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Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait long.
“Our queen tells me that you and the prince will be leaving after the ceremony tomorrow.”
I nodded. “Yes, that’s right.”
“The Ongahri have a multitude of traditions when it comes to marriage.” She smiled. “And one very important one when it comes to an omega and alpha pairing. I have a feeling you haven’t been told the details of what tomorrow will entail.”
My stomach fluttered. I was already nervous enough about tomorrow.
“I wanted to go over it with you,” she continued, “prepare you for it, since I know you aren’t familiar with our ways and, unfortunately, your family isn’t here. A daughter should have her mother at her side at a time like this.”
I felt my eyes start to water. She was more right than she knew. Tomorrow wasn’t just a ceremony but my wedding. The real one, not the little transactional meeting in Father’s study, where I had married, by proxy, Captain Trajan.
“Sierra, if you will allow me, I’d like to play that role for you. I can’t replace a daughter’s mother, but I think she would be thankful knowing you had someone to support you here.”
I held back the tears that threatened to fall. “I would love that. She would love that as well.”
Her smile was sympathetic. “I can imagine how much you miss her. You are brave and strong. I have no doubt you have made her proud. Even though I do not have children of my own, I couldn’t imagine my daughter being in your situation. Leaving home for a strange land among strangers. Learning about who you truly are. You have held up so well, my lady. You should be immensely proud of yourself.”
Looking down at my hands, I let out a shaky breath. “Thank you, Lady Lordes. It has been… hard.”
“Oh, I have no doubt of that, child. I want you to know that Goth Mor Helle welcomes you. This is your new home. Everyone is so happy you are here with us. If there is anything I can help you with, know that I am here. You can trust in my confidence.”
All I could do was nod.
Lady Lordes had a gift, in that she made one want to unburden all their troubles and worries to her. She was inviting me to surrender the heavy weight I had been carrying. I’d love nothing more than to tell her everything, but I knew I could not betray Lysander, nor could I do so to Cornelius, as much as I disliked him. I honestly believed that, through no fault of their own, their love was a real thing. A beautiful misery, but beautiful nonetheless. I couldn’t do that to them. It would be up to them to sever their affair.
But I could tell this woman one burning issue that had been on my mind since Syrus Crossing.
“There is one thing, my lady.” I took a deep breath.
She nodded in encouragement as I continued.
“I am not coming into this marriage a virgin.” My cheeks burned, my stomach clenched. It was shame. Both shame that I was sullied and that I had enjoyed it. Many times. Shame that I had wanted someone over my betrothed. Granted, at the time, I had yet to meet him, but a vow was still a vow.
I risked a look at her. Her expression was full of kindness.
“My estrus was so strong, you see,” I said. “And, as it’s been explained to me, certain measures had to… I, well, had to—” I couldn’t finish.
“Sierra, there’s no need to explain. You had to give yourself to another. I can see your heart is pure, your convictions true. No one faults you for what had to be done in this case. An omega is a powerful creature, more than an ordinary woman. What you are feeling, this guilt, is misplaced. The intention is good, but the reality is you cannot fight nature. Never try. You have nothing to be ashamed of. And neither, truly, does the man who aided you. He chose your survival. You rightly knew what you had to do to survive. Your body led you to exactly what you needed to do, Sierra. An omega cannot go through estrus without being taken. It will kill her. Both of you did the right thing.”
I absorbed her words and believed them. It was me, who I was raised to be, that was unforgiving, not the people here. I needed to stop blaming myself, needed to accept this Omega part of me.
“In addition,” she went on, “the Ongahri don’t hold those same virtuous concepts. Sex is celebrated here. Once you have a mate, have made a commitment, things are a little different, of course. But what you chose to do before that? That is your business and your right. In marriage, Ongahri respect another’s mate, and unfaithfulness isn’t the norm. Being Omega has some additional considerations as well. Which leads to one of the things I wanted to go over with you. Once you’re ready, of course.”
Relief swelled inside me. “Thank you, Lady Lordes. I needed to hear that. I will take your words to heart. I’m ready.”
“Good. After the formal vows have been recited tomorrow, both you and Lysander will start the claiming ceremony. We will be in attendance for that, I’m afraid, but we will allow you a little privacy. I know how alarming that sounds but—”
I couldn’t let her finish. The shock of her words packed a punch. “Are you saying I will be having sex with him, in front of the whole… assembly? Right after the vows?” I was stunned. There must be a misunderstanding.
She leaned forward. “You are Omega, Sierra. You must be claimed and it must be acknowledged by the Ongahri. Your life and welfare depend on it. You must accept him as your mate and that acceptance must be witnessed, it cannot be in secret. Your consent must be given and shown. That you claim him as your choice. An omega has the power in the mating ritual. She must be the one who chooses. Do you understand?”
Orion had mentioned the importance of consent. But… “There has to be a more… private way to do this!”
She shook her head. “I’m afraid there’s not. It is the way it has always been done.”
Gods, how much worse could things get? If this was a general fact, then Lysander knew it too. I figured we’d be alone, out at sea, the first time we’d be intimate. Both of us relaxed, away from the Mor, able to take our time and prepare ourselves for something I knew neither one of us wanted. But we’d do it our way.
