AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Mammy was calmer and still holding my hand, but I sensed nothing would be the same. An explosion of awareness now owned me. So many questions were racing through me that it felt like stepping out of a dark tunnel and into a windstorm of razorblades. Every ounce of newfound knowledge sliced me with its sharp edges.
Mammy whispered, “Breathe.”
For the very first time, I hadn’t followed her lead. I wasn’t breathing, even though she was. That caused me such mounting alarm that I immediately opened my mouth and sucked in air, instinctively not wanting our blended souls to part. I knew that if they did, it would cause a physical reaction that I couldn’t survive. A baby deer doesn’t need to comprehend the danger of a wolf to know he’s a threat.
She just does.
As I now did.
After witnessing my mother being forced to listen to my father do something so horrendous it took her to her knees, I now knew there was a wolf nearby. So, like the baby deer whose mother had hidden her in tall grass, I shadowed my mother’s every next move. She was the tall blades of grass I needed to shield me—keep me safe.
As she sat upright, I sat up. As fear exuded from her spirit, it exuded from mine. As she jumped to her feet with an expression full of determination, I followed…
Me on her tail, Mammy feverishly reached under the bed and yanked out a colorful rope that I had never seen before. It was made of many of the old clothes I had grown out of. It was created from all different sizes, as if she had kept one item from each of my growth spurts.
In shock, I covered my mouth because Mammy had lied to Eejit-Da. All these years when he brought bigger clothes for me, to exchange for the ones too small, asking every time if that was all of them, she’d been planning.
Carrying the handmade rope, she scurried to the window, constantly eyeing the bedroom door. I was flabbergasted when she reached over the top of the window frame and retrieved a flat piece of metal that looked like the sharper end of a butter knife. Still peering over her shoulder periodically, she slipped the metal under each of the three nails holding the window shut, removing them with ease, as if she had practiced a million times.
It was becoming clear that when I slept, Mammy had been busy.
I opened my mouth, “Ma—” but that’s all I got out before she turned to me with wild eyes.
We usually spoke softly due to the ‘rules,’ but Mammy was now whispering so quietly, I strained to hear her. “Elleora.” Strands of her blonde hair lifted into the air between us as she nervously spoke. “I need you to promise, no matter what happens, and I mean no matter what, you won’t make a sound.” She held my face tightly. “Do you understand?”
I could barely hear myself whisper over my pounding heart. “Y-Yes.”
She let go of my face, grabbed my hand, then placed it on the glass. “It’s time to crack on.”
It was time to go.
I swallowed. I was to leave all that I knew and step into a world I’d never experienced.
Can you imagine what that thought does to an isolated child who knows nothing but four walls and one person, for a decade? Imagine the damage an earthquake would cause to the only ground you have ever stood on, without even understanding what an earthquake was.
I looked out the closed window, finally noticing rain dancing on the porch’s roof. I was expected, for the first time, to step out and feel water that hadn’t come from a bottle or out of a showerhead.
Wincing at the creaking sounds, Mammy slowly opened the window for the very first time.
I had to cover my mouth because my gasp was so audible and I was breaking a promise by making a peep, but this was inexplicable. The night air, mixed with raindrops, smelled… vibrant—alive. The hand covering my mouth dropped as my lungs inhaled the delightfully fresh scent, so different from what I now realized to be our stale-smelling bedroom. But I didn’t have much time to enjoy it. After Mammy tied one end of the rope around our little refrigerator, she threw the other end outside and over the edge of the roof. She then crawled through the window, telling herself, “I should have kept the jewelry for money—” She jolted, remembering the cost of such monetary treasures.
Half in and half out of the window, her dominant left hand holding the rope, and rain pelting her, she still dared to pause and affectionately touch my face with her right one. As much as that night was spinning out of control, it was a glorious moment in time. The mother that had always been and would continue to be my inspiration was present again. Her eyes glowed with adoration, which gave me the courage to follow her… into a world that now frightened me.
Crawling out the window, I was shocked by how the slanted roof felt. The shingles were harsh on my bare feet that had only ever felt carpet and a ceramic tub. The angle of the slanted roof forced me to lean forward, toward the house, tightening my grip on the windowsill.
Although I had never been on a playground, innocently learning balance outside of my captivity, instinct told me, “If you fall off this roof, you will be seriously hurt.”
Thus far, the most I had ever journeyed was into the hallway to a bathroom, when allowed a rare bath or shower. That water had been warm. This water, falling from the sky, was cold, sending chills down my already trembling spine.
I sighed internally when feeling the warmth of Mammy’s sturdy hand rest on my back as she whispered, “Take hold of the rope.”
Frightened to let go of the windowsill, I tightened my hold with one hand while daring to grab the taut material to my left. It, too, was wet, totally changing the texture of my old clothing.
She tapped my hip to get my attention, then rubbed while instructing, “Now take a step backward…”
My heart was racing as if I had been dancing, but there was no harmless music in my ears. I was terrified, but did as told, releasing the windowsill. My right hand quickly gripped the rope under my left hand’s hold. With every frightening step I took backward, I felt the silence as there were no sounds of cars. The busy neighborhood was now sleeping. All I heard was Mammy gasping in distress as she slowly backed us toward the edge.
Fear was consuming me, but then I noticed a marvelous sight. Peering over my shoulder, there were green leaves and branches, so close that only the sound of the bedroom door opening could distract me.
