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“You can’t force me to take it back.”
A sensation from deep in my stomach started bubbling upward. The acid fizz crawled up my spine and into my head, causing what felt like an explosion of rage. “Fuck!”
With ninja-like skills I’d never had before, I threw the knife into the wall next to my small refrigerator. The sharp end penetrated so deep into the wood that only the handle showed.
Gawking at what I had just done, I plopped down on the bed. “Shit.” It was such an impossible situation. My bones were screaming that Rosa and I were going full speed on an catastrophic course.
After sucking in a long breath, Rosa gathered enough energy to reach over and grab the hand I had meant to cut, moving it to my knee. “Love is powerful.”
In a rush, I grabbed her hand and held it to my lips. “Please stop this. I need you to be okay.”
She exhaled heavily. “I will be. Always in the end, we all are. I now understand what he meant.”
The devil.
“No.” Her lips didn’t seem to have the energy to move, but she still managed, “My father,” before falling back to sleep.
It’s unnerving to comprehend how not alone we humans are. Sitting on the bed, I peered about, expecting to see some old dude with a staff and mean glare, angry eyes on me for relentlessly fucking his daughter.
No old guy in sight, I looked at the clock on the wall. It was only 7:30AM. We had time before needing to be at Dad’s, so I let her sleep, but I could not help holding onto her again.
Lying on my side next to Rosa, I cradled her limp body to my chest and rested my head over hers. “I hope your father is right, Little Hellion.” I whispered my truth, “I hope you never give up on me.”
It was eerie, but deep down, I sensed she was correct. My spirit was at war. It was like staring at a thick piece of string... Half of it a glowing light, the other half pitch-black nothingness.
Rhea had offered me a balance. Like, the first part of my life was dark, but maybe I could be forgiven if I led the next half righteously.
Then why did I feel like I didn’t have a chance? Like I was staring at a bullseye I didn’t want to hit yet knew my unwanted aim was right on point.
Was Rosa sleeping, worn-to-the-bone, an omen of her failing?
I begged my sleeping divinity, “Please keep fighting for us both.”
What I should’ve done was stay awake and learn to fight for myself. I shouldn’t have fallen to sleep, nothing but fear on my mind. It only fueled the beast… And a nightmare.
Standing on a rain cloud, drops of water flowing upward instead of down, was a male angel, facing away from me. He was wearing a grungy, blue hooded sweatshirt that couldn’t contain his enormous wings that elongated from his spine. From under the cloth, his feathers started off charcoal gray then faded to a lighter gray toward tips I couldn’t see because the wings were wrapped around something he was holding in front of him.
His head leaned forward so far that I couldn’t see the top of his head.
Worn, holey jeans hung on his hips. I couldn’t see if he wore shoes because his feet were within the rain cloud.
Realizing I was also standing in the cloud, I jolted then reached out to grab onto something, but nothing existed.
“You won’t fall,” the male angel told me. Not moving his feet or legs, his body slowly turned to face me. He didn’t lift his head as he added, “At least not here.”
With hands still searching for something to grasp, I studied his wings. Curled around him was the light gray coloring that I could now see faded into white, brighter at the tips. The fading color reminded me of a detergent commercial. A dirty shirt now half clean from the soap.
“Yes, I’m earning my full cleansing,” he agreed.
Annoyed that this stranger was in my head, I sneered, “Do all angels read minds?”
His hooded head began to lift, a chuckle rumbling from under the material. “Of all the answers you wish to receive, that is the question you ask?”
Then I saw his face.
It was the bastard who had fucked my Little Hellion.
Wiping rising raindrops from my eyes, anger set fire inside me. “What fucking question do you recommend, asshole?”
