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“The original natives were enchantresses who protected our altars until they were forced to flee,” she explains. “So many others had already perished while we worked tirelessly to keep them safe. We couldn’t save them all. And that is the origin of these fountains. They’re all over the island, protecting the natives from dark influences.”
I sit on the ground and watch her for any kind of reaction. “It’s going to happen again, isn’t it?”
Spiran nods. “War comes with a cost, Ada. Are you prepared for that?”
“I don’t know.” It’s the only truthful answer I can give her. I’m unclear on what the price will be, and I fear there are some things—people—I’m unwilling to sacrifice. “But something has to be done.”
“This is why I chose you,” Spiran murmurs, as if this is her secret to confess. “I knew you would lead the others to do what was necessary. Right and wrong does not exist for a goddess. We are both simultaneously.”
I nod my understanding. “And some of them will die?”
“Yes,” she agrees. “Some will.”
“What about my lovers?” I inquire, fearing the answer more than the question itself. “Are they as invincible as I am?”
Spiran turns to face me for a moment, though I can’t read her expression. “The queen’s reign is meant to be around a thousand years. Their lovers, true lovers, stay with them through that. After they step down and end their dynasty, they are free to live their lives how they choose, but they are no longer limitless in life. Just like the other natives, injuries will kill them. They will begin to age with their peers.”
“And in a thousand years, when I step down as queen and pass my dynasty on to the next, will my true lovers have the same fate?” I ask, repeating my question in a more specific way. “Or will they live with me for as long as I serve as the Water Goddess?”
“I don’t know the answer to this question, and I would rather not make assumptions,” she states. “I haven’t successfully made a goddess until you. After you, I was able to turn the other chosen queens. The previous goddesses didn’t have lovers, so this is new territory. What I have noticed is your lovers seem to carry more power than they did before you arrived.”
I shake my head. “I’m not prepared to lose them if they are the cost of war.”
“I gave you the skills you need to keep them alive,” she informs me. “You simply have to hone them, mold them into what you need as the Water Goddess and the Mongrel Queen. These are the same skills that will help you win the war.”
“What happens after the war?” It doesn’t really matter right now, but I’m curious, and I don’t know when I’ll speak with the goddess of Light again.
“Settle down.” The glow of her shoulders bounces as she shrugs. “Build your dynasty.”
That isn’t enough of an answer, not when I’ve read about Isolde’s struggles. The failed experiment to make Isolde the water goddess is what made her barren. What if the same has happened to me?
Sure, Spiran spent a millennium trying to work the problem out… And she created them the opportunity for children before she picked out new queens and goddesses.
Is the difference that Spiran went into our selection process knowing that she was looking for goddesses, not queens?
Or is there a difference at all?
I’m the first human to handle the water element at the goddess level, and this surprised Isolde… Which makes me wonder if it also surprised Spiran. And was that emotion driven by excitement because she had all the kinks worked out? Or worry because she wasn’t expecting it to happen and she doesn’t have any idea what this means?
“Am I barren like Isolde is?” I blurt after a moment. “I need to know this.”
“Don’t you have a lover with a father from Earth?” she counters, no longer looking at me.
I lean forward and stare at her. “What?”
“He can give you a child. This I know,” she says. “But your other lovers? I do not know. If you wish to have children with them, I will do everything in my power to help, though I cannot make promises to you on this matter.”
“You sound like Isolde.” I huff. “You give me a sufficient answer that answers exactly zero of the things I want to know about.”
“You mean, Isolde sounds like me.” Spiran chuckles, then sighs. “Is Madigan willing to talk to me?”
The way she asks this has me wondering if she’s tried to reach out to Madi before. It’s not something we’ve talked about yet.
Can Madi absorb this conversation with Spiran?
I don’t know. That isn’t my call to make. But I hope she’s ready. She can’t put it off for much longer.
“She needs guidance,” I mention. “Guidance that I can’t give her.” I stand and walk toward the palace entrance, sensing our time is up. “Just send her to the dining hall when you’re done. I’ll be waiting for her.”
