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“Crusher was tasked with tying me up. I fought back with everything I had, of course, but it wasn’t enough. I was only human, after all. Once Chains had oh-so-delicately explained their business arrangement with Dear Old Uncle Vick, and Crusher had landed a few kicks and punches for good measure, Venom threw me in the back of their van.”
“They can’t get you now,” my giant of a mate rumbled.
Even though I knew he couldn’t make that promise—anymore than Grimm—it calmed something in me to hear the conviction in his voice. I wasn’t stuck in that awful, lonely life anymore. I had people who would take care of me. Who cared not just about my existence, but my happiness, too. Hell, I had learned to take care of me. To demand more than the bare fucking minimum necessary to survive.
All I’d ever wanted since my parents had died was to get my family back. To have someone to love who loved me in return. Unconditionally. To be our own little unit fighting against the darkness in the world.
Well, the Goddess had blessed me with two fierce mates who would move mountains for me. And I had made friends here, too. Beyond my charges. Being surrounded by people I could trust—by a family worth loving and, yes, even dying for—was the greatest gift the Soul Reapers could have given me.
However, facts were facts. The Bone Crushers’ attack had proved we were still vulnerable. Even here. Worse than that, if we stayed, we would be sitting ducks. Painting a target on the backs of not only those we loved, but also those who would fight to the death to protect us. Because their alpha ordered them to.
While I had failed them all today, my eyes were open now. I knew how far our enemies reached. And I wouldn’t let my people be exposed to that sort of evil again.
“I know you’ll do whatever you can to keep them from me. To keep me safe—” I began.
“Damn straight.” Mongrel snapped his teeth viciously in the air, causing me to smile and pat his cheek.
“But I’m not the only one in danger here. I have people who rely on me. People who were forced to go through unspeakable things at the hands of the Bone Crushers. I can’t let them go through that again, Mongrel. I won’t. I have a duty to protect them.”
I sat up and looked down at Mongrel.
“It’s personal between me and the Bone Crushers. Chains is gone, but I saw Venom’s hand in the attack today. He wanted to punish me. To let me know he was still here, still coming for me. That he’s ready to destroy all of us for revenge. Your people. Mine. His own pack. And anyone even remotely associated with the Soul Reapers.”
Drawing in a ragged breath, I pressed on. “The Bone Crushers blame me for the auction’s failure as much as they blame the Soul Reapers. I never conformed. Never feared them as they felt I should. Never broke. They beat me. Took their boots to me. Their belts. Fists. Claws. Once, Chains was so mad, he broke a bottle and stabbed it into my leg. Wound didn’t fester. Lucky, I guess,” I laughed dully. I’d wished I was dead that day but the Goddess had plans for me. Plans that didn’t include that sick bastard. “Threw me into that cage for days on end. With hardly enough food and water to survive. Letting the desert sun wreck my body...”
“Did they force you?” The words tore out of his throat like razor blades.
“No. Not me. They preferred to torture me in other ways. Show me what was coming so my mind could stew upon the inevitable.”
Though Mongrel’s body was wound tight beneath me, his hand never stopped stroking my back, never became a tool of his rage.
“When the sun went down, they fucked their sweetbutts up against the shed and spilled their seed onto the ground at my feet while I lay naked and shivering on the bottom of that cage.” Mongrel felt like he was ready to rip the world to shreds on my behalf. “When I didn’t break, they took Winter from me. Because she showed me kindness, courage and friendship. They punished her humanity by crushing her soul.”
“Those animals beat you, threw you in a cage and jerked off while you sweated it out in the desert?” Mongrel growled. I could feel his anger and remorse spiraling, yet I couldn’t do much to alleviate his pain. It was my own, after all. My soul’s torment reflected back by another. I simply nodded as he lifted my chin up from where it had fallen to my chest in shame. “Those sons of bitches tried to break you, mate? Grind you into dust beneath their boots?”
I could see what he was getting at. His fierce scowl said he thought I’d won. I’d thought that, too, at the time.
“They tried but they couldn’t.” I smiled weakly. “I’m the little alpha, remember? The strong one? So they broke Winter instead. To punish me. Don’t you see?”
He nodded reluctantly, throat bobbing like he wanted to deny the shame I carried. I moved off a bit and tucked my legs up under me, wrapping my arms around them like a shield as I leaned against the headboard.
“Well, today’s attack was another message,” I whispered, useless tears gathering once more in my eyes. “They’ll never stop treating us as less-than, Mongrel. Never. They mean to claim us back. To force us to be possessions once more.”
I stared off into the distance, chewing on the inevitable war that was racing toward us. Weighing up all the options and looking for a solution which wouldn’t leave everyone torn and broken. But there wasn’t one, was there?
Winter had taught me that. Sometimes the only way forward was to break and hope you could put the broken pieces of yourself back together once the storm had passed.
“That’s why I can’t let Grimm push me around. Why I can’t stay here and defer to his judgement. I need to have a seat at the table as he makes those decisions. Decisions which affect everyone’s future. I have to be the voice those people never had. That is my purpose in life. Why?” My voice sounded bitter now as my heart sagged in my chest. “Because I’m the strong one.”
I didn’t feel strong, not anymore. Grimm had stolen that from me when he’d refused to give me the tools I needed to fight this battle on even ground. The grief—the impossibility of this task I’d set myself while facing down vicious enemies and divided loyalties—was flowing out of me now.
Mongrel didn’t say another word. He gathered me into his arms and let me weep. I could feel his heavy thoughts in the thunderous silence that fell between us as he stewed on all that had been said. All that remained unspoken.
The enormity of what I was about to ask of my own mate hit me then.
I was going to tear Mongrel’s chosen family apart. I was going to ask him and his omega to choose between his brothers and us. His sworn alpha and me. My people and I had to leave in the morning. Grimm had drawn a line in the sand tonight and made the choice unbearably plain.
The Prez of the Soul Reapers wasn’t willing to melt that ice-bound heart of his, not even to share the considerable burden of leadership with his mate. According to Grimm, there could be only one alpha in a pack.
