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Now, at ten in the morning, I was basically a shell of myself. I hadn’t shaved in days, sporting the stubbly beginning of a beard, and barely had the energy to don my usual attire. However, I couldn’t let the other parents at school drop-off see me in anything but a crisp button up and freshly pressed slacks.
Lucy had been tickled that I was dropping her off at school. She said goodbye to me with a big hug and a kiss. I could have held her in my arms the rest of the day. The rest of her life. But I let her go, trying to hold back the worry from appearing in my eyes. As she skipped off into the school, I held back tears at the idea of losing her.
“You’ve been Lucy’s primary guardian since she was just a baby. Lisbeth left the state after your divorce. There’s lots of points against her.”
I snapped back to reality. “That’s true.”
“But…”
The dreadedbut.
“You’re a single dad. And I know as well as anyone a dad is just as good as a mom. But single fathers have harder time in court. Especially with little girls.” Nelson wasn’t saying anything I didn’t already know but hearing him say it confirmed my fear was founded. “And you don’t have a girlfriend or anything, right?”
My stomach dropped to the floor. “Um. No.”
“Damn. I mean, that’s always a toss-up, depending on the judge, but —”
I pushed away the idea that having Cara around would have been better for my case. That would have just been using her. As I had apparently already done plenty. “Hold up. We’re going to court?”
Nelson waffled. “Eh, that depends. We’ll start with mediation, but if you’re resolute and Lisbeth is determined to change the custody agreement, then we might need to go to family court.”
“I don’t want that.”
“Then you might have to get ready to make a few concessions.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
Nelson held up his hands defensively. “Woah, woah, woah, easy there, Wes —”
“I’m herfather. I’m the sole provider. Hell, I pay Lisbeth alimony to live in Miami and screw yachtsman.”
“Let’s keep that out of the conversation, huh?”
“Why shouldIhave to make concessions when my life has been all about our daughter?Mydaughter. Lisbeth chose to leave her. She’s made it clear how little she wants to do with her. What kind of credibility does she have?”
Nelson was a remarkably patient man. It’s why he worked with people like me and why we paid him the big bucks. No tyrant was too demanding for Nelson. Somehow, he could always neutralize me with an admonishing look. “Wesley. Look at me, kid.”
Kid…please. I’m ten years younger than you.
“You do a lot for your daughter. That’s true. But you’ve required nannies —”
“I don’t have a nanny.”Anymore.“And besides, what person doesn’t require childcare?”
“— and your days are long. You run a multi-billion-dollar corporation. In anyone’s eyes, that complicates your ability to be a father to your child.”
My life had been dedicated to crafting my empire. That was, until Lucy was born. But by that point, I already had the empire to run. I couldn’t just abandon it. Besides, I had to provide for my daughter. And my wife, too…abandoning MediaDeck would have been foolish. Anyone could have seen that.
“Iknow it doesn’t.” Nelson clicked his tongue, continuing his thought. “People aren’t as nuanced as me, though. All I’m saying is that with your long hours and heavy commitments, it’s hard for people to believe you can be a committed father figure.” He touched his heart. “Not me. Some people.”
I remained quiet the rest of our meeting, listening to Nelson lay out our game plan for the custody mediation that was only a week away. I’d have to trust him.
But any optimism I’d managed to cling to was fading.
§
Lucy scraped her fork around the plate. It grated on my nerves. Usually when I was exhausted, I might get snippy with her, ask her to be quieter. But I was so beyond that point. I was just staring at her fork pushing the food around on her plate.
“Daddy, when is Cara coming back?”
