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He pushes his hand through his hair, eyes distant. “He didn’t even know who I was. I just saw red, beat the fuck out of him. I didn’t mention it to Mum, didn’t want to upset her.” Of course he wouldn’t recognise Alek. Last thing we heard was that he was living in Newcastle. He never bothered with us after he left, not that we wanted anything to do with him but, he never even sent a Christmas card. That was nineteen years ago.
“I’m so sorry I’m not there.” I sigh, guilt tightening my stomach. “We’ve got to let this go, Alek. He’s never going to be in our lives, not like you want him to. He’s in the past, we have to leave him there.”
“I know.” His tone is flat, laced with the disappointment I know he's trying to hide. I hate that I'm not with him right now. We’ve always said we are each other’s strength and I feel guilty for leaving him but I can’t live for my brother. I’ve got to do my own thing, and so does he. He doesn't need me hanging around him all the time, we both need to spread our wings.
“I wish you could come visit. You’d love it here, I know it.” I say as I look down on the quiet street below. Even quiet it still has a certain buzz to it.
“Yeah, me too. But unfortunately, I no longer have a passport, so no holidays for me until my court date.” He’s trying to keep it light but his situation is anything but. He could be facing twenty years.
My stomach twists. “Have they set a date yet?”
“No, but my lawyer seems to think September.”
A heaviness settles through the phone and I nod, wrapping my free arm around myself. “I’ll be back for the whole thing.”
He opens his mouth but closes it, obviously thinking better of what he was about to say. “It will be okay.” He promises. He doesn't seem so convinced but it's all we've got right now.
“I know it will.” I agree solemnly because whatever happens, we’ll take it in our stride. However hard.
He tilts his chin up. “Tom keeps asking about you. I've had to have a word that it's your business and I’m not getting involved.”
Did I mention my ex-boyfriend and the sole reason why I'm put off men for life is also my brother's best friend? Yep. Really knocked it out of the park with that one. Alek has no idea what went down between me and Tom. I didn't want to cause him any added stress as I practically ran away to New York the day after Aleksy got released on investigation. Safe to say it was a shit show of a week.
I bite the inside of my cheek. “I told you how I feel about it, I’m done with him. I'll never go near him again, not after what he did to you.”
He widens his eyes uncomfortably. “Yeah anyway moving swiftly on, what else is new? How's the car?”
I take the hint and I groan, rolling my head back. “She's the love of my life.”
He laughs, the mood finally lightens. “Decided on a name yet?” It's a thing we've always done. We name every single one of our cars. Our mum started it when she got her first car after our dad left. He never allowed her to take her test and get a licence let alone have a car of her own. It was a beat-up old Renault, we called her Jean Grey because you guessed it. It was grey. We were eight at the time and absolutely obsessed with the Marvel comics so the names were always female and always superhero-related.
“I was thinking Storm? I’m not sure.” I say.
He scrunches up his nose in thought. “See, I was thinking Scarlett. Like Scarlet Witch, red and black? Match the brake callipers.”
I point a finger at him. “Oh, I like that.” Our love for Marvel never died out. Now instead of the comics, it's more movies and TV shows. We're currently watching The Punisher via Facetime every Wednesday and Sunday.
“Did you see the link to the exhaust I sent you?” He asks, stretching his arm above his head and cracking his neck.
“Yes. It's missing a muffler. Not sure if you realised.” He raises a cocky brow and I laugh. “Neighbours are going to love you.” Me and Alek were always playing around with our cars. We were like the Poundland version of Dominic and Mia Toretto. We've had more accidents than I would care to admit but we’re not going to talk about that. I just loved the way driving made me feel, like the whole world outside the car didn’t matter. We don't race anymore. Haven’t in years. I miss those days, things seemed simpler back then.
Alek still likes to do up cars in his spare time. It's his hobby and he’s fucking good at it too. You should see some of the work he’s done. It’s art.
“Didn't I tell you? They set up a whole welcome home parade for me.” He laughs. He had to move back in with our mum after he was arrested. Part of his release terms meaning he no longer has access to his garage and he's working on cars from the front drive.
Alek taught me everything I know about cars and everything else when I come to think of it. We didn’t have much guidance growing up, my mum was mentally absent for a lot of it. I’m not bashing her, I love her and truly she did the best she could. She had us at eighteen, pretty much on her own. That's tough whichever way you slice it.
I carry on picking at the rust on the metal grate beneath me. “James managed to secure a set at a big club downtown. Me and Hannah are going tomorrow night, it should be good. It’s his first big show.”
“I know, she told me.” He sighs.
I pause my picking of the grate to frown at him. “What do you mean she told you? You spoke to her?”
He nods. “She rang me the other night, she’d had a drink.” He says this like it's a totally normal occurrence.
“What else did she say?”
He shrugs. “She misses me. She hates me. The usual.”
