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Rowan sat back down, their gaze fixed on the screen, now dark. "I wish things were different. I wish you were... here, with me."
"Me too," I said, the words barely a sigh. The room felt colder, the distance between us more profound than ever.
We sat in silence for a long time, lost in our thoughts. The weight of our situation, the impossibility of our relationship, hung heavily in the air.
"Maybe we're chasing the impossible," Rowan finally said, their voice barely above a whisper.
"Maybe," I admitted. "But isn't it worth chasing? Even if we never catch it?"
Rowan looked up, a sad smile on their lips. "Yeah, it's worth it. You're worth it."
I wanted to reach out, to touch their hand, to give them some semblance of comfort. But all I could offer were words, hollow echoes in the vastness of our divide.
"We'll keep looking, Rowan. We'll find a way," I promised, even as doubt gnawed at me.
"Yeah, we will," Rowan agreed, but their voice lacked conviction.
The rest of the night passed in a blur of quiet contemplation and shared silence. As Rowan eventually drifted off to sleep, I remained by their side, a guardian of their dreams, a specter of their reality.
Chapter Ten - Rowan
After a long, draining day at work, my mind kept drifting back to Rayze and our impossible situation. On a whim, I decided to stop by an occult shop on my way home, clinging to the hope of finding something – anything – that might help us.
The shop was a cramped, cluttered space, shelves overflowing with books, candles, incense, and an array of crystals. The air was thick with the scent of herbs and a hint of something more mystical. I browsed aimlessly at first, my fingers trailing over the spines of ancient books and the smooth surfaces of various crystals.
"Looking for anything in particular?" the shopkeeper asked, emerging from behind a stack of dusty tomes. He was an older man, with a long beard and eyes that seemed to hold centuries of secrets.
"I'm not sure," I admitted. "I'm dealing with a... unique situation."
He raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Oh? Do tell."
I hesitated, unsure how much to reveal. "It's about a ghost. I'm trying to find a way to... I don't know, be closer to him."
The shopkeeper nodded, understanding dawning in his eyes. "Ah, a spectral love. Tricky business, that."
I let out a short laugh, more out of nervousness than amusement. "You could say that."
He guided me through the shop, showing me various items – incense that claimed to enhance spiritual connections, crystals said to amplify psychic energy. I bought a few out of desperation more than belief.
"What about making a ghost... live again?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
The shopkeeper sighed, shaking his head. "There are legends, of course. Tales of necromancy and resurrection. But nothing I would recommend. The dead have their own paths to walk."
I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. "And what about setting a ghost free? Helping them move on?"
"That, I can help with." He showed me a selection of items – candles for rituals, herbs for cleansing. "These can aid in releasing a spirit, helping them find peace."
I purchased a few of the items, a heavy feeling in my heart. Was I really considering this? Helping Rayze move on, when all I wanted was to be with him?
On my way home, the bag of items felt like a weight in my hand. I was torn between wanting to cling to Rayze and knowing that, maybe, the kindest thing would be to let him go.
Arriving at my apartment, I found Rayze waiting for me, his form flickering in the dim light.
"Hey," I said softly, holding up the bag. "I went to an occult shop. Thought I might find something to help us."
Rayze's expression, as much as a ghost could have one, was curious. "And? Did you find anything?"
I hesitated, then decided to be honest. "Only things to help you move on. Nothing about making a ghost live again."
