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Logan’s grin leaps from the image. His arm is around me on the tiny roof area of The Vatican. We’re surrounded by other tourists, all taking in the breath-taking views of the world surrounding them. But him and I are in our own world. Lost in a bubble, staring at the camera. Glittering green eyes alight with mischief next to brown ones. Brown ones shining with warmth above a small but genuine smile.
A smile I never even felt touch my lips that day.
But it was there anyway. It always has been.
We look like a couple. Except we weren’t. We aren’t. We never will be.
I collect my suitcase and make my way out through customs, catching a cab outside. The driver asks where I want to go, so I tell him in my best Italian, showing him the written name of the place as confirmation. He nods and we drive away.
I sink into the seat as I stare out the window. I haven’t thought this through properly. It was all a whim. I asked Eve for extended leave at the last minute, with the option to work remotely for a while. I don’t know how long it’ll take to do what I’m planning. And I doubt it will work. But I have to try. I can’t stay and watch Logan lose everything. I know I’ve already lost him. He’ll have read the article. He’ll hate me now.
It's for the best.
Things are exactly as they should be.
Who knows, maybe I’ll like working remotely. I’m not the only one at In-Sync who does it. If Eve is happy with my work, then I never need to go back. I can travel to interview people and do everything online. And the agent said they have a cash buyer interested in my apartment. So it’s all working out. This is a good thing.
This is a good thing.
Maybe if I repeat that in my head enough times, I’ll believe it.
My phone rings and I take it from my purse.
“Drew?”
“How was your flight?”
He sounds pissed. He didn’t want me to leave, tried to talk me out of it. He took my suitcase out of the car twice. It was only when I broke down in tears and told him staying would destroy me that he put it back in and drove me to the airport himself.
“It was good,” I say without conviction.
We fall silent. I want to ask him so badly, but I don’t know how or if I should or—
“He knows you’re gone now.” Drew’s voice softens. “I gave him your message.”
“He does?” A sob catches in my throat and my eyes burn. “What did he…? You know what? Don’t tell me.”
“What did you send him, Maddy? I’ve never seen him like this before. He’s…” Drew curses softly and my heart tears in two.
“Something he had to see,” I croak.
“Well, whatever it was, you need to speak to him. He went to see Spencer with Gabrielle. The three of them talked for hours. Things have happened that you don’t know about, Maddy. If only you’d fucking stayed.” He sighs, and the weight in his words has my heart clenching painfully in my chest.
They’re moving on.
“They’ll be happy, won’t they?” I sniff, needing to hear it. Needing confirmation that this feeling of complete despair I have isn’t for nothing.
Drew clears his throat, his voice coming out hoarse. “Logan said Spencer’s the happiest he’s ever seen him. Over the fucking moon about it all.”
“Oh.” My voice is tiny, stripped of all its strength.
I left all my strength in London.
“I need to go, we’re almost there,” I murmur, looking out of the cab’s window.
“Wait, Maddy. You need to speak to Logan—”
I squeeze my eyes shut, my chest tightening painfully. “I don’t. Everything he needs to know was in my email.”
