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“A man who can’t make a woman come should always be a little concerned.” Jerry shook her head. “My ex is lucky that he left our marriage with all of his limbs and life.”
I stared at her and then looked over at Kitty. “Should I be concerned about bringing men around you two?”
Kitty shimmied her chest and winked. “Hell yes, but not for that reason.”
“That Caleb was a beauty. I heard from Jonas that he’s an Evers, so he’s also loaded.” Jerry wagged her eyebrows. “Bring him around again and you might lose him. There’s a lot of cougars in this place that would love a rich piece of arm candy.”
“No one’s taking him from me.” I covered my mouth and sat back as I heard the sharp tone to my voice. “Oh, no. I didn’t mean that to sound as possessive and crazy as it did.”
“Oh, hush up and just tell us about the three boyfriends already. Are they all as hot and rich as Caleb?” Leaning closer to me, Kitty wiggled her fingers at me. “I need details.”
“I don’t know how rich Caleb is, but they’re all so gorgeous. Not only that, they’re good men. They’re kind to me and so sweet with Jesse.” I blushed. “And they touched me together last night. That’s all I’m going to say. I will burst into flames if I go into detail, because I already feel like my face is on fire from saying that much.”
“They touched you together.” Kitty tilted her head at me. “Honey, that could mean anything from a healing at a revival to the three of them combing your hair for three hours. At least give me alittledetail.”
“None of them would’ve been shot last night, if you get what I’m saying.” I covered my face in my hands when they just stared at me blankly. “They fingered me!”
“Good lord, Little Kitty! I didn’t know you were a freak. You’re always wearing those Sunday school dresses.” Barb strolled up to us with Brenda hanging on her arm. They were both missing their wigs and Barb had a boob hanging out of her tube top. “I love it. Tell us everything. After the night we had, we need to live vicariously through young sex.”
Brenda motioned for me to move and I hurried to get out of her way so they could sit on the bench. “I’m filing charges against that nutjob, Gary B. He took a Viagra last night and thought he was a young buck again. He couldn’t even find my vagina. He just humped at me for forty minutes and then passed out on top of me.”
“John tried to put it up my butt last night. I hit him with my purse and knocked him out. He’s still sleeping it off on my floor. Or he’s dead. I don’t know.” Barb shook her head. “Then, I go over to Brenda’s room this morning and see she’s pinned under Gary B’s big, hairy ass.”
“Some days I think the party life is getting old.” Brenda sighed and leaned into Barb. “Gary B still had a stiffy this morning. That was interesting.”
Jerry was already struggling to her feet and grabbing her walkie talkie. “If you two murdered two men last night while having sex, I’m putting a ban on your sex life!”
“Enough about these two killers. We already decided that if a man doesn’t make a woman come, he’s put himself in harm’s way.” Kitty rolled her eyes and pointed at me, where I was standing, looking horrified at the possibility of two dead men. “So, they fingered you together? How’s that work?”
I turned to Jerry. “I can’t answer that until someone clarifies that there aren’t dead bodies just lying around here!”
Barb groaned. “God, you young people and your dramatics. I’m sure they’re both fine.”
Jerry held up her walkie talkie and walked a few feet away. “I need a wellness check in the Trashed Twins home.”
“So, you’re sleeping with multiple men at the same time? I’m surprised, but I like it. I spent an entire decade living with two men who loved gobbling me up.” Brenda tipped her face up to the sky and sighed dreamily. “Oh, how I miss the sixties.”
Kitty waved her hand under her nose. “One of you smells like farts.”
“They’re fine.” Jerry pointed at the twins. “You two are on my last nerve.”
“Wait. Why is Little Kitty telling us about her multiple partner sex? Did something exciting happen?” Barb cut her eyes at Kitty. “You’re the one who smells like a fart.”
I turned to Jerry as chaos erupted between the older women. “They don’t give a shit that I’m hooking up with three men at the same time.”
She shook her head and made a face. “Duh. Why would anyone?”
My smile became a permanent feature on my face after that.
41
***Olive***
TerriwatchedmeasI got out of her truck. “You haven’t stopped smiling since I picked you up. I’ve never seen anyone leave that place as happy as you.”
I laughed and held up my hands. “I love those ladies. They really know how to ease a woman’s fears.”
“Bullshit. I’ve seen them create new fears in women and men alike.” She shook her head. “You really found your pack, girl.”
