insecurity are almost as dangerous as their ego. Insecurity makes people fight, ego makes them win, and in the end, you’re left on one of each side trying to remember why you’re so hell bent on being the one on top when you’re supposed to be partners in an unforgivable world that doesn’t even allow you to cry.

Jay goes next. “Never have I ever skipped practice even while sick.”

Every member of TestME takes a shot, the rest of us basically stand there and peacock a bit.

“Never have I ever,” Eric looks between all of us. “Hooked up with a trainee.”

Jay takes a shot, Rae grumbles something under his breath, takes his shot, followed by Kai, Suho, Ji-Woo, and Kwan.

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