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Feeling despondent, I simply let him hold me like a rag doll. I turned off my mind, my senses, my heart. I was done.
“Let me go. I promise to listen.” My voice sounded deadened. I refused to look at him. I’d hear him out and then go from there.
He released me. We sat there on the ground, in silence, until I couldn’t take it any longer. If we weren’t going to talk, then I was going to fall asleep, and after finally having a real bed after so many weeks without, I had no desire to sleep in the grass.
So I plied him with questions, accepting the answers without any enthusiasm. Thankfully, he didn’t call me out for it. He ran through what had happened during the snowstorm, the cause of it—my scent—and how we arrived here, answering my questions one by one.
“And Lucinda?” I asked next.
“I’m sorry, Sierra. I don’t know what has happened to her.”
“Do the Ongahri know you have me?”
“Yes,” he answered.
“So we’re safe, it’s not as if they are searching for me.”
“You are safe.”
“So, let me make sure I have this right. My Omega blood or whatever, triggered something in the envoy that caused them to lose control. And theirs in turn brought out these… symptoms in me. And it all played out like some kind of circular reaction?”
We were sitting side by side now, me cross-legged, he with his elbows resting on his knees. The afternoon light was shining through the branches, rendering everything around us in buttery beams. Butterflies flew past us every so often, their colors in every shade of the rainbow. I had to admit this place was beyond beautiful. But the beauty was removed from me as I listened to each answer coming from Demos’ mouth.
“In a way, yes,” he replied. “Which would have been… manageable had it not been the circumstances at play that night. The seclusion, the snowstorm, no warning. One omega in close proximity with that many alphas… it was too dangerous.”
“But you knew. You could have told Fadon, not to mention me,” I said without heat. “Why didn’t you tell him?”
He hesitated. “It wasn’t the time or place. My mission is to see you are delivered to Lysander Trajan. Safe and well.”
Delivered. Like I was traded goods.
Weary, I sighed. Did I have the mental energy to ask the next question? Time seemed like it was moving faster, bringing us closer to what lay ahead: us leaving, us parting. I might never get the chance to ask again.
I went ahead.
“So you took me away to some place they couldn’t find me. You kept me safe. But that doesn’t explain us, Demos. You keep making a point of me belonging to Lysander. That doesn’t explain you and me. Everything we did.” A little bit of feeling seeped into the numb bubble I had created around myself. The pain hurt like a bruise, and I shied away from it. “I don’t belong to you, either.”
“You don’t, no.” He spoke softly, and I tried to listen between the words, hoping for some inkling that he was saddened by that fact like I was. But I couldn’t tell. He had always been so hard to read.
“I couldn’t help you, Sierra. My tonics weren’t strong enough. I couldn't stop the trajectory you were on. Had we not done what we… did, you would have surely died. You almost did die. Too many things could have gone wrong. The Omega estrous cycle is a delicate time, what with all the changes your body went through in such a short amount of time, the acceleration, the dehydration. It’s dangerous.”
“So you had sex with me to save my life.”
I heard his intake of breath. After a beat, he spoke.
“Look at me.” He touched my chin. When I did as he asked, my lips were quivering, and my eyes filled with tears.
“What we shared was the most beautiful gift anyone has ever given me and will continue to be so. You honored me, Sierra.” His eyes glanced down to my mouth, and I swallowed, overcome with emotion.
I couldn’t help it, I kissed him. Softly, tenderly. The kiss was chaste but full of feeling. I noticed he wasn’t kissing me back, only letting me touch his lips. It was me, Sierra, kissing him, Servant Demos of Erikos. This man was what I wanted.
No, this man is what your body wanted, what your body needed, someone who happened to be there, a voice said in my head. You don’t even know him, Sierra.
Then my conscience spoke. You belong to another man. You made vows.
Yes, but where is that man? Did he not want me either? I wouldn’t even be in this situation if he had wanted me, I thought bitterly. He should have been the one to help me through this. Why should I be honoring any vow to someone I’d never even met?
That doesn’t matter. All you have now is your word and your pride. Let Demos go.
