AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Wow, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve said to me in years.” Teddi howled when she threw a pillow at her. After a moment, their laughter settled into silence once more.
She knew Teddi didn't share a part of herself out of expectation, but it made the sensation of words rising inside her chest that much easier to handle. Maybe she could just throw a pebble. Maybe just one little thing to ease the weight off her shoulders.
“I’m on a three-month suspension.” That wasn't a pebble, it was half the fucking mountain.
She wanted to take the words back but the relief of saying them out loud immediately outweighed the desire. Like the first breath of air after being underwater too long, she let it take her over.
When Teddi didn’t say anything, she lifted her head to look at her. “Did you hear me? I’m on a three-month suspension from the FBI.”
“I heard you,” she replied calmly. Her ease and her lack of inquisitiveness wiped away the feelings of relief.
“Don’t you want to know why?”
“Do you want me to know why?”
“Don’t be annoying.” Heat suffused her face.
“Tell me why.” Calm, unnerved by this revelation. It only served to infuriate Vera further.
Sitting up, she mirrored Teddi’s position, pushing her hair back in annoyance.
“I’m pretty sure I won’t have my job when I get back.”
Not a single flash of judgment or expectation. Teddi just stared and it made Vera’s blood begin to boil. She started hurling words out like weapons. “My FBI career is over. Done. El fin.” Her hand cut the air between them like a sword severing the head of her future. Still, Teddi was unmoved. Her gentle but sure gaze just traced Vera from her brows to her cheekbones to her chin.
“What happened?”
The answer came bubbling up like an unattended pot. Months of unspoken truths trying to escape from their prison. “My undercover assignment happened. My commitment to doing the right thing, no matter what it costs me, happened. I fucking happened.” She stabbed her finger into her chest in accusation. Fury burned her from the inside out, blazing across her skin.
Teddi reached forward slowly, taking her hand so it couldn’t self-inflict any more rage. Her hands were cool against the heat pulsing under Vera’s skin. “I believe you. Whatever happened, I believe you.”
The words were a shock. All her rage evaporated in an instant. Vera’s eyes blinked like she was factory reset.
Teddi said it again, her thumbs running across the back of her hand. “I believe you. I believe that whatever you say happened, happened and that you did the best you could given whatever circumstances you were in.”
“You don’t know anything about it.” Her voice was softer than she expected.
“Vera, it may have been ten years but I still know you. I know your soul and I know you’d never lie when it came to your job. You’ve always shot straight, no matter what anyone else does. No matter what it costs you.”
“I can’t help us with this investigation, not officially. And I can’t get help from anyone.”
She didn’t know what else to say, what to do when the shock of Teddi’s acceptance was still sitting uncomfortably next to all that took up residence inside her chest. Indignation. Violation. Rage, at how it had all turned out. Black, boiling, ending rage prowled in that cage of bones waiting to strike.
“I don’t give a shit if you can flash your shiny badge, I want you here with me. I want to be working with you, side by side on this. When you’re ready to tell me about D.C., I’ll still be here. No judgment, no jumping to conclusions. I’m here and I’ve got your back, same as always.”
Her life was a shitstorm and she didn’t feel as if she could be of much help officially, but Teddi’s confidence soothed an edge somewhere. “I want to be here too. I wanted to be here when he disappeared, you know?”
“Why weren’t you?”
Biting her lip, Vera weighed the risk of telling. Parts of the case were in the news, so admitting she was a part of it didn’t hold much risk. “Have you heard of The Unveiled?” Teddi hadn't. “It’s a religious cult that’s been spreading out of the East Coast for the last few years. They’re manufacturing a new hallucinogenic drug, and I got in tight with the leaders, Adrian and his wife, Satine.” She pushed past his name quickly. “I was undercover with them for nearly eight months when Alex disappeared. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was days away from the end of the assignment when I got the call from Ximena. I thought I’d have time to go home, to help her, to help him. Before the dust settled on the op, I got pulled into an internal investigation instead, which ended up with me suspended.” She swallowed over the bitter guilt at the back of her throat. “I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t leave the endless days of debriefings or even D.C. The investigation kept me there, no matter what was happening back home.”
“Shit, Vera. Eight months undercover? Are you… are you alright? I can’t imagine how hard it would be to lie every day for eight months straight, let alone be in a cult.”
Vera huffed. It felt like she’d been lying a hell of a lot longer than that. “It’s over.” The fuller truth hovered nearby but she pretended to not see it.
“I know Mimi’s upset but if you just told her the truth, she'd understand. I figured there was a bigger reason for you not being here. You’d never abandon her for nothing and she knows that.”
Vera tried to accept the words as something true but they bounced off the ire in her mind. It didn’t feel like a good enough reason to have not been there, but even now that Alex was found, now that he was dead, it was all she had.
