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“You can always ask me, too,” he mumbled. “Um, any questions you might have. About things. I’ll be happy to answer any.”
I held in a smile. “Thank you, Captain.”
He cleared his throat, composing himself. “I will be out in the barracks and training yards over the next few days, but you can always send a message through the staff. Speaking of,” he said as we stopped in the hall of the north wing to let several people pass. “I’ve scheduled a tour of the Mor for you. After lunch, Thea, our manse’s headmistress, will meet you in the main hall.”
“Oh, thank you. That will be a relief. I knew the manse was big, Demos had said so. But I’m afraid it’s so big that I fear I’ll get lost if I even attempt to walk around on my own.”
“Mmm. I had no idea the Servant had been here before.” His voice held a note of ice, his earlier amicable ease leaving abruptly.
“What do you mean?” We were at the end of the hall now, at the entrance to the main hall.
I saw the pinching of his dark eyebrows, how they made a straight line across his forehead when he was working something out in his mind. Suddenly they resumed their winged position, his brow relaxed.
“I had forgotten. Of course the Servant has been here before.”
Doubt crossed my mind, but I didn’t pursue the subject. It probably didn’t mean anything anyway. It wasn’t just me who had been through so much since the autumn festival; the captain had as well, losing men he had probably known since childhood, men he had led.
I felt a tenderness for him and touched his arm. “You had mentioned a ceremony for your men,” I said, softening my voice. “To honor them. I’d like to be there, if that’s possible.”
Fadon’s black gaze sharpened. “Are you sure you’ll be up for that?”
Swallowing, I nodded, lowering my head. “Like I said this morning. I feel responsible. And I know that, ultimately, I had no control of the events that occurred that night. But I would like to hear who these men were, be witness to their lives.”
He nodded and pressed his hand to mine, which was still on his arm. “They would be honored to have you there, Princess. And thank you.”
I broke his stare and looked ahead. I saw Lysander coming toward us from the main hall. I hastily removed my hand and stepped away from Fadon. In unison, we both walked to greet Lysander.
“Ah. There you are, Sierra.” Lysander’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. He looked tired. His hair was wet from a bath, but he was well-dressed in a brocade vest and a long-sleeved, bellowing white linen shirt. He wore tan breeches and a pair of boots that hugged his calves.
“I came to see if you’d like to go for a ride.” He looked briefly at Fadon “Brother.”
“Ander,” Fadon said. “I will see you at dinner, Princess.”
I looked at the captain, whose lips were tightly pressed. What was this tension between them, I wondered? “Yes. See you then.”
Both Lysander and I watched as Fadon walked off.
“So, are you up for a ride?” Lysander asked.
I turned to him and smiled. “That sounds wonderful. But Fadon has planned a tour for me with the headmistress after lunch.”
“Ah. Well, that can be pushed back, certainly. I’ll go tell her myself, but first I’ll stop by the kitchens and have them pack a basket. We’ll dine outside today, just you and I.”
“All right,” I said, feeling excited. “Let me go to my room and change.”
“Excellent. I’ll meet you back here, say… in thirty minutes?”
I smiled and nodded. “Okay.”
The day was looking up, and I felt like I was on my way to moving forward, like Fadon had suggested earlier. I would make Lucinda proud. I would give this marriage my all.
Chapter 33
Sierra
A glance at the mirror still had the effect of taking me off guard. The changes I found reflected back at me—my hair, my eyes, my face, which had gone from tender youth to womanhood—were startling, and I wondered how long it would take to get used to as I added pins to my braided coronet. I was dressed in appropriate riding attire, feeling my nervousness at the thought of meeting Lysander for a ride.
So far, things were going well. The normalcy of court life was familiar to me and helped me feel more at home, like in Providence. Scheduled, tidy blocks of time, all with a forward purpose. I made a note to spend some time later today writing a letter to my parents. I had no idea how I was going to explain Lucinda’s death, explain the delay in my getting to the Mor. And I had no intention whatsoever of mentioning omega and alpha dynamics or my sexual frenzy with Demos. Everything out of the norm had to be omitted.
